I am 16, If it was me I wouldnt tell her that would ruin everything and she would stop trusting everyone and wouldnt tell them anything so then u wouldnt know anything i think u should just keep it to yourself so she can have someone she can trust and not keep everything locked up inside.

hi don't  let your child know that her nan has broken her trust all children need to know that there is someone that the can talk  to about anything if its not you than feel happy its her nan and not someone that you don't know that could could give her bad advice

trust your child to do the right thing give her as much information as possible and if the wrong choice is ever made let your child know that you are there for them no matter what they do right or wrong remind them that you were there age at one time and that you Had to make the same decisions from time to time and remember always let your child know that your proud of them for just being the person they are  we must always take the good with the bad because we love them

That is great that your daughter is comfortable enough to talk to somebody about things like this.  It shows that she feels comfortable enough with her Nan to discuss such things.  I know that you probably prefer her to come to you, but at her age, she probably doesn't want to put you under extra stress etc.  Teens can be very thoughtful sometimes, usually when we want them to tell us these sorts of things! lol.

In you situation now, I would be telling her how proud I was that she left her boyfriend because he was pressuring her to have sex.  I would also tell her how proud I was of the fact that she wasn't ready to have sex, that is a big step in life to take and one that can lead to stresses that our teens just don't need or know how to deal with.

Without breaking her confidence, just say that 'a little birdie told me', guaranteed if she told her Nan, then she has probably told some of her friends too, so she won't know which little birdie it was and the confidence between your daughter and her Nan is kept.  Warning, I do not guarantee that it will work, but is worth a try.

My daughter did the same thing, I am proud too. Luckily she told me. I think Nan should have got her permission to tell you, I don't like covert communication in families because.....I don't see why she should trust Nan if nan runs off and tells someone else ? That's teaching her to place her trust in people who aren't worthy of her trust. I think I would have a talk to my mother and ask her to ask your daughter if it is ok to tell you because you would be so proud and etc etc etc....and that might sort the whole thing out with the least damage to all.

DONT break the trust... It seems as though your daughter has found someone reliable to confide it. This is most important for teenagers.

Perhaps Nan can relay a message that she thinks you would be really proud of her decision.

Other than that, like the other comments suggested find other ways of letting her know you are proud of her.

I agree with Misty Dawn, find other ways of showing her that you trust her and are proud of her...

DO NOT break her trust with her Nan....This was done to me as a child and it is not pleasant....You want her to always be able to talk to someone and if she knows her talks have been passed on that can really hurt...and make it hard to trust in the future..

Be Proud on the inside as you have done an excellent job...She is talking to someone she feels safe with and she has said NO!!! This is Fantastic and will have lots of effect from how you have raised her...

Cheers Spinnychic

well, I dont really think there si a way.  if you Try to have a sex talk with her she will suspect that you were told... adn then seh will be reluctant to tell any one anything and thats teh last thing you want... Im sure!  ??   My advise is to just  show her that you trust her more now... maybe extend her curfew or let her stay up later if she has a bed time, let her knwo that she is becommign a young woman adn it will soon be time to make all kinds of decisions on her own with out your help...   let her know that you have compleat faith in her to make the right ones, but be very careful, since you do knwo what is going on, Im sure she will be on edge wondering if you were told and you dont want to push her away!

Sorry its not much help, but I would liek to knwo how you finally decide to handle it!  maybe send me an email so I knwo what works!

hope it goes well!

Is it possible to tlak to her about this guy?  or even have a 'sex' talk and sort of encourage her for being her own person and knowing her own mind. 

Then if she tells you within this context you can outright tell her how proud you are, or if not at least she knows you are proud of her and the young lady that she is growing up to be ...

This way she gets the message, even if you cannot say it as clearly as maybe you want to and without breaking any confidences.  All the best with that, sounds like you have a fine daughter there!

Peace
EF.x