Well Just to update you all I tried talking to her about this, she denied it all, and when i pushed the subject she told me to go get fucked and stay outta her life. So there goes another friend ohh wel.

I would certainly speak with her about this..It seems like nothing has been going right for her lately and she is just having a hard time dealing with things..I think that you could help open her eyes..What she is doing, though it may seem good for a moment is only going to hurt her in the long run..

good luck

I wish you and her the best

Get her to Centrelink!  They have a great support system that will help her see where the issues are and where she should be heading.  Also, they have more referral services etc than I would ever know what to do with.

The other organisation that might be of help is Relationships Australia.  They don't just deal with relationships either, in fact, I have an open arrangement with them if I really feel I need some space to think and talk about anything.  If there is one in a small town like where I live, then there will be one near you.

Your friend really does need to start living again, and I mean real living.  She is probably very confused and hurt at the moment and needs a lot of support.  If she is 'entertaining' men like you feel she is, it could be because she wants to feel wanted/needed, and by opening this area of her life up, she gets that need met, even if it is only for a short while.

If there are a group of you who are concerned about her, get together and brainstorm a plan.  Your local gp might be able to offer some help with this as well.

It must be very hard watching her go through all this, especially since their is a young child involved in it all.  Keep being there for her, but start to get pushy.  Don't be afraid to make her cry either because that is what she needs and it might just be the thing that helps her to realise her life is on the wrong tracks.

hi there,

I would like to say i feel sori for you because the pain you are going through to see this happen to your friend.Honestly there is nothing you or any one else can do for her.she doesnt see what she is doing is wrong and she more than likely feels powerless herself at the moment.she properly thinks it is best for her child to be in care.Your friend will hit rock bottom and while she is on the steady road to there she will push family and friends away.its only when she is at her lowest point will she want to turn her life around.it is sad because for some people it can take 20 years to hit rock bottom and then it is too late because her child will be all grown up.

it is really sad for the child as a foster carer i deal with these children often. the department give the parents goals to reach and if they dont step up to the mark to change, thesituation may be permanent.the young lady you speak of will probably have very low self esteam and abad opinion of her self(im a bad mum unable to care for my self or my child).she is theonly one that can want to change and can do it.good luck to your friend it isa long hard road ahead for her and her daughter.

I think that if having your child taken away from you isn't the wake up call you need, then you will be banging your head against a brick wall, this is not a person who is ready to be a full time parent for what ever reason.  Someone ready to parent would have got rid of the abusive boyfriend and gone straight to the authorities to find out exactly what they need to do to get their child back, not become the town mattress.

I'm sorry but some times people cannot be helped if they don't want to help themselves and I am of the notion if she isn't doing everything she can to get her child back then the child is safer physically and morrally whilst out of her care at this point in time.  She needs to mature before she can be a parent, it takes more than giving birth some times.  be there for the child and the mother only when she makes an effort to help herself, thats my advice.

p.s.

try not to shoulder the responsibilities of other people, it will weigh down your own personal life and we have enough of our own without taking on other peoples . xo

Hi honey,

What a totally sad situation and I wish I could tell you something to help you to help your friend BUT if losing her child wasn't enough to shock her into changing then sadly there is very little you can do . . . At the end of the day you can't help someone that won't help themselves.

Perhaps you could ring your local domestic violence service and ask for them to mail you some pamphlets on counseling and then you could either give them to your friend or put them in her letterbox . . .

It's very hard to watch a friend lose control of their life but as I said above unless they want help there really isn't much you can do . . .  I am not saying to cut contact as you should let her know that you care about her and that you are there for her but that's really all you can do . . . .

Wish I could say more  . . . Cheers Kellz