Hi there,

Not everything with your toddler needs to be about entertainment! My little one never cared what we did...yes she loves painting, playdough, "crafting"as she calls it, but the most important factor is that she is doing it with me! She doesn't care what she is doing as long as she is interacting with me. Once I got this, I involved her in everything. She helps put the powder in the washing machine and pushes the on button. She loves helping get dinner ready - cracking the eggs ( even if I do spend a while removng the egg shell) mixing things together, measuring things in cupfuls etc. She likes helping to clean - I give her a bucket of water and a cloth so she can help ( yes there are puddles, but I get things done and she enjoys chatting while we clean. She wants to help feed her pets and helps out. She loves helping in the garden...helping me plant the seeds, watering everything and picking the flowers, veggies etc. It can be frustrating as everything takes twice as long, but they learn so much from doing what they like best...being with you. All the time you are talking about things..measuring, life cycles, cause and effect, (language, essential mathematics and science concepts) If my toddler asks specifically to do something, then we do it ..eg: painting, but you don't have to fall into the trap of feeling like you are the entertainment centre to the detriment of all else. As long as they are included and you chat to them about the activity, you are doing a great job!!! The attention span of a toddler is not huge!!! If they get sick of helping with the washing after 5 minutes, give them some pegs and an empty bottle and ask them how many pegs they can poke inside, ask how many pegs they can clip around the edge of the washing basket ..... good fine motor skill development, help them count while they are doing it etc.... keep reading to them and singing nursery rhymes. These are two of the best things you can do with your children!!!!!! You are not a 'horrible MUm! The other thing you need to do so you can feel enthused is to take soem time for yourself!!!! Get a massage once a week, go for a walk with a friend ( sans cherubs....even for half an hour!) Leave cherubs with partner, Mum, Sister ( anyone you can trust!!!!) to do some grocery shopping ( tell you what, the first time I went shopping BY MYSELF after 2 years...I felt such a sense of freedom!!!!!!!! It was wonderful!!!!!!!

Take care and when that doesn't always work...take a deep breath!!

Best wishes!

Hi there

Don't stress!  We have all felt like that at some stage.  There is not a lot of structured activities you can do with them when they are so young, but you are already doing great things and just "being there" for them is reinforcing their sense of self worth and confidence.

The music and singing you are already engaging them in are great ways to grown the synapses in the brain and children learn more rapidly when 20/20 (you might need to check this beat for accuracy!) beat music is playing in the background softly.  When I was doing daycare, my CDO (child development liaison officer) told me how the Wiggles came to be.  She was at teachers college with them when they all started learning about how music improves learning - the Greg, Jeff, Anthony and Murray then veered off for form the Wiggles, and a whole new kids' entertainment industry was born.  I also had this confirmed by an elderly anunty of one of them I knew years ago.

There is no set time frame for activities with little ones - Generally, babies have an attention span of 5-10 minutes, 1yr olds 10-15 mins, 2yr olds 15-20 mins, and so on.  However, each child is different and no one knows their capabilities better than a parent.  Use your own intuition and if either child starts to look disengaged from an activity, stop and go back to it later or move onto something different.  It is more productive doing lots of 5-15 minute activities regularly than having one big chunk of play time each day.

For babies and under 1s I would suggest things like ...
-  Build block towers from tupperware or nesting (plastic) bowls.  Watch them knock it over and wait for you to rebuild it so they can knock it over again.  Boring I know, but then I realised this is one of the earliest lessons in "cause and effect" for a child.
-  Take out your saucepans and some plastic utensils and bang on them as you sing songs
-  Make a small house out of a packing carton.  Cut holes for windows leaving one side attached so they can be opened and closed.  You hide outside and and the little ones hide inside waiting for Mummy to appear at a window.  This gets their minds working on the "what comes next" path
-  When you are making your bed, let them sit or lay on it and cover them with the sheets.  They will aqueal with delight as the billowing sheet slowly comes down over them
-  Sit on a rug on the floor with babys' toys spread out.  Let him or her see you take one and hide it behind your back then when they are wondering where it has gone, pop it in front againa nd say "here it is"
 

For your toddler also try these activities, maybe whilst bub is sleeping:
-  Thread macaroni or cannelloni pasta onto thick string and make "jewellery" with it.  Take it one step further by soaking the pieces in food colouring first to brighten it up.  Or go to a craft shop and buy large colourful buttons with big holes in them.  This will improve "hand-eye" coordination and colour knowledge as you talk while you play.
-   make play dough at home.  Toddler can help you measure and pour.  Add 2 cups of plain flour to a saucepan with 1/4 cup of oil, food colouring and either fine salt or a bit of disinfectant (helps keep it fresh and germs at bay).  Mix well and keep mixing while cooking over a low heat until it starts to form a ball.  Turn of heat and remove to it can cool. IT WILL BE VERY HOT at this stage so don't let kids near it!!  When sufficiently cool (I poke ti with a knife to check heat level in middle) roll out until smooth.  If it is too sticky you might not have cooked it quite long enough. Use plastic cookie cutters to make nice shapes or pretend cakes and have a tea party with her dolls or stuffed toys.
-   Take out phone books and make stepping stones across your floor.  Mum steps on them in a series and toddler has to try and repeat the order.
-   Put chairs together in a single line and pretend you are going on an adventure.  Talk to toddler about the imaginary scenery as you "drive" along.  Take turns driving.  This helps build imagination and conversation skills
-  If you have a large glass door, spray the outside with shaving cream and a few drops of food colouring and finger paint.  This is great for summer, and you can then wash each other off from a bucket of water
-  Grow some flower seeds and let your toddler watch the flowers appear.  This will give her a sense of responsibility as she tends her "garden' and watches them grow, of course having to water them along the way.  Alternatively, grab some cheap bird seed at your supermarket and sprinkle some on a layer of wet cotton wool on a foam tray.  The seed will sprout within days so offers a fast result for impatient little ones!
-  Set out say 5 items on a tray.  Go through and talk about each one then tell the toddler to close his/her eyes while you remove 1 item and ask if they can tell what is missing.  Good for memory.
-  Take them walking in the rain or jumping in puddles just after it has rained.  Contrary to most peoples' belief - it is medically impossible to catch a cold from doing this unless the virus is already in your system.  Afterward, go home and take a nice bubble bath together then cuddle up and have a story or a nap.
-  Set up a corner or box at home to put your nature discoveries into and let them show visitors
-  Buy some scraps of good quality felt at a craft or habberdashery store then cut shapes out to make your own felt pictures.  Cover one side of a firm piece of cardboard with a sold colour as your base board.
-  Make cardboard shapes (animals, people, buildings, cars and trucks, etc) and let your child decorate them with fabric strips of different textures and colour and a bitof PVA glue.  Can be a bit messy but kids just love mess!!
-  Start building a scrap box - keep lids off containers of different sizes, scarps of fabric, tinsel, pipe cleaner, and generally anything you might think a toddler could "make something" with (jsut be careful of small items if your toddler is prone to enjoying a good od chew on small things!)

The key to keeping a toddler happy and building confidence is making sure the lesson behind each activity or game is small enough for them to achieve something from it.  Play time is the BEST learning for all ages from birth onwards, as they don't see the educational aspect of it and let's face it - what little kid doesn't like playing with a big kid?!!

Importantly, you don't need to spend every spare cent on the latest toy or craft activity as there is so much you can use around your home to achieve the same outcomes.  Plan one new activity everyd ay and before you know it the ideas will flow to you.  Most of the activities I ahve listed can start of in the simplest form, and as the children get older, just make them a bit more complex to suit the level of ability.

Continue what you are doing, lots of cuddle time in between playing and story reading, keep singing thos songs and you are doing a great job! 

As well as having 4 children of my own, I ran a daycare business for a couple of years (9 mth babies to 5 yo children) and was constantly having to invent new games or modify what I already knew. Feel free to message me if you want any specific ideas!

Sharon

Well it actually sounds like you are doing the right thing. Reading is great, singing is great.

It's hard to explain things to toddlers and the frustration might be cause your doing it all the time and need a little time to yourself,

If your bored try walking to the park, or just get out for a walk with them. Totem tennis is good. Bit hard for a toddler but you can play. It's fun.

Tea party games are good for little girls. You can interact a little bit as she plays on her own.

You'll start to see what they are interested in as they get older and work with that.

My boy who is 18 months loves to play catch atm, we get a little ball which he can carry in one hand, and we roll it along the floor and he loves chasing it, most of the other games he plays by himself. But this game last until he gets bored of it, basically you roll the ball past them on the ground, they then go and get them, if you wanted you could take it in turns with the older kids so u all get to roll the ball for the toddler. This will keep them happy and it isn't very hard nor tiring.

This will also encourage the kids to play together. It will also keep the toddler entertained for 1/2 hour to an hour. You could probably do this several times a day, you could play this inside or outside. So not only a sunny day game but a game you can play on rainy days.

Rewind and simplify everything... They don't care what you do, they just want to spend time with, and get attention from you.  Remember that you also deserve to enjoy the time playing with them and get lost in the moment.  Take pleasure in simple things, and don't worry about the outcome when you show them how to do something, the joy is in taking the time to do so.  Forget about the dishes, housework, bills and all that mundane stuff and loose yourself in their world with their shiny little eyes and their simple needs.  Reward yourself and let go, be a playmate at play time, not Mummy.

Personally, to me it sounds as if you are doing everything right.  It doesn't have to be endless hours of craft and activities!  Just a little each day and mix it up, do what you enjoy too.  Read some stories, do some craft, go to the park.....honestly i don't think that you have to be engaged 100% of the time with them, it is good for them to learn how to play by themselves too.  Sometimes, just being near each other; like outside in the backyard, is enough to feel connected.  Also a toddler will have a short concentration span so keep it short and simple!

My 3 yr old loves craft and has for over a year. We do playdough, painting (your can buy $2 pallets of dry paint that you add a wet brush to, not much mess), pipe cleaners (it's amazing what she makes with them). Sometimes I just get the craft box out and she explores what's in there and doesn't even make anything. Drawing with textas and cutting with scissors are special things she can only do with mum or dad.

Paper Mosaics - I give Lacey different coloured paper to cut up into small pieces. Then I draw a simple outline picture (flower, fish etc). Then we choose a section and cover it in glue and she sticks the little pieces to it. (It's more effective if each section is a different colour but it doesn't really matter)

I think many of us have had a similar problem. For me, it is the time factor, as i have a newborn to look after as well as 4 older kids.

If you believe you are lacking in imagination then you need to change your way of thinking.  Before you can be imaginative in your interactions with your children, you need to be imaginative and creative in yourself.  That is, you need to find away to express your creative and imaginative side (yes, you still have one) which will help you to be more imaginative with your children too.

A toddler is able to play with playdough under parental supervision of course, and it is fun for parents to play with too.  You could play together, and even get your younger one involved too (will get to that).  You could suggest something to make out of the playdough and then both make it and laugh or talk about the funny creations you come up with.  You could also get your toddler to make suggestions on what to make and follow them.  I don't know how old your baby is, but if you make your own playdough and she is old enough to sit up in a high chair, then she should be able to play along too.  Give her some to squish between her fingers.

Then there is painting or drawing too.  Much the same as above only has the potential to be messier! lol.  By being creative and imaginative, you stimulate the creative and imaginative center of your brain which makes it even easier for you to be creative or imaginative.

You could get pictures of animals or every day items that your children use and make up stories together, getting your toddler to help with the story.  It is always fun to see what they come up with and you will be surprised at how quickly they pick up on the game.

Cardboard boxes are great for kids.  You could build a 'house' and pretend to go visiting.  Your girls could teach you this one quite easily.

Keep up with the nursery rhymes and books, kids love them.

For 'supervised' activities, for a toddler and baby, I'd say after about 30 mins, it might be time to pack up.  Make sure you get them to help with the clean up and try to have it happen just before you are going to feed them to avoid those tantrums.

I know you probably don't get much time to yourself, but reading, writing or even art/craft projects will help you to build on your own creativity.  I find my creativity in writing and sewing mostly, but gain inspirations from tv, computer games and life in general to help with my own creativity.

You will get there with it all, and then you will see that you are not a horrible mum, just one that has to work on her own inner child a bit more.  When you get frustrated, then walk away and leave them to play for a while as long as you can still see them.  You could be folding washing and still be a part of the games at the same time.

Hi,

You don't sound like a horrible mum at all. You still interact with your children. Just little things like sitting down with them drawing and talking about what you are drawing is something my son and i love to do (he is 3). I cannot draw to save my life but it is something i am doing with him that he loves. Hubby and i have a good laugh when he gets home and sees my pathetic attemps to draw a truck.

Other things are playing with playdoh, cutting and pasting then hanging the pictures, lots of outside play. Most of the time toddlers can only stay on the one thing for about 15-20 minutes and that is if they are really enjoying themselves. My son and i were playing with playdoh yesterday when my daughter was sleeping, next thing i knew 1 hour had passed.

You sound like you might need some time out, is there anyone that can take your kids for a while and you do something for yourself. Even if it is just for a few hours.

Hope this helps,

Juzzy xoxoxo

Don't feel horrible I was the same.... 

My hubby is the one with the imagination, and for me it got easier as Francis got older.. I realized I let him lead the game and it was amazing thing things he would come up with.  He calls me Madam and I sit on the sofa and will take orders from me, like fish and chips, or spaghetti, and as the good little waiter he will... Or we play a game he made up himself or well any one can do it but for some reason he says maman play bonjour.. Basically he just gets two toys and we have a conversation with them...  About anything and everything, but he is usually the one in the lead...

Try taking the kids out back with a ball.. Kick the ball around, I found the more physical the games the better they my son slept at night and the less bord I was...

You say your toddler does not stay in one place long enough for a game, how about a game of hide and seek...  Or hide the toy,  and get your toddler to run around the house and find where you put it.

It took time but eventually I worked out how to do things with out getting annoyed or bored.. :)

Good luck xxxx

Oh also I forgot to add- when I was really little (toddler sort of age) I loved to play 'shops' and 'classrooms' where I woudl roleplay being a shopkeeper/shopper teacher/student with my dad or mum. I would also love to act out scenes from my favourite book which apparently all my relatives wanted to burn as they were SO sick of it. Kids love roleplay and toddler age is perfect to start it. Dress up boxes are the best also- I still love em

First of all- you are NOT a horrible mum- you're making an effort and trying to do the right thing-that makes you an excellent and caring mum.

My little one is 9 months so is a bit little for the kind of games you could play with toddlers. I encourage him to play on his own- to self amuse with toys-mainly loud things he can bang on. Even though he is not quite crawling yet I have him in a (very large) play pen. I want him to understand that this is 'his' space where he is safe and can play  with his toys and his little friends when they come over. Funnily enough for all the 100's of $ my family/friends etc have spent on buying him toys his favourite toy is a 'drum' I made him out of a tin with the lid securely taped on and curtain rings inside

When we 'play' together it is usually for half hour blocks where I will sit down on the floor with him or he'll come up and sit with me- we play 'peek a boo', tickling games, building towers out of toys and then knocking them over, rhythm games where I bang out a rhythm with my hands on a table or flat surface and he copies, and a long bathtime everyday where we play splashing in the water and he waves around his collection of face washers.

For your toddler-can they draw? My dad taught me to draw as soon as I could hold a crayon and it kept me entertained for hours.