I'm sorry you have been so upset. Perhaps you need to plan a good exit strategy in advance for "next" time, eg. pretend you have just detected a dirty nappy and excuse yourselves to go change it. Then you dont even have to show disrespect for your elders advice, if that is easier for you?

My DD1 was a skinny little baby who was so far behind her contempraries. I remember sitting through a conversation when she was 4 months about how to clean between their double chins, and I had absolutely nothing to add as she only had the one! Well, when she started weaning she started to grow. At 3 months old she went into the 0-3 month clothes, at 6 months she went into the 3-6 month clothes, at 9 months she was into the 6-9 clothes. By 1 year old she was almost caught up. Some of her friends were large babies, but gradually as they started crawling their weight gain stopped, and their height increase slowed. The last one to walk was 18 months, and then even she slimmed down. Meanwhile my DD1 was forging ahead. By 2 she was clearly tall. By 3 she was in 4 year old clothes. Now aged just 6 she is best in 8-9 clothes. I still see some of the kids who used to look so enormous beside her at 10 months, and they're all so tiny in comparison!

But being big has it's down side - when she was 4 she had speech therapy as she was late with some of her sounds, and I didnt want her looking like a 6 year old and sounding like a 3 year old, and being treated like she was an idiot. People expected her to act the age she looked, and she was way too boisterous to manage that! 

Dear Happy Mum,

Please don't cry, people can be so hurtful and mean when they see a child who is different from what they perceive - see, as the norm, I'm sure you love your daughter and are doing the right thing by her. Don't know if my advice helps but i would try to make a joke out of it and tell them her father is superman and she has special gifts and talents, which of course she has!  So do you, so smile and be happy and ignore them.  All the best, keep loving her and tell her how beautiful she is.

Hun, we all get people like that who think they know better, usually it is the older generation because they believe us youngers have not been taught things the proper way.

My advice is to thank them kindly but remind them that they aren't part of your child's life and that you do have everything in hand.  If they start again, then just say to them that you would be more than happy for them to take her for a week or 2 to see if they could do a better job, because when it really comes down to it, they have no clue about your baby and your life.

Of course it hurts when people treat us this way, I know, I've been there too.  But, you are her mother and you are with her 24/7 and you know what is best for her and how to look after her, that is all that matters.

By the sounds of things regarding your daughters weight and height, it might be a good idea to have her tested for a rare genetic condition known as giganticism which is where the body grows at an abnormal rate resulting in being bigger than than normal.  There was a case on the Sunshine Coast (Australia) recently where a woman was reported to welfare because her child was the size of a 5 year old and weighed the same as a 15 year old.  It turned out her son had this condition and there was no cause for welfare to get involved, but the mother was really hurt about the fact people were treating her and her son this way.  Oh, we was 3 at the time of the story.

I'm not surprised you were in tears...how dare she?  These people are ignorant and aren't worth your attention.  I understand that you couldn't tell the senior to f* off perhaps in the future you could just thank them for their concern for your childs welfare and then politely tell them it is none of their concern.

You have a happy, healthy and gorgeous baby and that is what matters.  Hold your head high and know that you are a FANTASTIC parent.

As hard as it is, ignore it. Keeping the following concept in mind may help you be able to do that, just keep telling yourself:

"The person saying this stuff is obviously just ignorant and narrow-minded, and too thick to have enough sense to shut up long enough to learn anything, that it makes their opinion totally worthless and pointless, so why let it get to me when it means nothing?"

You're not the only one that's had this sort of problem. A friend of mine has a daughter that was bigger than the average 7 year old when she was only 3, so people would expect her to be able to communicate like a 7 year old, but because she couldn't, they'd then treat her like she was stupid. In my opinion, it just went to show who the stupid people really were!

Hold your head high, you know you're doing the right thing, you know your daughter is beautiful and healthy, what other people think and have to say about it doesn't matter. No one can bring you down if you hold what you know in your heart to be true at a higher value than what others think or say.

Some people are so rude and insulting.I wouldn't have stood there for that length of time for someone to tell me about how to feed my child.Some kiddies are naturally bigger than others.I have two friends who have babies tha same age.One a boy and one a girl. the girl is minute compared to the boy. he looks a good 3 months older and his mum is a bit paranoid about it.he is fit and healthy so whats the problem? You obviously give your baby good food and as long as you know that don't give people the satisfaction of pulling you down.

People are quick to pass judgement.When mine were about 4 they were playing up outside a shop.It was bad enough to get stared at.I gavve them both warnings and eventually tapped them on their bottoms. One of the women who had been staring then told me off for smacking their bums'. I told her to f... off and mind her own business and she soon shut up. I know this is a different circumstance but you stand up for yourself.Being a mum is hard enough without interfering busybodys.

Lisa xx

Awww sweetie! As hard as it is don't worry about what other people say!! I've had my parenting put down many times (mainly from the in-laws) but you can't judge yourself as a parent by what others say. And who cares if your bubby weighs more than others her age - me and my sister were very chubby bubbies, we had arm rolls and everything but look at us now and we're both stick thin! My mum used to get compliments on how chubby we were because we looked like little cabbage patch dolls and we were never ever allowed any sugary or fatty food - we just got fed well. My best friend's baby also weighs more at 8 months than my 2 year old but all babies are different. You'll probably find that your little one could win photo competitions because she's such a cutie! Plus remember at 10 months babies aren't that active when she starts walking (and running as toddlers do) her weight will probably stabilise more. That's whats happened to the bunch of babies in my mother's group!! Good luck hun and try not to let it bother you! xox

I have learnt to get up and say thank you and walk away, even if they havent finished.

As for that girl, sorry but who gives a rats what ppl think. they only thing that matters is she is healthy and u know it.

unfortunatly i too have found that the elderly are the ones who cause the most issues with this unwanted advice and it plays tricks in young and new parents (in particular) heads because they have always been told to listen to their elders. but these people are quite smart and know what they are doing is wrong (the ones who do this probably have quite uninteresting lives and are unhappy themselves... they are looking for either a reaction or to spread their misery in an attempt to take others down with them)

bottom line though

is your daughter happy?

is she healthy?

is she the most amazing thing you have seen in your life?

do you love your daughter?

the answer would have been yes to all those i am sure.... if that is the case then you have enough confidence in your abilities as a parent to get through anything these vendictive people may throw at you. your daughter needs only for you to have this confidence and remember the answers to these questions next time someone try's to break your resolve.... then you will know your solution. ::)'s -becca

That is so rude of her, and i would have asked doesnt she have a life that she feels to need to walk up to complete strangers and judge you on  how your daughters weight and size... I would have told her in no certain circumstanses to mind her own buisness and let you enjoy your time with your gf..

As for that other comment, i would just ignore that all together, as some people just dont think when they speak,and 9- 10 it come back and blow up in there face..

You have a gorgeous litle girl. and if she is a chubby bub so be it, means that she is still loved and well fed.. and most bubs are chubby to they start running around..

Next time smile and thank the person that fills that they need to voice their opionion and ask them nicely to move on

xx cazza

my daughter is 3 and1/2 and she weighs 20kg and is very tall for her age and i have had people come up to me to i have also had the docs tell me to put her on a diet. DONT LET THESE PEOPLE GET TO YOU you are doing everything a good parent should do and NO ONE has the right to give you a lecture tell them politely to go away and if they dont listen just say im sorry but i have things to do thats what i do when elderly people tell me what to do with my daughter.Chin up and remember you are a good parent.Good luckand remember your daughter is beautiful.

Hey,

 I know exactly how you are feeling 2 of my five children were so chubby with rubber band marks etc that I was told to put them on diets and they weren't even aged 12 months.

My little girl weighed 12kg at 12 months

at 24 months she weighed 16kg

and now aged 3 she weighs 21kg

but take a look at the photos she is not "fat any more" she is extremely tall

she has also had a very good diet all her life but does get treats now and then

As for my son he was even worse he was 15kg at 12 months

at 24 months he was 19kg

aged 4 he was 25kg

now aged 7 he is 32 kg

have a look in your Blue Book and they are both way out of the scale but are healthy children.

pay no attention to people that say things like that to you, you know you are doing the right thing and feeding your child the right foods and that is all that matters. Not what other people think that dont even know you.

personally i think fat babies are gorgous with their little roles around ther wrists.  my son is 5 mths and in the head butting stage (hs head control but likes to butt pple) and he got me good but gave himself a black eye.  as u can guess i got lectured and told off for hittin my child i just told them straight that ill give them a black eye if they dont knick off.

u no ur own child so just ignore other pples comments.

 Sorry to hear that you upset sweetie, try not to be as you know that your doing all the right things by your beautiful baby girl, they don't.

There are small minded people out there that  don't think before they speak and they are not worth giving them the time of day. Next time this happens say very sweetly ( elderly or not) do you know me? "NO" then you have no right to sit in judgement of what I feed my daughter.

Cheers Janice

How rude,and how terrible for them women to say them things. They had no right!! Senior or not, I wouldnt have bit my tongue but thats just me, i cant let ppl walk all over me. Your daughter is gorgeous and i wouldnt call her fat at all. All babies grow differently, My son is 11weeks old and beleive me you wudnt think he was born just 6pounds!! He is 6.5 kgs now and REALLY long!! He honesly looks like a 6month old. Ive had people gob smacked when i tell them he is only 11weeks old and ive had ppl say "but omg he is huge!!" He isnt huge at all, its just that his long. Like bubba76 has told you, If there was a big problem with her weight your health nurse would be telling you. You yourself know your daughter is beautiful in everyway and i can tell you too she is a beautiful little girl. Dont worry what people have to say they just have nothing better to do! Im probly going to go through the same thing but i dont acre cos i know my little man is gorgeous and at least he looks and is healthy.

Chubby babies are cute!!

Dannii xxo

You could always say something like, excuse me, but please mind your own business. If it is possible to walk away then do so. Sends a clear message without being verbally impolite and feeling bad about it later on.

When I first fell pregnant a friend who already had a child said told me to look at all that advice that people give as "information". Take from it what you want and ignore the rest. Good advice I thought.

Hi hon...your not the only one who gets this from people...my son is 6 months old and he has been big since he was born (birthweight 10lbs). We have been getting comments like you, from people calling him fat. You are wonderful holding your tongue but me l turn around and tell them off, l cant help it...but sometimes you have had it and can take no more...my favourite saying is well at least he is healthy and enjoying being a baby or he can lose the weight , what happened to you. Sorry but thats me.

l got a lecture about him having red cheeks yesterday and how he showed be whereing the long sleeved top l had on him....l snapped again and told the women to mine her on business and by the way he is teething - you would have known that if you had kids.

Smile and take no notice of them, your the mother you have the right to stand up for your beauitful little girl. From what l can see ( in her pics) if there was a problem with her size your health nurse would have said something, but  she really looks like a healthy, happy, cheeky baby girl....hon l know this aint right but sometimes you have to be rude if there being rude to you....do it back.

Sorry if this upsets anyone.

Good luck and smile

Hugs Heather xxoo

Some people don't know when to shut up. That's all it is. Every baby is different. My son is also long for his age, and he goes through cycles. He'll have a growth spurt, then he'll stop and put on a heap of weight, which will then fuel his next growth spurt when he'll end up reasonably thin again. On the other hand my niece remained chubby until her third birthday when she just sprouted and it all kind of burned off. It concerned her mother, who like you kept her on a healthy diet with plenty of exercise, but it all came good.

People who make judgements on your children either don't have children of their own or are so close minded that they think that their experiences are 'normal' and everyone else is 'not normal'. You know your little girl better than anyone else. You're her world and nobody else knows her like you do. If the old woman was so crass as to sit a perfect stranger down and lecture them about a child they know nothing about then the damage is hers, not yours or your daughter's. The same with the other woman. Stay positive and strong for your daughter. I know it's not much compensation, when what your instincts tell you to do is tear down these two woman, but your calm manner will reflect on your daughter. By staying calm, you keep your daughter's innocence and her beautiful spirit intact and you get to shield her from some of the harsher realities of the world a little longer. And I think the long term effects of that are so much more valuable than the short term 'feel good win' in tearing down two clueless woman.

Good for you :)