Hey,

I'm like you and am (still) desperate to have a baby... and I too envision it to be a 'happy time' where 'everything feels wonderful' etc... I am hoping that since my own mother and MIL had relatively easy pregnancies that I will have too.

However, as I see my bestie going through her preg (she is 36 weeks) I see that it may not be all smooth sailing and am becoming more prepared and aware of how things may feel, in a more realistic world.

Stay strong, and focus on the end result.... that will be worth more than anything in the world...

Best of luck xxxxxxx

I've had 5 babies now, and my 2nd, 3rd and 4th, I really resented the last few months.  I could barely move.  With my 5th, I used a gym ball (sitting on it and rocking) to help ease the back, pelvic and other pains.  It really worked.  They make great chairs for working at the computer too.

Feeling like this is normal, but as you do have a history of depression, it is still something you need to talk with your gp about.  You are higher risk of pre and post natal depression, so need to have your supports in place now.

Being a teacher, I'm guessing you are on your feet much of the day.  This won't be helping your pain at all.  One thing I know that has been a big help to me is walking.  Gentle, reasonably paced walking and I used hills as well as they provide variation to the muscles etc.  This means the muscles don't have time to get used to one thing which helps to reduce the pain.

With my last pregnancy, I used the stairs in our home for relief too.  Again, it is the same as the way I walked, and was  alot of help, so much so, I used to go up and down the stairs in the middle of the night when I got really sore.

You need to keep the blood flow to the pelvic and back regions going.  This helps to reduce pain, increase mobility and will help with an easier birth as well.

Swimming, if you have access to a pool, provides temporary relief too, but I found, once out of the pool, the pain was back within a few minutes.

basically, there is no quick fix for what you are going through, the only thing that will fix it is giving birth.  I would suggest you take your leave early and concerntrate on keeping yourself comfortable.  If you can't do that, get a gym ball and take it to work with you.  I'm sure your boss will be more than happy to allow you to use it when teaching, if it means they get to keep you there for longer.

Your emotions will be a mess because of hormones and it is important to monitor your feelings etc.  Write about them (but I don't need to tell a teacher that).

I know with my second baby, I was actually very resentful of being pregnant by the time I was 6 months because of the pain.  I felt I was missing out on seeing my oldest daughter growing up (she was born a year before #2).  I was told that it was normal to feel that way and that it would go away once she was born.  It did, and then a whole new set of problems set in.

I think you are also worried about coping with motherhood.  It is scary and exciting at the same time, and you will find your way with it the best way you can.  Joining minti where you can get advice and support was  a good move.  I can tell you now, I have never been so in control of my feelings and it is all because of the help and support I have found here.

The most important person in this pregnancy right now is you!  Get your medical leave from work it's just not worth the extra anxiety.  You have to keep yourself as healthy as you can.  If you have suffered from depression before you will probably know that running yourself down is a proven precursor to further problems.  Take care of you first.  You need to be in a position to do what you need to do to make your present situation as comfortable as possible.  Being at work does not provide you with that opportunity.  You need to speak to your doctor about how you feel so you can get the help you need.  Pregnancy is not always comfortable and your doctor will know this.

Keep in touch.  We will love to know what you eventually have.  No matter how bad you may feel now, the end result will be spectacular.

It sounds like you've had a really  hard time so don't be even harder on yourself.  I had an easy pregnancy by comparison, but gave up work at 35 weeks (thinking I had 5 weeks at home), only to deliver early due to pre-eclampsia.  There is a lot of pressure on pregnant mums to work as long as you can - one lady I worked with worked past her due date to the day she delivered.  After I gave up work I really wished I had given up earlier as I think it would have caused less stress all around and maybe given the baby & me an easier time of things.  It's your decision - don't feel pressured or think you are copping out.

not sure if this wiil but first baby is always the hardest as you've entered the unknown zone and different aches and pains,but believe me when you have had your baby and it's healthy it will be all worth it.get medical grounds to leave work no matter the cost if your in aposition to do so.You need as much rest as poss before bubs comes mentally and physically.Have you got fave music/uplifting music you can listen to. as many baths you like,I had at least 4 a day after 28 weeks with first. burn lavender oil.swimming it will conerreact weight and you may/should feel relief from your pain and get the exersise for the endorphins.remember it's as hard as it is it's only another 10 weeks out of the rest of your life!!i think women are allowed to whinge while pregnant,and no not rediculous just hormonal and in pain you are allowed to feel the way you do when you can't do the things you want and need too. i really do know how you feel.

Hi.

I know eactly how you are feeling. I, like you suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PCOS which made our chances of concieving naturally very slim so when I did you would have thought I would have been in the happiest person in the world but I had  a bit of a rough time with sickness and a trapped sciatic nerve and had to go on reduced hours at work and went on maternity leave as soon as I could.

I would suggest seeing your doctor to discuss how you are feeling,  few women feel 100% during pregnancy, not every women blooms and some can feel down and poorly throughout especially in the last trimester. It is not wrong to feel this way and it may just be a case of feeling unwell and anxious about your pending labour,birth and responsibility or it could be pre-natal depression (I don't mean to scare you) either way you need to seek some medical advise, if you feel unable to discuss this with your doctor the best advice I was given was to write how you feel in a letter then give it to your doctor at your appointment. In the meantime I have a little corner of Minti called "pregnant in 2008" where us pregnant Minti's can chat about the highs and lows, I will send you an invite.

Take care

Clare xxxx

yep i certainly did leave work early. with my first baby work got more and more miserable every day. with my second i was a stay at home mom, but i was still miserable, and i did the exact same thing, waking up at night worrying about how i will get through the next day. at my 37 week appt with my midwife, i burst into tears (it wasn't the first time, either) and BEGGED her to induce me right then and there because i was SO uncomfortable and anxious. but she wouldn't because there was nothing medically wrong. so, i had to wait 2 more weeks. the WORST 2 weeks of my life, i'm pretty sure. don't worry, your baby is happy and healthy in there little home inside you. they have no idea what you're feeling or worrying about.

all i can do is wish you good luck, and hope for your sake the low laying placenta will make your dr induce early, because those last two weeks of both my pregnancies were hell . and about leaving work- if you feel miserable, i say leave. you'll want to come back when you're ready. you have to worry about your own well being right now. good luck!

I have always been a worker, some weeks up to 70+ hours, so i thought when i fell pregnant that i could work up to 37 weeks, i was very wrong. I stopped at 28 weeks. Mostly because i couldnt get comfortable and didnt have enough energy to then come home and make time for my husband and I...

Are you taking a pregnancy vitamin? I skipt mine for a couple of months (with out noticing) when i went back on them i felt quiet good. Pregnancy massage helped me so much... It gave me the time to relax and detach from what was going on.

Good luck with it all, wont be long and you'll have you first baby and it will have all been worth it.xxx

Go and see your doctor.  Take time from work if you need to, you say it's only two weeks before you finish up so take them.  Pre-natal depression is very real so i would suggest going to talk to your GP as a starting point.  Pregnancy is not an easy road for everyone, and you still have 10 weeks to go.  Think about you right now and do what you need to do.

i had morning sickness from day 1 with both my kids and it lasted all day and night.

with the low lying placenta I would definately ask for leave, specially if you are in pain. An ya know 1 thing..... Kids know ya is in pain and they will either play up on it or be good. but youstill dont need that stress.

I would be going to see my GP to get a letter of leave. your mental health is more important than 2 weeks left at work. also most ppl these days are understanding of these things too.

   Sorry to hear your having such a hard time - it's not all roses for everyone and every pregnacy is different even for the same women.  Mabye just a slow stroll in a quiet place would do the same if you can take it, a good book, a chat with friends or minti may take up some time. 

As for hurting the baby feeling like this - I don't think so - when I was pregnant for Jordan I got hurt on the job and was out on comp. for four months then went  back to work in my second trimester.  Near the end of the second tri. I started to get really depressed.  we were having a very hard time financialy  and I cried daily and then some,  too much stress and worry - Also the pain still from the injury.  Anyway the end result - you'd  be hard pressed to find a happier baby then what we have.  I told my husband that I thought I cried out all his tears too, but he thinks its because the baby could hear him always telling me that everything was going to be okay.  They sure are resilent anyways.  Oh I left work Oct.10 came home to bed and cried -again. 'Told my husband I couldn't go back there (pregnant)- got medical leave and baby was born Jan.11.   I know it seems difficult now but before you know it you will have a beautiful and hopefully happy baby and all will be different and new again. 

                                                        Good luck and happy nappin'   April