Hi, Im a dad who is surrounded by two gorgeous girls, and my wife as well as the dog who is a bitch. I also grew up with four older sisters plus my mum, so I know how it feels to be the minority within a household. Now to the question at hand, my wife and I have simular problems as would pretty much every couple with kids, and like most male or female, there is no co-operation as too ones own view, from the partner, so what I do is this, if my wife is first on the scene she's in charge and I'l haveto suport her decission even if I dont like it. If I 'm first on the scene, as I am mostly, as my wife lets me get there first (funny that, seems Iam the bad guy), then I sort it out, and most of  the time my wife suports me. There is the occassional time when I'm dealling with a situation, that my wife, sort of interfers (her 2 bits worth), but I ignor it as one would with unwanted behavour, she then sees the outcome I am attempting to acheive and allows me to finish with her support. Most of the time we then talk a little about it, to try to stay consistant

Give it a go (especially the ignoring part, its a power thing)

I posted my first reply without adding an example of what I mean in regard to me and my partner ....

Say one of the kids is caught watching television after school, or if they back chat (which kids are prone to do) he will straight aways say "right - not TV or electronic games for one month".  In my opinion that is rather execessive and is really ahrd to adhere to.  Ok, I agree, a consequence is needed, but that is a bit heavy handed.  Maybe if they deliverately smashed a window it would be a fitting punishment.  But he does things like this constantly without discussing with me first and sometimes I will ask the kids to leave while I talk to him about it, but sometimes I will just jump to their defence in front of them - which I know I shouldn't do!

Try making a contract together.  Sit down and make a list of what you feel is reasonable in the way of rules for your kids and what that adults should agree on and why.  Ask your partner to do the same.  Then when there are no kids around (even within earshot as they seem to have radars for what they shouldn't be hearing!) sit down together and discuss your lists and expectations, and the outcomes of doing each thing two different ways.  Be prepared to compromise so that you both feel like you are being heard and have a say.

I tried this with my hubby years ago but he just thinks his way is best and that's all there is to it so unfortunately our kids see us disagree in front of them a bit - which is not good in any case but especially if your kids are good manipulators and use that division to play one parent against the other  (thankfully, mine aren't so that's one worry I don't have)