Hello,  I suffered from PND very badly.  It is good that you are on meds, stick with it, they take a while to work.  Do you have any family network to help you with the kids?  That could be a helpful start.  Now that you know you have PND is your husband going to resume living in the family home, or do you even want him to?  You may want to consider seeing a therapist.  I saw one for 5 years and it helped greatly, and my therapist suggested my husband and I see a family therapist who could help us both, which was also fantastic.  Can you afford the help of a nanny for a while?  And have you thought about being hospitalised for a short time (I don't know how severe the PND is, I don't wish to offend) Your baby can remain with you and the older one with Daddy for a little bit, as he has Aspergers perhaps your husband could move home to take care of him. 

I really feel for you, and can empathise, this is just a little glitch in the scheme of things - and you are not alone.  Have you called Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36 (in Australia) Also each council has a Crisis assesment team that you can call for help.  There is plenty of help so please please utilise it.

And keep your legs  crossed, if your husband wants love, he has to give some. Sex is just sex and may confuse you.  Your husband sounds quite young, but perhaps you can talk to his parents and get them to help him understand the situation.  Sorry I'm rambling!  If you would like to email me personally, please do.  But just know, you don't have to cope by yourself.  Let us know how you get on

Firstly im so sorry that you have been suffering from PND. I also have been suffering PND and it is very hard to deal with, especially when you dont have the support from your partner!! I think you need to take him to the dr with you and have the dr explain to him what PND actually is!! He has left you at a really bad time. You are the one who needs the love and support at this time, not have your man walk out on you! Its funny what children do really understand, you need to be honest to your son to a point. This helps them understand why ......Sweetie,i hope things get better for you, its a long road to be travelling on,im still travelling mine but i am taking one day at a time,baby steps as they say.....

all the best......naomi xx

Sorry but, "he felt neglected" what on earth does he think that by treating you so harshly he would achieve? O.K you have recognised that you have PND and are getting help, excellent. So why is he not home helping you through this rather than adding to your stress.What has he done to aid you through this debilitating and dark phase you are going through? Where is he to help relieve the stress, to reassure the children and support you through the fatigue. Popping in for sexual relief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hun you deserve and if I were you, demand more respect.

You say you have a youngster with Aspergers to support, where is Daddy to aid you all in helping the little ones to understand how sad you feel, in all this. From a strangers point of view, this man sounds very selfish and self centred. You and your children should be deserving of so much more, than he has given.

I think if I was you, I would be seriously thinking of setting boundries and laying out demands in your favour, sex being well off the agenda and if he is unwilling to contribute emotionally, physically and socialy to family life, then sadly you are better of without him in the long run. I wish you well and hope you find the right path for you and  your kiddies, but try to hold the fact that you deserve to be respected in all things and not picked up and dropped at anothers whim, esspecially a partners.

Luv Winnie.xxxx

Its a hard journey & many mums are in the same spot. Whatever they think now, your kids will know it was you who was there for them later on. So don't worry about that.

It sounds like hubby has got his bread butterred both sides; he gets the kids whenever he wants; doesn't have to deal with it if he's too busy & breaks promises; has no real responsibility; & gets to have sex with you whenever he wants. Welcome to door-matville! 

I understand you still love him but Hon, it sure doesn't sound like he loves you. And still sleeping with him whenever he wants robs you of your dignity as well. I recommend you start dealing with him on your terms otherwise its all downhill from here. Make it so he has to call before he comes over, pre-organise having the kids & make him stick to it. Cuddle & commisserate with the kids when he doesn't show up. Make sure you get all the maintenance money that's coming to you. And whether you feel like it or not; you need to meet other men. Its probably too soon for you to hook up with a new fella, but you sure need the ego-boost that goes with knowing you've still got "it". And who knows; maybe in a couple of years, you will have met someone lovely who will love & care for you.

You don't deserve to be a doormat, a domestic slave or an unpaid prostitute. Anything at all you can do to boost your self-esteem is a good place to start. I was a mostly-sole parent myself. You will find the strength to get thru this. Just don't waste energy on people who use or abuse you.

I know you didn't sign up for this; its so unjust that men get to walk away & leave their mess behind for us to clean up. But Nature made us tough for good reason. You are stronger than you think; I have every confidence in you.

hugs

Rosalinda

PND is a very hard thing to deal with as a partner. feel free to MM my hubby Fry. My hubby has had to deal with it for 8 years with me, not just PND but depression in general.

What I personally would do is sit him down and tell him this is how you feel, this is what you want in your life. You need to sit down with yourself and decide what you want out of this too. the fact that you are 26 (like me), PND and have a Autistic son ( I do too) and coping is a good thing.

Sorry to say this too as I think it is harsh what your ex did, but I find it so mean that he walked out on you to make you wake up to your self. You cant just click your fingers and be cured of PND. it just doesnt work that way.

Feel free to MM me if you ever want to chat.