Well good for you!  Taking a stand against family is sometimes one of the HARDES things we can do - for risk of upsetting and insulting them.  But at this point you and your husband, and I would hop, your family, must make YOU the focus and do everything they all can to support you.  It might be a good idea to have your specialist speak with your family and help them understand what is needed from them?

Your family must also take into consideration that you DO NOT want to be separated from your babies, and that this will cause you more stress of a different kind.  Stress is the last thing cancer patients need, as it will prevent the body from working to its' full capacity in healing you and fighting the disease.  But sometimes families, who are suffering their own distress and anxiety due to someone they love being so ill, think they are offering the right help when it is not what you want or need.  Maybe that was their way of saying "we are scared for you, and want to help but we don't know how"?

I also take my hat off to you for sharing this with your kids.  There is no point pretending everything is normal and ok when it is not - kids have the amazing ability to read between the lines!  so long as, as you said, they are told in a non-scary way, I think you have done the right thing.

As for your sister and her husband.  If they have no kids, can your sister not stay with you a few days each week to help out?  Is she close by?  That way you can still be parenting and be involved in your kids lives and adctivities, but not bare the full load.

Blessings to you all     Sharon

I have asked my Father, Brother, and Sister to go with me to one of my appointments so they can see whats being done and in hopes they will understand more and not be so scared of me dieing.  Needless to say they decided against it all.  My sister and brother have only had one chance to go with me to a appointment, they are both in the Navy and have been serving our country over seas.  My sister and brother came for a visit, my sister went home to California, my brother sadly was sent right back to shore duty in Iraq!  My father lives litterally blocks away, but stays away for the most part.  My mother past away when I was 7....my daughters age, my sister was 9, my brother was 5, our little half sister just turned one the month our mother died.  My guess on them is that its flash back to our younger days lossing our mother.  I guess thats why they want the kids so if I should die they wont have to see it take place as we did.  I am at a lost for words about my family, my illness has pulled us apart instead of bringing us closer.  You may be right, it may be their way of showing fear of the unknown, and at a lost of what to do.  My father picks the kids up ever so often and takes them to do fun stuff, and dont get me wrong that helps out alot, he helps buy school clothes, and other things they may need knowing my medical bills are killing us very slowly!!!, that two is a big help, my siblings call randomly checking up on me and the kids, sending little gifts to the kids here and there, i even get some of those  herbal oil rubs and other soothing things to help calm me, which helps out too.  My brother pays for a person to come clean the house once a week so things dont pill up on us to much!  And that help a whole lot, so my family does help in their own way, but they are not very good when it comes to showing feelings and comfort.   The truth is I would give all that up for the chance to have my family by myside during a treatment, or another long hospital stay.  They throw money hopeing thats enough when I need them not the money more then anything.  I have tried telling them, my husband has tried telling them that I really need them at the hospital to no avail.  So its all just a big mess of emotions coming from me, and a block of those emotions from my family.  Wish I knew how to bring that wall down.  I also pray my family don't rub off on my kids and they place a wall up to.  My two kids are very loving, caring, very open kids.  Its only recently the problems arrose.  I guess thats why I am so lost about this whole situation!!!!

Greatly Appreciative of the support!!!!!!

Rebecca

Thank you for listening to my worries and fears, its nice to be able to get them out in the open to someone who will actually listen!!!  Thanks so veryu much!!!!

Thank you all for all your help, my husband and I had a very long talk about all this and we decided to put both kids in some type of group or couseling sessions.  We feel that as time goes on I tend to get more tired and the kids seem to responed to it badly.  So putting them in a group is the best thing we can think of.  My family is well aware of my problems and now well aware of my kids attiutde change and seem to think I need to allow my sister and her husband to take them until I am better.  Well for one they have no kids, two like it or not my kids are what keeps me alive and fighting.  I find it outrageous my family can basicly say in not the same words, that I am a bad mom for being sick and I need to allow my sister and her husband to take them so they can be kids and not worry about having a sick mom.  My children do know I am sick and they know whats going on with all my appointments, I am a firm believer that your kids should know everything you do, only in ways that wont scare them and they can understand.  So last night after several upsetting phone calls from my family about what took place with my daughter, my husband and I decided to put them in group and tell my family they can support us and the kids when we need them there for us the most or they can step out of our lives because I dont needed added stress of my family saying I am doing wrong by my children!!!!!!  We are doing the best we can with what has hit us!  And I will forever be those kids mom wheather I am sick or not!!!!!! 

Sorry I know this isn't much of a Thank you for your support, or update, its more me venting about what took place last night.  But please know I do appreciate all your help and support, maybe my family can learn from you!!!!!

Thank you for your help.  Both my children are aware of my health problems and understand them the best a child can.  I have had cancer for over a year now with no end in sight so far.  Since my husband works many hours I have my kids almost everyday to myself. (they are with their grandpa right now)  My children attended a special group session with other kids that have a parent with cancer and they taught them all about what is happening to our bodies and the many treatments I have.  However I am not sure how much a 5 and 7 year old can really understand.  I read to them nightly, we cook dinner together when I am able to, and lay and watch movies together when I am unable to get up.  As for the friends and tutoring part.......well I just dont know.  I am afraid that my illness has forced my kids to grow up real fast and this is her way of saying she just wants to be a kid with no worries.