all you can really do is tell them how you feel .i have the same problem .

my family lives over seas adn i get to chat with them once a week if iam luvky yet my husbands family who lives 30 minutes away wont even visit and they give us excuses .its very hurtful when people specially family menbers do that cause in the end the kids are the ones that suffer.

have a good chat to them i wish you good luck

When we lived in the city for 18 months, we were 3 hours from my parents. I think mum and dad came up once or maybe twice in that time, and we went down there about 4 times. It didn't bother me at all cause I talked with them on the phone regular. You would be surprised just how much time running your own buisness takes, even if your mum does only work 2 and abit days they always have more to do at home as fare as book work, calls and erands. I wouldn't give up. Are you working? does your mum let you stay the night when you are there? maybe just continue on the way it is. Life is so very busy these day's and you obvioulsy have more time than your parents do if you are wanting to see them more and have the time to, so you may have to visit them if you want to see them more.

I'm in the same position as you, only no inlaws close by.  my parents live 2 hours away from us, and are better able to come up to see us as we have 5 young children and no car as yet (that is coming by the weekend though!!!!).

Yet they have made me feel bad with them saying that they don't get to see our girls as much as they would like and that we should be at least making an effort.  Not easy to drag 5 fidgety kids onto a train only to be thrown off it again due to them not being able to sit still!

My partner, who is ever a wise owl, told me to think of this in a different way.  'He told me to see it as a sign that they are very happy that my life is going in the right direction and that they don't feel the need to be interferring in my life or the need to worry.  He's right of course, because my life is pretty good and things are always getting better, which is always a relief to my parents when I tell them so.

Hun, you have your own family now, and they need you more.  Please don't let it get to you as it isn't worth the heartache.  You live your life, let them live theirs, and if you are able to make your paths cross from time to time, then take those opportunities.

Every mum wants her own mum around from time to time, but that is usually a seeking approval thing and honestly, we don't need the approval from our parents any more as we have left the nest and made our own way in the world.

Wow I just asked the exact same question a couple of days ago. Both my in-laws and my mum live within 5 minutes of each other and only a 15 minute drive from my house. I used to see the in-laws every weekend, every Saturday and Sunday and they would pester me about seeing Jesse all the time. I have since had a falling out with the in-laws which is a shame but there's nothing I can do about that. As for my Mum she NEVER comes to see me and she only lives a 15 minute drive away!!! What makes it worse is she expects me to come to her but it would take me 2-3 buses and an hour trip each way as I don't have a licence and my hubby uses my car for work. Not to mention how hard it is carrying a screaming toddler, a nappy bag, a stroller and my handbag all onto the bus!! Her excuse now is she works full time but she has only had this job for about 2 months now. Before that she used to work part time (25 hours a week) and only 5 minutes from my house but still she never came to visit!! I also realised the other day that Mum hadn't even seen my house decorated for Christmas - that's how little she visits. I don't know why she does it. It annoys me and upsets me but I just can't reason with her. Some Minti members when answering my question said it might be due to how young my mum is and that she wasn't ready for grandchildren yet but she's 54 and I wasn't going to wait until I was in my 30's to start having children! All up she's probably only babysat my son (who turns 2 next month) about 3 times and only for 2 hours at a time (and I'm not exaggerating either). Last night she was supposed to watch him for an hour because my hubby and I had an appointment. She said it was fine and I'd been reminding her all week and when we turned up at her house nobody was home. I rung her and she said she'd completely forgotten. So I then had to drive my son to my Nan's house and we were 15 mins late for the appointment grrrrrrr!! So I totally understand how you feel hun!! I thought I would be an important part of her life too since having her first grandchild but it just hasn't turned out that way. I could understand if I was an irresponsible mum or expected too much of her but I am the complete opposite. Since having my son he has only left my side for one night and other than that he is with me 24/7. When my Mum has watched him those 3 times for 2 hours it's so me and hubby can catch a movie. I don't ask much of her but she makes me feel like I do. At least be grateful that you have your in-laws. I know it's not the same but I don't have either now and it can get very lonely. Especially if you want at least a couple of hours alone with your hubby every once in a while. If you find something that works with your mum please let me know as so far i still can't convince my mum to make the effort. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I had a boy instead of a girl but maybe I'm just imagining things! I hope I've helped. At least now you know someone who is going through the EXACT same thing as you! I would love for you to add me as a friend :o) and sorry for the long reply!!

Love Samantha xox

If I were in your situation this is how I would handle things. I would go visit her then on that visit explain that you're happy where you are so you're not moving closer. And you're annoyed that she expects you to drive all that way (which you think is annoying too but still do it to see her) but she wont do the same for you. It's not fair, it's not equal. So it's her turn to come down to see her grandchildren next. I would tell her you're taking it in turns and if she takes too long, well then it's going to be a very long time before it's your turn again. She probably tells you she wont drive because she knows you will give in and drive to her out of frustration. Keep to your word. If she wants to be a lazy grandparent then she can also be a lonely grandparent. If she hates driving then get her husband to drive.