I cant add anymore to this awesome advice but Mums need time out too At my local pool there is a childminding room. It cost $3.50 an hour two hour max and you cant leave the pool but you can do classes or swim by your self. i love it!!!! jade gets to play with other kids and I get time out, win win. Much needed too.

Good luck

When my first son was 9 months old, I felt very much the same. That no-one cared or would come visiting. My husband's family didn't help much either ( I was amd still am the useless lazy Australian in the family - their loss, not mine). Everyday I would get up and spend the day crying, thinking that the world, and more importantly, my husband and son were better off without me. I really felt like no-one else in the world knew how this felt.

I happend to end up speaking to my clinic sister and actually confessing exactly how I felt. Like you too, I was so worried about having my child taken off me. She gave me a brochure and explained that for a certain percentage of women, the 'baby blues' that I was experiencing became prolonged and more intensified and that it was called Post-Naatal Depression. The first thing I did was went home and threw the information out. There was NO WAY that I could be depressed!

I'm very lucky that she didn't give up that easily on me. She actually called a mum's group that was running in the next suburb from us and organised for me to attend. She even organised for a ride so I had to go.

So I found myself at this group, not wanting to be there, thinking there was nothing wrong with me, and definately not going to conribute any information. Then everyone introduced themselves and their stories. Oh, my God!  Everyone there had felt exactly how I had! Every one. There was even a dad there.

I'm not saying I told my story that week, or even the week after that. It took me a very long time to trust them and open up, but after I did that, I felt so much relief. What added to the releif was that there were little treats each week to make us all feel special, and we all knew that what we said, was kept within the group. I made a few good friends ther, with whom I still keep in touch with now ( my son is now 12 years old).

In the end I attended that group for 7 months, and continued on with another group for another 3 months. Both worked in helping me to open up my network, and reinforce exactly what a great job of being a mum I was really doing. I think one of the biggest things I learnt from these groups is that sometimes, you really do havre to put yourself first and take care of yourself. Don't critisice yourself for trying, tomorrow's a new day and we can learn from today's mistakes.

 Just keeep in mind, that many other mum's and dads do feel like you. Ther are so many people that you can talk to, even just your family doctor, they will be able to put you onto someone who can help. You just have to decide to make that one phone call.

I for one am very proud of you for asking for help. That is an extremely brave thing to do! I hope things are on the way up for you. 

Oh dear you poor thing. As Mothers we try so hard and you love your kiddies so very much but you also have to love their Mommy.  She is the most important person in their lives and you have to love her for all she is. You need to be happy and feel safe. Maybe you need to change your inner dialog and not fear what you don't know. You do know that you need to feel better and that is the very best thing to do for your family.  People who do not know what to do to help you will go anyway,that just means you are looking to the wrong people for help.  Seek out what you know you need and then next year you will look back and wonder why you didn't do it sooner!  You deserve to be happy and have a healthy happy Mom for your two angels!  Best of luck!

Don't have anything to say, but just read all the advice and am in love ith what a beautiful community this is.  Just wanted to share that!!

Please feel free to minti mail me privately hun. It could have been me speaking those words - I feel a lot like you. I have NOBODY and I mean NOBODY who helps me with my 2 year old and I too have no friends - they seemed to stop talking to me after I had my son. Maybe because I'd changed so much - who knows!! But I can assure you your kids will not be taken away from you. I had the same concerns as well but my social worker said you're children can't be taken away from you but your situation can be reported. And the only time your situation is reported is if your kids are miserable and covered in cuts and bruises (so suspected abuse) or if you use drugs in front of your children and a professional has actually come to your home and seen your children playing with drugs. That my social worker said would warrant a call. But if your kids are in clean clothes, fresh nappies, no suspicious bruises and no drugs in the house - then you're doing a pretty good job compared to some of the scenes these professionals witness. So don't worry, don't be afraid and go and get the help you need!!

Love Samantha xox

first thing if you have not done anything wrong no one can take your kids of you second thing you need to open up to people let them know what is going on so they can help you as for your friends well their loss isnt it you need to talk and open up before things get worse send me a message if you want to talk and if i can help you i will shorne

I have been in a similar situation when my girls were young.   I felt like a failure because i couldn't cope.  I had 3 girls under 5.  Although I had family nearby, I was too embarrassed to say how i felt and at the time, my husband wasn't working so that added to my worries.  I decided one day to write a list of everything that made me feel good about myself.  That gave me the confidence boost I needed to organise myself better.  I got my girls into a routine so that at some stage of the day, I had time for me.   My healthier mood rubbed off on my girls and my husband so that we were all a lot happier.  If this suggestion doesn't work for you, try  calling lifeline or crisis care.  Their numbers are in the phone book.  You can talk to them anonymously and you will feel much better for sharing your worries with someone else.  Even though I don't know you personally, I feel a connection with you simply because your'e a mum like me.  You are a very special person and a loving mum to have asked for help in this way.  I hope my comments have made you feel better.  

 Dear Anon,

I think the important thing here is that you have the courage to express your concern. Dont forget how important YOU are to your children and how much they need you. Sometimes it can feel as if the world is falling apart around you but you have to stay strong. You are not alone. Lots of parents have felt at some stage and maybe to differing degrees, how you are feeling right now. Just take one day at a time. Focus on yourself and your kids. Dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Are you feeling better after some advice? Would really like to know how you are going

I have a 6month old boy. I have no troubles caring for him but my bf does my head in and stresses me out. Ive had anxiety now for 5 months and its horrible. I feel like im dying everyday. My stress and anxiety is so bad it causes physical pain.

You should go and see a doctor as soon as you can. They wont take your kids from you unless you are suicidle or really need to be hospitalised. Ive gon einto doctors and hospitals saying i have every sort of cancer, heart attack, meningitis,bone infections, blood clots ect and my son ahsnt been taken from me. Yes is tress alot but its onlyw phen my son is asleep co si got nuffin to do.

See your doctor. Minti mail me anytime you like. Im new to anxiety and i never knew how much pain it can cause mentaly, physically and emotionally!

By the way just re stating that I have an anxiety disorder. I didn't have any family or friends to turn to because we just moved to a new area and so I joined a mum's group down the road at the local hospital. The nurse there was fantastic, at first I was really shy and didn't know how to approach anyone. On the inside I just wanted to make new friends but on the outside it looked like I was being rude, anti social and not wanting to get to know anyone. So I understand how it feels to push people away, when on the inside you're just longing for a few good friends. My son has a lactose intolerant (at first I didn't know), he wasn't sleeping, I wasn't getting any sleep, my house work was piling up, he wouldn't stop screaming and I couldn't handle it, the anxiety and stress was creeping up on me. I was too in your position and too scared to tell anyone about it incase people thought I was a bad mother. I refused help, I politely declined offers from nurses who suspected something was wrong, I forced a smile and tried to say that everything was okay. I feared that asking for help would make me a bad mum and by watching videos about a subject I had studied made me feel dumb and stupid, so I didn't really want to. I had people call my house and offer to help me and I would deny it, say everything was okay and I was managing. One day it got too much and I turned up to the mothers group in a blubbering mess, walked up to my nurse and begged her to take my little boy for a second (because he had been screaming for days and doctor couldn't find anything wrong with him) I had no sleep and I was afraid I might lose it. She got me counselling, talking to someone made the problems seem smaller than I thought (anxiety makes it 100 x worse than what it really is but I'm sure you know that) and when they were simplified for me, I sorted them out 1 by 1. I then watched a few settling techniques (seems there is more than reading things in text books lol) and they worked, he started to sleep, then got a second opinion, my son was lactose intolerant and constipated. So I sorted that out, I got more sleep so the anxiety was reduced, so then I was rested, I could catch up on my house work. I had a nurse come to visit me and help me look after rai while I cleaned my house, gave me a bit of time by myself, I got support from mothers from the play group who rang me and asked me how I was doing. I then got offered a spot in a sleeping centre for a week to help my stress reduce. So yeah... if you're not abusing your kids you definitely will not have them taken away from you. There is so much help available, you just have to reach out and take it with both hands.

Take strength in the reply's you are receiving, there are people out there that care and we don't even know you.... Well done for saying it (well typing it) out loud.  Lack of sleep with everything else on top of that makes things so much worse too.  NO ONE  will take the kids away but I would spend energy on people who want to be with you.  Perhaps your friends aren't really "not speaking to you"  Maybe they are busy and see that you have quarnteened yourself due to the kids sickness...Make the first move with a good friend and ring her.

We do care and worry.  I am new to this site and I want to get into the car and come and help you too.  Take strength in that - but you do need to get out of the house - cabbin feaver doesn't also help.

Please don't feel like you are alone, there is plenty of mothers and even on Minti that have been in your exact position. Rukia (check up in the Members and then look at advise) has written some really great advice in regards to living with depression and is really worth while having a look at. Darl you need to get yourself to a doctor as soon as you can and there is no need to be worried about what they will think of you because believe me they will commend you for seeking help. Are you on any kind of Anti-depressants? Some people have different opinions regarding them but they really do help. I care so please feel free to Minti Mail me I will chat for as long as you like xx

Anxiety makes everything seem a hundred times worse than it really is... No-one can take your children just because you are depressed and have anxiety, unless you are going to hurt them, which I do not think you are going to do... It is very hard to deal with anxiety as it isolates you, trust me, I know. I spent 3 years at home, I walked my son to school and then went home. I couldn't even go to the supermarket for 2 years, that's how bad my anxiety was... I can now go pretty much anywhere I want to... It took a while, and a LOT of effort, but I did it. And you can too... You first need to acknowledge though that there is something wrong, which you have to us, but you need to see a doctor and get professional help... The next thing you need to do is accept that you have this 'illness', and it does NOT make you a bad person, and there is NOTHING 'wrong' with you... Your brain is simply seeing danger where there is none...  It took me a long time to accept the anxiety and actually realise what it was I had, but once I stopped worrying about it constantly, it took the pressure off myself, and I began to have less attacks... If you lived near me, I would visit you! There should be playgroups in your area that you can go to with the children... Even just the playground in a park would be a good start... Isolating yourself just makes it all worse... Please talk to someone!

Okay, so you're alone, you have no support, welcome to the club, but ... why would you be worried about your kids getting taken away by asking for help? It's a bit hard to advise you if we can't figure out what the problem actually is. I don't know where you live, so I don't know if I can recommend any parent support groups near you. I'm totally at a loss as to how to help, because I'm not sure what you actually need help with. You're welcome to minti mail me about it if you like, I won't judge you and definately won't tell anyone else.

Have you tried a local support group? There's plenty out there for mum's who want to meet other mum's and health care nurses for support. See a social worker if you like, have someone to talk to, get everything off your chest. They can also arrange a nurse to come around and visit you if you need a hand and things are a bit much. There is also this live in house (can't remember the name) but you can spend the week there and catch up on some sleep while nurses help you with your little ones. There's also plenty of support groups on here. I'll be your friend, there you go now you have someone to talk to.