We went through this too. I think my husband was just scared that he would do something wrong or hurt him etc. He finally started being actively involved with our son when he was almost 3. It was very upsetting but we're both older now and more experienced so I hope it goes better this time around..

Ok I was trying to breast feed but when my parents came to visit when my son was 2 weeks old my dad pulled my partner aside and had a talk about how he needed to help me. Our son is now 16 1/2 months and he argues about how he can't have fathers day off baby duty cause I do it 5-6 days a week.

Do you have someone who can come in from a males perception that can give him advice?? or just someone he can talk to?? this may open his eye's up to how you are feeling and that yes he works long hours, but you are on call 24/7. He needs to realise that you are a full-time mum, and that all mum's need a little break. Just like he needs a break from his job.

But it may only make a Male to wake ure Fiancee to the honest truth that everyone needs a break. Including mothers. But if you can try and get a father to do it, this is due to the fact that they have or are going through the father thing already.

Hopes this helps

Cheers Queenie xox

Sad to hear this issue is still a problem.

I can hear that you have 2 concerns; one is about hubby not connecting with his son; & the other about being fed up with doing all the baby-work.

Do try talking to him about it; it may not do any good but at least you will have tried. Men who do take on more responsibility with their babies report it as being the most fulfilling thing they've ever done; they are happier & more relaxed & do continue to be more involved with their children even much later on, than men who refuse/chicken out of more active parenting. Since he does work such long hours, aim for something like Friday & Saturday nite-duty being Dad's. And nappy-changes in turns when he's at home. He may never admit to liking it but it will certainly boost his self-confidence to find he's capable.

Failing all that.. there's nothing like the good old "throw them in the deep end" method. (After all; its how we learned isn't it.) Pick a day when he's at home & ask him to mind the baby while you go down the street... Take a mobile phone with you so you can talk him thru anything that comes up.... Just stay out longer than expected; you met a friend; the queue in the shop was long; a grlfriend was having a crisis. At least long enuff for him to have changed a nappy. Now (& this is most important); don't ever criticize how well he does it. Given time alone with his son, he will realise that loose nappies mean more work; burping after a bottle prevents colic later; etc. Just the same as you did.

Now he's proved (to himself) he can do it, take a girls nite off once a fortnite/month. Go out with or visit a friend. He will come to treasure the time alone w/ junior. It will be a boys-nite-in. They'll end up eating pizzas, watching movies/sport, playing computer games etc. Boystuff. A fella who works 50-60 hrs a week needs a change in his routine. And you need it too.

Go to it girl!

Rosalinda

you should count your blessings and be happy that your fiancee is able to be there with you and the baby even if it feels like youre doing all work and hes only doing the fun stuff with the baby. hes still there with you and with your son and is able to watch him grow and interact with him. yea its still hard but you at least have his support and help when you do need a break. you arent completely alone with no one to help you.

my husband left july 28th for basic training and wont be back until october. his son was born august 19 and he will get to hold him for the first time at graduation on oct 24th. and our 16 month old daughter doesnt understand why daddy is gone and is not used to sharing me with the new baby and has started throwing tantrums. but i dont have tyler here to help me so i really am doing EVERYTHING by myself. but its a challenge my husband and i knew we would face when he signed up to become a united states marine and it hasnt been easy.. and i dont expect it to get easier anytime soon but i am proud of my husband and what he is doing for our family and country.

I think that he sounds like he's doing a pretty good job with bubs. My husband and I have 3 children - 10 year old boy, 3 year old girl and 5 month girl. I found that as the kids got older they got closer to their dad then in the beginning. I think a fathers natural role is to play and discipline, while a mums natural role is to care and nuture. As long as he is involved - just go with the flow. Bubs will definitely demand more attention from him when he wants his dad later on.

I honestly dont know whtayou can do because im trying to work that one out myself. My baby has is 7week sold tomorrow and his dad hasnt done anything besides feed him and thats not even once a day. Never changed a nappy, changed clothes, bathed him or anything. He never sits and plays with his toys with him. My parnter works 9hrs 6 days a week and wakes up at 5am everyday but that sno excuse especially since i dnt get to bed till 6-7am and only get 4hrs max sleep, plus i do everything for the baby and clean teh house.

If you find teh answer let me know lol. im sooo drained.