My husband and I are looking at falling pregnant in the new year. By the time the baby would be born our son would be approximately 18months old. We need to have complete our family soon as my mother who is deceased went through menopause at 34 and I will be 34 next year. I was wondering if anyone felt that if they had 2 children close together that they would miss out on valuable one on one time and did you feel as though you were split between the 2. I love spending as much time with my son as possible but with 2 children it would be very different. I guess you would get used to it. I am an only child and do not want my son to be one.
My husband and I have a twenty month old, and are 3 months pregnant for number 2. I think its perfectly normal to wonder how to juggle everything. I too am and only child and want to make sure that each child has the same experiences. My hubby comes from a family of 4 and thinks only children have it made. But we still feel that our daughter will benefit from having a sibling and our family with naturally adjust. I guess you go day to day, sleep less and make time special time for each when you can.
I had our second 4 months ago and you do find time to be with both together and individually, it just happens! Admittedly other things do get left, I find myself tidying in the evening when they are asleep but it's better that way. Best of luck!
Hi completely understand your concerns. I have five children my oldest is 6, then 5, 4, 2, and 5 months sometimes it can be difficult to find one on one time but I ve found that involving them all when we welcomed a new addition was the best way to overcome feelings of jealously and my husband and I take turns doing special things with each child regularly but as difficult as it sometimes gets due to fact that you only have 24hrs in day :) we have managed to always have time for our little family together and individually, your already half way there because you are conscious of it before baby arrives. I m sure you ll be fine and so will your little boy.
Hi Kirstie, I have 4 babies, 1st 2 are 18months apart (girl/boy) then a 3 yr gap between the 2 bubs but they are 11months, 3 weeks and 5 days apart! Same again(girl/boy). I do find myself stretched abit, am still breastfeeding the 2 bubs but I wouldnt have it any other way. My kids all get on so well, there are fights but not big ones, just kids being kids, they always look out for eachother and are loving caring kids. I have a sis and a bro and my mum looked after her brothers 2 children so there are 5 of us and we are close as well.
You will find time between your babies, being a mum and multi tasking goes hand in hand. Good luck and hope all goes well.
my first 2 are 1/2 an hour apart, so it doesn't get much closer!!
it sounds like you have thought through the potential issues with having children closse together, and i am sure you will be an aware and attentive mother to 2 children, no matter how close they are.
there are increased risks with having a baby as an older mother (past the age of 35) such as higher chance of birth complications, higher rates of c sec, increased chance of genetic defects such as downs syndrome, increased infertility issues and erratic or multiple egg release. With this in mind, it may be better to try sooner rather than later anyway. There are many benefits to having children close together, and i am sure you will find out for yourself.
first off, just cause your mum went through something doesnt mean u will. u have a 50/50 chance at that, but in saying this I was the same age as my mum when I had to have a hysterectomy. genes plays the game there.
second. My kids are 23 months apart and I wouldnt have it any other way. My SIL has her 2 kids 18 months apart and she loves it. (they are thinking of more too.)
it all depends on how you treat your kids and how u are at coping after the birth, possible PND and etc...... all the side factors are the biggest ones. I was pretty good after the birth of my daughter so have 2 under 2 was good until my daughter turned months and I was told I couldnt breastfeed her, PND set in and i slopped down from there. Now they are almost 7 &5 and at school. they are really close together and sleep in the same room.
personally i think having kids close together is great.
Time is precious, but if you want to have a second child don't dwell on it just do it. You will work it out. No matter what the age difference the family dynamics change for better and for worse.
I have two girls four yrs apart and the same dilema applies. Where there is more than one child that individual one to one has its restrictions, but its love and security that really means most at the end of the day,LOL.
My sister and I are one year six weeks apart in age and cat fights were inevitable as teens as we are both strong characters,LOL and were seeking our own individuality. However we were very close then and even closer now. Our lovely Mum treasured us for our differences and loved us equally, something she reinforced for us all the time and reiterated strongly the day before she died.
I honestly think it was my Brother who perhaps missed out on the one to one with Mum most, but he had a very strong bond with her, he was three yrs younger than I. He does'nt feel like he missed out though and we all have a strong bond, and that came from the love and security provided by our parents.
4, 3, 2, and 4 months and i dont feel split between them i actually think its a good thing they are close together because when they go to school they will basically be in a year apart from each other and watch out for the others
i myself have 4 sibling and we are a year apart and i loved it
as long as you have love it will be enough for both of them trust me ........... enjoy
Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.
