This sounds really familiar to me. The way I tackled the problem was by trying to talk to my partner, because trying to reason with the step kids was futile. They'd just say, "You're not my Mum, I don't have to do what you say." It really should be up to they're father to tell them what is acceptable and what isn't. I tried to reinforce that our youngest, (who was being unfairly treated) hadn't asked to be put in this situation and it wasn't fair that he was made to feel second rate. I think that my partner was feeling alot of guilt about not being able to make his marriage work and hurting his daughter (and she never let him forget it), so he'd let her get away with murder and pushed his youngest away in order to please her. I worked really hard at helping him through his guilt. It took a bit of time but it really did help. 

Maybe you need to reinforce to your husband that they are his daughters and by giving them some rules and boundaries it will not make them stop loving him, but letting them get away with murder will not make them respect him.

All the best,

Leanne08.

I may be a bitch here but you need to sit down with all of the kids and your partner and show a united front that this behaviuor is not on at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your partner needs to stand up and not allow it and it's a bloody cop out that he wont. it is not fair on your child to be harrased and when she gets back at them it'ss the end of the world.... stand up and dont allow this kids to push you around, get out some paper and pens and  have a family meeting all together and (with kids imput) make a list of house rules that are for your house and  a punishment when not followed. be strong . good luck.

There is not much I think you can do/say! I think it depends on what type of relationship you have with your step children and how old they are?(teenagers are a lot harder to deal with I have one that has 2 step sibblings and she can be horrid to them!) This is something your partner can only solve he needs to explain to his other children that he loves them just as much as your 3 year old and that nothing can replace them this needs to be done one on one and maybe your partner can do something special with each of them alone while they are visiting... could be as simple going for a walk to the park and a casual chat on the way followed by a few laughs and maybe topped of with an ice cream, just so they can see that they can feel like that they are number one as they prob see your daughter as a threat!

hi

Its hard to know how to react with step children my husband finds it difficult to say the least. I think maybe that your daughters father needs to have a little talk to them by himself with them and just have a chat (a nice chat lol) about  what he expects them to do as he is their father and how even though they don't live with them all the time that it is still their home also, just not as often and that even though he doesn't see them every day he still loves them just as much and also has the same authority over them when they are around just like any other dad (of course adapted to their age level when they are comfortable and not upset).

 It may also be easier if you both don't agree to let him take over the "discipline" as much as possible and let him use the authority he should have over them as a father and you could maybe let him know you think that it more his responsibility to make sure all his children are treated by him fairly.  I hope this may also take some pressure off your shoulders if you are getting a bit stressed