I am not sure of what you should do but... I was once a 15 year old girl who was dating a 18 year old guy and i know that the more my parents said no the more I wanted to date him... once they left me alone I realized I did not even like him, apparently I was attracted to the fact that he ticked my parents off. 

If I were you I would try to show her that you respect her decisions and will support her no matter what, accept the boy into your home and treat him nice, if she is serious about him he might not be a bad thing, If she is dating him to piss you off it will fizzle out quick, as long as neither of you get pissed off. 

So is your husband planning on locking your daughter in the basement?   You as a woman know as well as I do that is the only way he will stop her dating anyone she wants to.

You need to make your husband understand this and then you need to make your husband understand something else.  The only way you can manipulate their relationship, if you see a need to, is if you invite them into your family and by them I mean him and his family.

 I'm not sure  your husband's problem is the age difference as much as it is another male figure in his daughters life. You could try explaining it your husband that wouldn't it  be better if we had  her BF around and involved with the family than her going behind our back and seeing him.

talk to your hubby about this, tell him if he doesnt support her feelings then whose to say next time she goes behind the back,  invite the lad over, get to know him like another mother said get your daughter to find something that her dad and her "bf" have in common, could be fishing, motor sport ect.

you hubby needs to know that his little girl is becoming a woman and he needs to release her a little.  also speak to your daughter and let her know you hubs feelings about this boy, get her to talk to hub and explain to him that she will always be his little girl, and no one else will ever replace him in her eyes, but he needs to let her find herself as a young lady.

good luck

OMG that was me when I was 15yrs old,LOL. My Dad said no way with some choice words about men being beasts and out for one thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Banned me from seeing B who was 18yrs old.

As I stood there with my Jaw on the floor my mother said "Well then you wont be going back to school"!!!!!!!! We went to the same school,haha.

Your Dad will hand in his notice and home school you to ensure you never see this lad again and dont inadvertantly go against your fathers wishes. Then she walked out of the room leaving my Dad's jaw on the floor spluttering about being pedantic LOL

Then later she asked me discretely to invite the lad round while my Dad was home. She said talk to the lad, find common interests so that the lad can chat to your Dad.

B agreed to come visit and was well aware of my Dads objections but was still willing to face the old puritan,LOL

In the end my Dad respected that. So my first "Date" consisted of B and my Father discussing the finer details of pannel beating and the over ornamentatin of triplets and couplets in a waltz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I loose my virginity to B? Yes, but not untill I was 19yrs old. See we were both mature enough to know what was right for us and also mature enough to understand the values given us by our Parents, that I think was part of the mutual attraction at the time! We went our seperate way's when I was 23yrs, my choice.

If this lad is willing to meet Dad then arrange it, before mutual trust is lost between Daughter and Father. I was a girl who respected my Parents wishes and abided by their rules.

On this one though I would have gone against the grain, if my Dad did not trust my judgement when I have shown myself to be open, honest and sensible, then why should I trust his judgement, after all it is partly his values I follow and use to guide me and if he thinks their flawed, well, hmmm.

Show your husband the responses to your question if he is open minded enough, it might help him to see the danger in his stance.

Dispite my Fathers claims that all men are beasts and out for one thing, it turns out HE was a virgin at age 28yrs when he married my Mum, so not all young men are out for one thing, sometimes they just like the girl and wish to get to know her better,LOL.

I think I my Hubby would welcome the lad willing to face the Parents, it would show maturity and respect, which is really all you can ask for at any time.

Luv Winnie.xxxx

I agree with most of the other comments that have been made.Yes,Yes Yes,keep the communicationlines open,talk about everything,even if it's embaressing and weird for her to hear.tell your husband ,if he pushes ,he will lose her.And yes have the boy over,simple as watching a movie,in your very open lounge area under supervision,having a bbq together,Keep it casual.Or sharing time on the computer together,at your house.Do you know his parents?Can they do the same?Or specified time at some public place,being dropped off and collected by you.Good luck.And yes ,do the mother/daughter sex talk.Forewarned is forearmed as they say.Gosh don't I sound old now.

this is a hard one, i dont have teenage children but i do remember when i was your daughters age and wanted to date an older guy. there is no harm meeting the guy and if he is man enough to meet you and your husband then then you can make the dissision whether its ok for them to date. she might rebel if you dont set some rules down and wont let her see him. best of luck.

my advice to you is .1 she is to young but if they indeed want to date then maybe have an agrement that for the first couple of years or until she turns 18 she dates this boy under surprevision.

so when they want to go out together they must have an adult present ,and he can always come and see her at your place .

this way they can still date but nothing bad can happen like him trying to make a move on her at such a young age .

you dont want to have a pregnant girl at 15-16. or him forcing her to do anything she dont want to do .i tend to agree with your husband in a way but if this was my daughter i would be doing it this way .and if they did not like it then tough ,its your wy or no way .

it worked in the older days and it worked for me .

if they are trully commited then they will agree.3rd wheel is a safe wheel.if you work then maybe a friend or keep to him coming to see her at your place ,if they are in her room then door stays open .

1. Dating does not mean sex. It means either a) being a "couple" in an official social sense, or b) not being together per se but using that time to get to know each other.

2. If he really cares about her and her best interests, sex won't even be an issue until she is both of legal age and ready for it in her own time.

3. His being a little older has the added advantage of a little more maturity and the ability to "look after" her.

When I was 16 I was dating a 22 year old and he kept me out of a world of trouble, and my parents were most grateful to him for that. I've since (as I've gotten older, now 36) dated guys that were 12 years older than me to 8 years younger than me, and learned that age has nothing to do with maturity level and whether or not someone is worth even knowing let alone dating. I can say from experience in having friends that vary in age from 17 to 57 that there are 18 year olds out there that are more mature and sensible than some 50 years olds I've known!

If she was 21 and dating a 24 year old it wouldn't be an issue at all, and yet the age gap is the same. Realistically, she's obviously ready for dating, if this boy is stopped from seeing her - good luck with that! - she's only going to end up dating another boy... and that boy might not have the maturity level to understand that waiting for her to be of age and ready for sex is the responsible thing to do!

Better to meet the boy and see what he's like before passing any judgement upon him. Passing any kind of judgement upon anyone before meeting them is totally unfair.

I always dated older guys when I was younger. They were more mature and we had something to talk about and a lot in common. Not all 18 year old guys think with their you know whats. Your daughter is probably more mature for her age and needs someone to relate you. If she were going to have sex, she would have sex, regardless of whether she was dating someone her own age or 18 years of age. If hubby thinks he can make her stop seeing this guy, think again lol she will just sneak around behind his back and see him. Might even lie to you about where she is going and who she is with. I like your approach of asking him to come over to dinner. I've always been a firm believer that I'd rather things happen in front of me or under my own roof than behind my back and god only knows where. I would just explain to him that she's most likely to do it anyway and if he's not supportive of her decisions then he's only encouraging, lies, sneaking, rebellious behaviour and she might not ever be able to be close to her father again. In future, when she has a problem or likes someone, she might not feel she can come to the both of you because you always try to stop her from doing things. (not saying you do but she might think that).

My mom told me to not get the "Never get overs" (std's, pregnancy, hiv, etc), to use the brains and good sense that I had, and to not let anyone push me into anything.

I'd suggest you ask your husband if he'd rather she date a 20 yr old. Or date a 40 year old when she 19. If that's what he wants, then he should keep doing what he's doing.

I would encourage you to remind her that they could both be charged because she is underage and the age gap is too big. Because he's 18, it is statutory rape , even if they have consentual sex. Once she turns 16 that cahnges. Tell her how smart she is, and remind her of times she made good decisions, and encourage her to use her brains and to not go beyond her comfort sones, even though her Dad is pushing her to do just that!

All the best.

You'll have to be careful with this one. My dad was very protective of me, and it drove me insane. When he banned me from seeing my bf when I was 16 I would go behind his back, sneak out to see him and pretend I was at a friends house when I was really with him.

I think its excellent that the guy wants to meet you both, I think this shows he is very responsible. I think you need to persuade your husband to meet him, it might put his mind at ease to know who his daughter is dating.

Guess you got to ask yourself, do you trust your daughter? and also does she know all about sex and the consequences that can come along with it? but as for your husband he needs to know the harder he pushes the issue of her not allowed to meet up with this boy the more she'll want to! but maybe the issue he has too is that he remembers that he was young once to and what he was like when he was young?

i think meeting the boy if he is up to it is a great idea and would give you some piece of mind, but at the end of the day it boils down to whether you and your husband trust your daughter, you may have to give her the benefit of the doubt and if she is mature enough she'll know whats right and wrong for her.  

 Be honest with her. Let her know the reasons why you are worried about this.  Tell her you trust her.

Meet with the lad, and lay down the rules. Treat them both as adults, but make it clear that you will only support their relationship if the rules are obeyed.

Perhaps they can spend time together at you house, you can take them both out to dinner etc. Try to get to know this guy.

I met my husband when i was 15 (he was 17).  I'm not 31 and we have been married for 16 years. My parents were pretty supportive, but we had to follow the rules.  He was eventually allowed to sleep over (but in a separate rooms with doors shut!!) etc.

Good-luck.

If you push her away from him it will only backfire. Be supportive, hard as it may be. Work on your husband. Is you daughter got a good head on her shoulders? or is she flighty and go with the crowds?? either way, you need her to know you love and supprot her and TRUST her. ask her to be careful. Thats my advice, when i was 13 i went out with a 16 y o, and the more my parents pushed the further i went. Good luck.