thank you everyone for your great advice it gives me alot to think about and was very helpful :)

Firstly - what's one more year at home as compared with his confidence for the next 14 years at school?

I struggled long and hard with this one as my son's birthday is in April as well.

I spoke to many people, teachers, parents many many people.

The general consensus is - especially for boys - let them stay at home that one more year.  You're not "holding them back", you're building a better basis.

I am so glad we kept DS back.  He's going quite well at school as compared with "coping", which is what he would have done if he'd started a year earlier.

My niece is a January babe, and started a week after she turned 5.  She flew through primary school - she fell in a hole at secondary - she was just so much more immature than the older kids. 

Your son can always skip a year if he's brilliant - it's so much harder to keep the down a year.

The other thing to consider is composites.  Imagine you start your 4yo in Feb, but the previous year a 7yo started (which they can do)

In Grade One your now 5yo could be in a composite with a Grade Two 8yo.   I didn't want my son placed under that sort of possible duress.

I live in Australia and our kids can do kindy at 4 both my kids have birthdays at the end of the year and with my oldest she went to kindy the year after she terned 4 and is really doing well she now in year 1 and my youngest is not yet ready for kindy but i'll do the same with him. I would do it eny other way i can see its great for my oldest.

Sorry just adding a little more on from before  -  also consider there could be quite a few who are 6 months or even 12 months older than your son. There only ever seems to be a few of the younger ones in  a class.

Teachers have told me some of the younger kids have lesser developed fine motor skills and struggle with writing their name etc. But then that doesnt necessarily mean that older kids won't have that problem either.

I would even also suggest talking to your son about it and guage his response. If he's not that keen then probably better to wait.

And remember in the end it is YOUR decision, listen to advice but don't let anyone tell you yes he is or no he isn't, just trust your own judgement. You know him best

I had one that started when he was 4. His birthday is middle may. He started getting very tired and by the middle of the year I was having trouble getting him to go to school especially fridays. I ended up taking him out in the 3rd term and sending him back to preschool. Though the school told me to wait till november.

Also 2 younger ones in his class did the whole year but repeated.  Teachers really dont like younger kids starting and will always be at you about repeating (my experience anyway).

The other thing is you wil find it tiring if he has reading homework that he is finding difficult. Although I have seen some of the younger 4's pick reading up easily.

I personally think better to wait,

I would only consider it if he is particularly bright and socially well adjusted, communicating well and assertive.

Absolutely agree with "mumof2boys. Holding them back was absolutely worth it, and I think it will help even more when they are in high school and are that bit more mature to handle it.

Hi, I struggled with this also. I'm son's b'day is is feb, and we decided to hold him back, so he will be nearly 6 when he starts. It's a big decision, and while I think he would of been ok to go a nearly 5, I think you need to consider the that while they might be ok at prep etc, will they struggle in grade 6???? I think it's better to hold thme back now, then have to hold them back later when all their friends are going on.

It's a personal decision, but you know your child better than anyone else, and if something is telling you maybe not, maybe you should listen..... 

Good luck,

Does your son attend any pre-school or daycare centres? If not this may be a way for your son to adjust to schooling. And for you to see him interact with other children on a social level. You yourself would know whether he is ready for school eg: eager to learn things, always asking questions (which any child at that age does). But above all, ASK HIM. Does he want to go to school?

My eldest son's bday was in June so i held him back cause he was too young, and it did him wonders, but in that time he attend pre-school. My younger sons bday is in May and he will be able to go to school then, but he is only 2 at moment. I will see when he is at that age and judge for myself whether he is ready or not.

Boys usually develope slower than girls, and he would probably find it more easier to cope with school if you hold him back till he 5, but you know whether he is bright and needs schooling now. Hope this helps

Hi there

I empathise with you - I had the same dilema with my son. 

Mumto2Boys has given you a BRILLIANT answer and I agree 100% with all the points she has made.  There are so many factors to consider and she seems to have addressed them all pretty thoroughly.

Unlike her, I didn't hold my son back because he started school the year he was turning 6 (September) and I felt he would be "too" old to start the next year.  However, that wasn't my primary reason ... his pre-school had assessed him as ready for school.  In many ways he was, including emotionally, but he would not hold a pair of scissors, didn't like holding a pencil and had no interest in the alphabet! 

As a result of these crucial milestones in young development not being on track with his peers, he lagged behind in reading and writing from kindy onwards.  We did find out through occuptatonal therapy that his exceptionally flixible tendons overstretch, make holding a pencil and maintaining correct grip is very hard work for him - so this had a lot to do with his perceived  "disinterest"!

He's pretty well on track now, but after struggling for the first few years, he has developed some amazing avoidance tactics!  The sad thing is that he has developed a belief that he isn't that smart - but he has a resonable IQ and his memory retention when I study with him (helping him read difficult text) is amazing!

So listen to what parents have to say - especially if they have one or two older children and are speaking from experience.  Maybe even ring the education department in your state and talk to a child education facilitator or simlar.

I would think so long as he is not going to be a year older than everyone when he starts, keeping back the extra year will work in his favour in so manyw ays and you will be happy you made that choice for years to come!

Sharon

I'm thinking they are putting your boy into prep?  Our oldest started prep year this year, and was 4 when she started (turning 5).  I was surprised to learn that it is basically a glorified daycare centre for the first couple of terms, and the children have a nap/quiet time.  Our girl loves it, and being close to the end of the year, is starting to do more academic learning in preparation for year 1 next year.  Our 2nd child will be starting prep next year, and will be 4(turning 5) and I can't wait for her to go and drive the teachers nuts with her climbing! lol.

You can have him go for a couple of days a week to begin with and prep is not yet compulsory so the choice is yours.

My son has his birthday in May and I tossed up the idea of him going to school from 4.5yrs instead of waiting the extra yr and sending him at 5.5 yrs for the whole of the year prior to him being of the age.  He was in preschool and he was socially able to fit into school life, he physically could of too I think but emotionally and mentally I wasn't so sure.  He was able to count to 30, he could rote say certain things and seemed capable but he couldn't hold a pen properly, he couldn't/wouldn't learn to look at letters of the alphbet and learn them and I just didn't feel in my heart he was ready.

In the end I did hold him back - as did MANY other parents with children in the same 'age' situation and now he is in Kindergarten - he is the oldest in his class - but I see that is an advantage.  He is capable to do many things and is seen as a leader and he is coping really well.  I look at some of the younger kids who did start at 4.5 and they still (even in term 4) seem too young emotionally and physically to be at school.  They don't cope as well in some situations and have more trouble listening and knuckling down in class when needed.  I didn't want my child to have to repeat a year either which worried me if I'd sent him at 4.5yrs.

Personally, I think all children should start a little later (age 5 or over) if their birthday falls in the middle of the year unless they are child prodigies who need to start school early.  Think not only about them being young now, but when they are in high school - yrs 11 & 12 and other kids are a yr older in their year and able to get their car licence or go out clubbing etc and how this may influence them. 

I don't know.. each to their own .. but I amde the right choice holding my son back and I won't regret it. Do what you feel is right for you but listen to preschool teachers or look at your child and really think hard about it. 

HI, I had the same thing with my daughter i Let my insticts take over and held her back. When they are that little bit older even a few months their concentration levels are higher and she was more than ready when i sent her to school. Just trust your instincts and go with that.

Take care

I think its up to you, if you feel he wont be quite ready then send him next year.  My oldest has his b'day in  May, and the cut off for enrolling is  April, so he didnt get to start school til the next year anyways, I dont think it did any harm.  They may be older than others in the grade but only by a couple of months.  Maybe you could try taking him for a visit to the health nurse and see what they think.  If he's in kindy I think he will be fine to wait til the next year.

Good luck