this has to be a fake question. i cant believe someone would actually ask a thing like this !!!!     NO IT IS NOT OK. IT IS ABUSE AND WHOEVER IS DOING IT SHOULDNT HAVE A CHILD.

 Never!

i knew of a friend who wouldn't stand up to her husband and let him abuse her daughter. her used to lock her outside while it was dark because she was crying. eventually it lead to her developing fits and migranes for this poor little girl. she had severe developmental issues and couldn't be near her father without something happening. it seemed no matter how much i told her what she needed to do and that its unbelieveably wrong she just stayed with him and even moved state. eventually docs got wind of the situation from the childcare they went to and others and took the kids away. she has them back now but under strict restrictions.

i hope your friend can find the courage to stand up for her child, who does not deserve the abuse and leave him, for both their sake.

good luck

Its a abuse plain and simple. how would u feel if someone locked you in a cupboard.  if parenting is really hard and you cant handle it then get some professional help. your child or someones else doesn deserve to be treated like an animal.

Okay I wasn't specific because I was just looking for advice.

I know it is wrong, but that doesn't make me right.

An old friend of mine has informed me of someone we know, that is allowing her husband to lock their 4yr old daughter in the cupboard, why??? apparently because she is noisey, I mean there was no mention of naughty behaviour, nothing. And I know I do not have the full story, but from the sounds of things it is completely inappropriate.

I do not know what to say to the mother, but if she can't stand up to her husband then how is it worth the suffering of her daughter. Her daughter will not know any better, and it sucks thinking that when she goes to school she will think it is normal until she finds out and then maybe she will hate her mother more for not stopping it rather than her father for doing it, and I really don't think any parent would like to be in that situation, whether it's about being locked in a cupboard or not. It's not about the parent being hated, it's about the affects on the child.

I have a 4yr old son, 2yr old daughter, 10 month old daughter and another on the way. Sure my kids can drive me up the damn wall, but I never wish them gone, I can't even handle putting my son in time out when he has flipped out. Which is where my partner comes in, when I can't deal with them I tell him to deal with them and I go away until I calm down. Then I come back and explain why I left, and re explain why he was sent to time out, so he hears it from me because I started it.

SO I was looking for someone to agree with me but also someone to not agree with me, so I had something to think about that I haven't already thought about yet. If anyone could offer some sites, phone numbers, groups that I could pass on. My friend has reported it to docs and came to me asking me what I thought, and I agree with her. I don't think docs are the perfect solution, as I do think the father may hide it as in "happy families".

I am still wondering if there is a way to get it into her head that it's not okay whether she pretends it's a game or not, that it might affect her future and maybe the law side of things will be enough to scare her into reality. The fact that she barely has time alone, or alone with her child means it would be hard for her to get help. She talks with our friend on the phone only to say her husband is coming and hangs up, as if she cant even have a phone call doesn't make much else look good, I have seena few pictures of their child and she looks rather happy, but they were a few seconds in her life, and maybe she isn't bothered by the cupboard thing, but a child only knows what they are taught, until they find out the truth.

Thankyou for the responses that were actually helpful.

I could never do it to my children, or anyone elses, so the thought of someone doing it to their own kills me.

I will keep pushing, thankyou for your support

No, don't do that, don't let anyone else do it, and if anyone you know is doing it, report them for child abuse. Locking a child in any confined space like that is abuse, it's dangerous, and it's illegal.

Simple enough answer? I thought so.

The very fact you have asked this question annonymously would suggest that you already know the answer to it.  IT IS ABUSE.  You are depriving a child of their right to not being 'jailed'.

The risks to a child that is shut in a cupboard are great.  They risk suffocation and death from it, intense psychological issues associated with confined/dark spaces, and even social isolation.

Any parent who looks their child up like you are asking would be charged with child abuse, and would most likely lose their child.  There are better ways of dealing with children when it comes to discipline.

If you were someone I knew (don't worry, you aren't- got to leave the house to know people), I would be reporting you to the authorities.  No child deserves to be treated like a piece of clothing- that is just shutting the cupboard door on them, no matter how tempting it might be.

Im pretty sure there are others ways to discipline a child!! without abusing them.. I feel that if this is maybe you who has (AND I AM CERTAINLY NOT JUDGING YOU) I think that you may be stressed out and need to speak to someone.. If it comes to that point where you feel you have to lock them in a cupboard- go outside and count to ten!! calm yourself down. I know that it may be easy said then done, but Im pretty sure your normally a great parent who doesnt want to lose their child by locking them in a cupboard. It this is a friend who is doing this, please help them before it may get worse. I hope this situation doesnt happen again.. as think of it as if you were the child locked in the cupboard, I dont think you would like it??   Take care xx

I would call that abuse.  If you are asking because you are having difficulty getting your child to stay in time out then you just need to be consistant.  If they get up put them right back.

If you are really stressed over how to cope with you child / children please seek help.  I do not think that there is a parent out there that has not had a bad day.  There are places you can go and phone numbers to call for people to help. 

Locking a child in a cabinet is definately not a good idea for several reasons as previous responses have stated.

No, you can't lock a child in a cupboard- this could have long term effects on your child's mental and emotional health. My grandmother used to shut one of her babies in the pantry (she had undiagnosed Post Natal Depression) because she cried all the time. It affects my aunty to this day to the point where she was never able to have a fully functioning relationship.

If you are referring to time out, that would be an acceptable solution. Tell the child his behaviour is unacceptable, and put him in a room (not a cupboard) on his own and shut the door for as many minutes as their age. For example if the child is 2, leave him there for 2 minutes. Then you must open the door and talk about why he was put there.

I am assuming this is a serious question, which, as a parent you should know the answer to. But its OK to ask for advice. Perhaps you could join a mothers group in your area or buy some books on raising children. You could also talk to your GP or book in for a parenting course. I wish you the best.

hell NO!!! this is abuse, and if children services have not been called yet I would do it now. there is no reason to lock a child in a cupboard to discipline them this will only scare them and more than likely make them scared of the dark in turn developing another problem.

I am so glad you came here to ask.  I hope everything is O.K.  with you. Please read the answers and know that if you are in a situation that you need help, there are lots of ways to get it and setting out a question is one way.  A child is so fragile and I feel the only way to treat them is with love and hugs, they should never live with fear of being mistreated, they should only know safety. 

Sure go ahead lock the child in there and then call the police on yourself and they can lock you in jail for the rest of your life, how  can you ask a question like that???? is there something wrong with you or are you just creating a subject for negative comments, all I can say is that if you do, do this then you need some serious physcological help.

Obviously the consensus here is no its not ok and yes its abuse (and I agree).  My concern is not only for the child but also for you- I sense this isn't you using this as a form of discipline.  Have you witnessed someone doing this to a child, perhaps a partner doing this to your child, or another mother you know?  Do you fear for yourself if you do speak up (if this is an abusive partner displaying this controlling behaviour, perhaps you are concerned he may turn on you?) I know it can be hard speaking up, but if you have witnessed something that could be classified as abuse it may be only you who can protect the child.  I would recommend reading some of the fabulous advice about speaking up about child abuse.  I will try to add some links that might help.

Hell No!!!!  No reason is good enough for that type of torture!!!!

All that does create another poor soul with problems like fear of lifts, agoraphobia  & who knows what else!!!

NO, NO, NO!!!!!

Abuse!

That is never okay. A child should never be locked up on their own anywhere . It's very negative for their security and mental development.

I'm trying to figure out if this is just someone being silly and being a troll or whether you're actually serious... Obviously it's not discipline, it's not acceptable... for any reason at all and is definitely abuse.

nup no way absoulutely not    put yourself in there and try and imagne the door was locked and someone else had that sort of control  no way

well.. i locked a door on my teen while she was throwing stuff round the house for protection, for only a few minutes and didnt even leave the door unattended while this was happening! then opened it and apologied! I was told by the police after she ran off to be with her dad while i explained what had taken place that i had infact broken the law simply by pulling her door shut and locking it... that was an entire room to run round in, a cupboard would be extremely restrictive and i would imagine, alot more serious offense. I personally wont ever lock a door on my child again, I had been advised only days before that her safety was number one on the list and more important, then when put into practice, told that I had been breaking the law to do so.. Definately dont lock a child in a cupboard, and if you know someone who is, I would be seriously wondering if their techniques are healthy for the child.. Hope this gives you some answers .

Cheers from Mel xx

NO Absolutely not, under no circumstances should a child be locked in a cupboard, it is abuse.  If you are at this stage, I suggest you look for some support as parenting must be a challenge that has overcome you at this point in time.  Please please ring parentline (Australia) http://www.parentline.com.au this has the contact # for your state.  If your child's behaviour is that challenging, just go outside for 5 mins to calm down.  You are not teaching your child anything by doing this.