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2BeautifulGirls
2BeautifulGirls | November 2008

What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

My 6 yo daughter came home from school today and asked me if she was thin, what?  Apparently her friend told her that she wasn't thin but herself and the other girls were.  I told my daughter that there are all different body shapes and she is by no means fat (I didn't use that word).

I knew this day would come (I have girls) but I didn't think it would be so soon.  How should I handle this?   Should I talk to her teacher or her friends mother?  I don't know how to handle this, please help



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Kymmy1
November 2008 | Kymmy1
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

Hey there, I think probably just a lot of positive reinforcement from you is all she needs! Teach her to be confident in herself and to believe that she's awesome and it will give her the strength to ignore criticism from others. I see from the picture that she is a beautiful little girl, i have a 5 yo little girl, and i just keep telling her all the time how beautiful, smart and sweet she is and she seems to be developing a healthy amount of self respect! Good luck!



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MandyW
November 2008 | MandyW
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

kids can be cruel sometimes, but maybe the friend didnt mean it like that, but i think eitherway u should just have a word with the teacher, just in case. my aunt always told us to say "i'm built for comfort not for speed" i was a bit chubby as a child as well. after my girls, i lost 56 lbs. my sister, who is 18, has also been big built and was always teased a school, but i've always admired her for her personality, she's always been so positive and would've let anything get her down. her comment was always "i'm happy with the way God made me, if you are not, that is your problem. maybe you should pray that He gives you self esteem" i admit she took it too far at times. once somebody insulted her and told her that she is way too fat, her response? "i can loose weight in a heartbeat, but as long as you carry on the way u do, u'll remain ugly inside and out, coz what's inside, reflects on your physical" i was stunned. i'm not suggesting that she goes to these extremes, but the best u can do, is to give your daughter the love and support she need



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MrsSanders
November 2008 | MrsSanders
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

Talk to the Teacher Hun, I did and it helped. I also got lots of pictures of children and sat down with Ruth and showed her the reason why  people are different shapes and sizes. We talked about what beauty really is and what really is important when looking at each other.

As she has gotten older we talk about body image and the down side of advertising and pressure to conform. Ruth is now very confident about her body and now that she has lost the baby weight she is far from being the chubby little girl she was.

Ruth and now Caty, held on to her Baby weight a tad longer than there friends, runs in our family,LOL

However by the time she was 7yrs she was actually a lot slimmer than the girls that were taunting her!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However thats by the by.

No point in speaking to the parents, it may either get them upset at you, or the idea of thin/ fat could come from home in the first instance in which case your flogging a dead horse, if you get my drift.

You could use the photo section of minti to look at pictures of children and see the beautiful diversity of kids, and how they all delevelop at different ages and stages,LOL.

I will post a pick of Ruth for you as a six year old and a seven year old, so your Daughter can see the futility in looking at peoples weight to judge them if that helps.

The school also has real Models come in for SPI (Social and Persoanal Interaction) all different shapes and sizes. They showed us how, their photographs were altered for publication and all were made to look much thinner than in real life.

Don't be afraid of being open, knowledge even in youngsters is a tool to confidence.

I also looked at a picture of your Daughter, and what a stunning little girl she is. It is such a shame that parents have to deal with this sort of thing at any age.

Best Wishes. Luv Winnie.xxxx

 



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winja
November 2008 | winja
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

are u certain they were making fun of her or could they have been just making an observation? kids are pretty outspoken and often dont find politically correct words maybe they were just looking at each other and noting differences/ similarities?



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llmunchkin
November 2008 | llmunchkin
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

Well she obviously has a strong physique and was built for survival... Why on earth would she want to be thin?  Everyone is built differently and everyone is good at different things.  We need all builds and all skills to function efficiently as a community.

I would disregard the fact that she isn't thin, (if she isn't) and concentrate on all the great things that make her, HER. What is unique and special and wonderful about her?  I bet that between the two of you, you can think of heaps of things... How will her individuality help her to achieve the things that she wants in life? 

Give her a very strong sense of self and an understanding that while other people are entitled to their opinions, only she can live her life and decide what is true and what isn't true about HER. 



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Mintythistle79
November 2008 | Mintythistle79
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

Your question brought tears to my eyes....I was 6 when I first started having body image problems and it all unravelled from there...it is only since I have had my baby that I am finally at peace with my body.

It is obviously a very sensitive issue to be dealt with very carefully. I would get a whole lot of pictures of athletes-particularly women netballers who have fantasticly muscular yet realistic bodies, curvy models, pictures of yourself, your mum, other female relatives if possible and point out how they are all different, yet healthy and beautiful. Also, if you get the question "Am I thin" from her again or when the subject comes up- turn it around- ask her if she eats healthy, nourishing food, what are some of the excellent things that her body does, doesn't it feel great to get out of bed in the morning and feel good- and emphasise that this is ALL that matters. The fact that she is pretty is nice, and keep telling her that because she is, but it isn't as important as the other things. Emphasise that her beauty is a bonus- a healthy body is PRICELESS.

Yes- talk to the teacher and ask him/her to address body image as part of their health classes. My father is a school teacher and in the past he had a child who was 8 (can you imagine) who had an eating disorder. Head it off at the pass before it becomes an issue.

Good luck hun



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mystikal
November 2008 | mystikal
Re: What should I do? My 6 yo was told she's not thin

You have a beautiful little girl. If she were older I would tell her to say well "Well being thin obviously doesn't make you smart does it?" haha but since she's only 6 years old maybe talk to her teacher and she could lead you in the right direction or maybe even educate the kids that it's not okay to make somebody feel different because it can hurt their feelings. I probably wouldn't approach her friends mother because well.. to be honest nobody likes to hear that their child is in the wrong. It would probably be best coming from her teacher.



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