Hey, I'm thinking that putting in the girls into the same room (the bigger one) might be a good idea. Can you arrange the furniture so that they are separate-ish, so each has her own space?

A few idea - shelves or drawers down the middle, one facing one way, the other next to it facing the other way. Or try putting both their beds heads together so they are lying head to head - still kinda separate. A curtain or sheet is a good divider too, as others mentioned.

Some of the best and worst memories of childhood come from sharing bedrooms!

The fridge is probaby a bit over the top, especially considering space is an issue.

I like the idea of giving the girls a budget to decorate their halves of the room. If your 12 year old decorates straight awat and your nine year old wants to wait a bit, or make/ buy something when she sees it, then so be it. Sharing the one room with the same amount of decorating may help with the feeling unequal.

Good luck with sorting it out and with the move!

Hi there,

I have just noticed that your girls are aged 12 and 9 yrs . . This is not a huge difference and I am wondering as to why exactly that  you have offered the 12 yr old a room all too herself and how the 9 yr old really feels . .  I understand your want to allow the 12 yr old a bit of independence but at  the end of the day she is only 12 and still a child . .

I would perhaps say that both the girls could have the larger room and divide it in half, even if you have to hang a sheet as a room divider for a while. Allow both girls to design their side BUT offer them a budget. . .  This will not only give them some control over their space but it will also in the long run strengthen their sisterly bond. If there is a time when the 12 yr-old really needs some time to herself then you could perhaps loan her your room for a night.

It's great that you are prepared to surrender your own space for your children but this can be a very wobbly path and you may find things very difficult in the long run . .  AS for the bar fridge, personally I think that this is over the top. My 17 has only only just asked for the sme thing and I've said if you want it you buy it . ..  lol

Take care and I hope things work out well for you and your girls . . .

Cheers Kellz

Hey, I once saw a Dr Phil show about parenting and one of his sons greatest memories was when he asked his dad if he could decorate his room. Dr Phil said to him he could design his room anyway that he liked as long as he kept it clean.  Dr Phil went onto explain that in the scheme of things if that was something so important to your child and it wasn't hurting anyone then why not? Walls can always be painted, poster can always be taken down etc but if it brings joy to your daughter then I say why not!  If you are really concerned about it then together come up with some rules so that she feels like you are not dictating what she can and can't do. 

As for you other daughter (not sure how old she is) maybe you could buy one of those funky dividers (op shops might even have one) and use that to divide your room and together you could decorate it.  Obviously, at different ages you have different privilages and she may need that explained to her. 

As for the fridge....what is her reason for wanting one?  I wouldn't let my daughter have one (but that is just me) as I see no point to it especially if you live in such as small apartment.  Also like someone else mentioned they can be quite costly so maybe explain that to her. 

Wish you well x

 Dorm-sized mini-refrigerators are extremely inefficient with energy.  A lot of them require the same amount of power as a regular sized refrigerator.  That's quite the electric increase to allow her.  

You're letting her have the room to herself, does she really NEED that, anyway?  She can't be all that far from the regular fridge, if it's as small as you say.

I can't comment on the rest of your question because I'm not sure what "full design" means.  ?

Hi there

I just read your profile and saw that your older daughter is only 12. I understand that having her own space is important to her at this age, i wouldn't let her have a bar fridge in her room. It does encourage her to hide stuff she isnt normally allowed to have. It would also encourage her to stay in her room more often than needed. As for letting her design it, i think you should do it together. Tell her from the start what is acceptable and what is not. Explain to her that it isnt cheap to buy certain products. I also think that there should be a big emphasis put on the fact that this is her space and she will need to look after it.

The only thing i can think of to make it fairer for your younger daughter, is to maybe (size of your room permitting) put a curtain divider in your room so that she too has a little privacy. Allow her to decorate her area of the room you are sharing, with maybe some posters, pictures that she likes. That way she may not feel so jealous towards your older daughters privacy. Or you could let her organise the living area, and put her personal touch to that?

I know how hard it is liiving in an apartment. My sister and i lived with our Mum in a tiny 2 bedroom one when i was younger too. But with a little compramise (sp) from all parties, you should do just fine.

I think that letting both of your daughter's share equally in the decorating would  help to ensure that they both feel like they have a say!

good luck!!

yes there probly will be jelousy and there is nothing that you can do really as all siblings get jelouse. but like you i wouldnt allow her a fridge in her room as this just gives her reason to stay in her room and not socialise with the family. and she could also have things in it that you would normally say no to like somewhere to hide alcohole or other refrigerated items she wouldnt normally be allowed to have on a daily basis. as for your younger girl show her a few designs to give her ideas to what she wants and dont let your older girl over do it your the one who has to get/pay for things make her work for extra items she wants.