Yes, I have had a bit of time off..but Im sure you are all jumping for joy to see me back (here is where u nod your heads).

OOh, where to start..mmm, Jenaya started pre-entry kindy today! I thought I would have been happier..you know, the whole getting my life back and all but actually I was a smidge sad about it. I kept thinking that this is gonna be the absolute last time I get to take one of my kids to their very first day of kindy. From now on it is going to be a whole new lot of last times of first days! Anyway, she loved it. No tears thankfully infact she was a bit pissed at having to even come home!

Finally went to the dentist earlier in the week. I thought that I just needed a filling so the dentist filled it. When I got home, I was in sooo much pain so I rang the dentist back and told her. She said to give it some time and to return in a few days if it still hurt. A FEW DAYS!! I was nearly ready to rip my bloody head off it hurt so much. Rang another dentist who said to come in straight away. After a quick xray, it turned out I had a massive infection in one of my teeth and it had to be removed. An hour later and lots of blood, the tooth was out. I was prescribed antibiotics and have been taking panadiene forte every 4 hrs since wednesday. It still hurts and is very swollen so I am going to ring back tomorrow just make sure it is ok. Lets just say, I have had lots of sleep!

Jordan won tickets to the crows/carlton game tomorrow here at aami stadium. Some raffle at school..pity he hates footy! he was pretty chuffed all the same about winning tho.

Well apart from all that, life has been the same ol, same ol

Hope you are all well

Joxx

So who remembers having sex ed when they were at school? God, i do. I was in yr 6 and the instructor asked what the picture was. Me, thinking I knew all there was to know, put my hand up and was practically hyperventilating waiting to be picked. After an eternity, she picked me and I most proudly and very loudly said that the picture was overals. The whole room errupted in laughter as I stared around thinking, gee I must be pretty good to make everyone laugh.

Turned out that the picture was indeed a picture of OVARIES!! Ok, face turning redder by the second, couldn't slink any further down into my chair all the while wishing the world would swallow me and my stupid mouth up! Still cant live that one down..good ol' trusty mum is always there to remind me and anyone else who wants to hear the tale!

So, anyway, this term at school, my son has had his sex ed classes and according to him, they are a riot! He eagerly comes home to tell me everything he "learnt' and will usually break out into laugh with the odd, "mum, it was sooo gross". Hell, I thought I taught him all he needed to know..at least until he hears the rest from his mates lol.

I wonder how the teachers feel when faced with a bunch of pre-teens who think it is either funny or gross. How do they handle it? This leads me to wondering..do the kids really need to know all of the inns and outs..(pardon my funny lol) of sex at this age? What do you all rekon?

Enough from me know..got to batten down the hatches here is SA...big storm hitting...finally rain, glorious rain!

Joxx

Last night I went to see that medium guy, Kelvin Cruickshank. Apparently he has worked on the television show, Sensing Murder (never seen it) and is more well know for being the medium in New Idea...or is it Womans day..one of those mag's anyway.

I am a bit of a sceptic, not a disbeliever but not a believer. Give me proof and Im there! Well I got that last night. In the beginning, I thought this guy was full of it. He kept on talking to himself and telling "something" that they could come up on stage. Oh well I thought..I just wasted $68 on some weird o talking to himself. He started off by saying that if he came to you, that you were not to give him too much info, more just to say yes or no and to confirm his questions. So, he goes staight to this woman and says your mum and dad have passed..Duh! she was like 100 yrs old..of course they have passed! Strike one in my book. Then he starts prattling off all this stuff which could be related to all of us. Then ou tof nowhere he says, "so who has the birthday on the 12th of january?" Turned out it was that father that had passed! Then he says who was the train driver..yep, the father! Freaky..i was getting goose bumps.

I saw John Edwards a few years back and he was quite broad in his questions...someone with the name starting with the letter P..peter, paul. Anyone would have that and be able to link it to their lives. He never gave me anything that made me become a believer. This guy tho, he was spot on with everyone he spoke to.

It did get a bit frustrating. He kept picking out the real dumb asses. The ones who kept saying no, thats not right. And then Hello! the light turn on and bingo, they remember that yes, they do infact have a brother named Chris. Then there were the people who kept putting their hands up saying that it all relates to them and it must be them that he needs to talk to. Some people were just so desperate for a reading that they would find anything he was saying and ralate it to themselves.

All in all, it was a great night and as for the guy...definately easy on the eye  !

As you know, Jordan is nearly 12 and has always been a good  kid..never been in trouble and actually, probably been wrapped in cotton wool a bit too much by me. Just now, his best mate Tom came around on his treddly asking if Jors wanted to go for a ride. As Jordan still cant ride his bike he asked if it was ok if he went for a walk with Tom to the park. I felt really put on the spot and didnt know what to say especially with Tom standing right there.

 The kids up here seem so much older and seem to have more freedom. The area is quite safe compared to where I used to live and it is not unusual to see kids at the park on their own. Anyway, I said yes and told him the boundaries of the streets that he must not go past and told him he has an hour. I have no doubt that he will be back within the hour and Tom appears to be a decent kid (from what I can tell). So why do I feel wary of this? I think too much, I always picture the worst ie. child abductions so when is it ok to let your kids go on their own. I always said that I would never let my kid be one of "those" kids that are roaming the streets. Have I just allowed that to happen?? I have only just adjusted to him walking to and from school with Tom and that was huge step for me.

I dont want to be the parent that never lets their kid do anything and is over protective which I feel I have been up until now. I also dont want to be played like a fool.. I have never had to deal with this before as he has never had the opportunity to be out on his own except to and from school.

Whats everyone elses gut feeling..be honest please, if u think i have made a bad decision then tell me why..

Joxx

Well, I am back from my interstate bingo trip and am $1200 richer!

When people say Adelaide is a sleepy little town compared to melbourne..they are not wrong! Everything is so much faster (and so much dirtier) and the driving..my god, its a free for all! How we came out alive is beyond me.

We got off the plane at 9am in Mel. after  an apparent smooth plane ride..yeah right o! And left our luggage at the hotel. As we could not check in until after lunch, we headed straight over the road for bingo. Its very different there to what we are used to. Could not believe the amount of money going thru the place nor the prize money..absolutely huge! When it all started, we struggled to keep up as the numbers are called so fast..not to mention we were pissing ourselves laughing...

After that session, we went and checked into our room..I like to call it our crack hotel but apparently it is actually a hotel room!! We opened the door to our "room" and stood there with our mouths open...what a dump! Visualise the following...door handle coming off, dirty carpets, mouldy tiles in the bathroom, some strange brown substance sparayed up the back of the toilet tiles eeewww.., 1inch thick dust on the skirting rails, blinds that dont fit the windows and gape open, smelly fridge, off milk, front of the airconditioner fallen off, no fire extinguisher, beds that if u sit on them they fold in half and are lop sided, no towels and a strange neighbour that had various (and many) male visitors popping in for no more than a half hour..mmm, wonder what they were doing! All of this luxury on a 8 lane highway with trucks and traffic all night long. We headed to the shops for disinfectant and  a brush to try and clean it a bit. We even had to stand on a towel while in the shower! So, with that lovely picture in your mind, now imagine the smell...yep, certainly not the Hilton. Neddless to say, we didnt go into our room much. I know it was only 3 stars rating so I am guessing Melbourne star rating may be very different to Adelaides ratings..

Anyway, the whole weekend was a blur but fun and we even had a win..$1200 so that made it worth while. The plane ride home scared the geebees outta me. Thought I was gonna die and practically kissed the tarmac when we touched down..next time Im driving!!!

Oh yeah..did I tell ya i won $1200..lol

Nice to be home in my clean house..

And b4 anyone asks, yes we are in the process of writing a letter of complaint and we even took photos for evidence!

Hopefully I will pop some of the better photos on here soon.

Take care...Joxx

Thought I would offer you all some more dribble..it is Sunday after all!

Pretty well noone here would know that I have not spoken to my brother for nearly 2 years. He is 6 years older than me and up until we had the falling out, we were extremely close. Infact, he was even present at my son's birth. Ok, Ok, some of you are probably going eeww, but it wasn't like that..he was fasinated and loved every minute of it...I cant even remember him being there..

It has always been me, mum and him..we stuck together and as mum has gotten older, my bro and I had stuck together even more. It is a really long story but basically my brother turned into a right dick the last year or so of us having contact. He is a detective and his job entails working with crooks and dishonest people. He would of had to have been on his guard the whole time at work but I was finding he couldnt switch off. He was bringing his attitude home and treating people like nothing. Worse still, he treated mum like a crap and kept on reminding her of some things that happened to him as a child ( no very bad things but bad enough). Mum was a different person then..in a abusive marriage and someone who wouldnt defend herself or us in fear of being bashed. My brother would make digs at mum and blames her for the things that happen to him now and why he reacts to stuff in his day to day life. I guess I am a bit more black and white. I say hello..get it together, you cant change the past, u know why stuff happened then, its not like you were abused, unfed, unclothed etc. get past it and move forward. Be responsible for your own actions now and stop being a victim, if you so hated your child hood then make dam sure your kids dont have the same kind as you did!

Well anyway ( getting off the track) I basically told him he was a knob and that he should pull his head in and show some respect to mum. Well, that didnt go down too well lol and we have not spoken since. You could say the shit hit the fan lol!

I have sent texts here and there for xmas and birthdays and even when his dog died but never received any back. I have rung and left a message to see if he is ready to get this sorted but obviously he isnt ready. Its been so long now that it doesnt even matter anymore in a way. Thats really bad..I care but I dont care. U know what I mean?

Anyway, today is his birthday so on impulse, I sent him a text..happy birthday, have a nice day xx. Immediately, I got one back saying thanx sis. I couldnt believe it..first bit of contact ( if u wanna call it that) in 2 years!

I am not sure what to make of it..I dont know wether to make contact again or just let him come to me.

Either way, its a sign that his knickers may just be getting untwisted!

Life has been hectic of late between school going back and Ryan's job loss (which turns out not to be so bad). I feel like my head has been spinning. I have been trying to get up to speed and read everyones blogs and have just realised that I have neglected my own!!

Yesterday was the first real time I have felt like Im losing my little boy. Yeah  he is nearly 12 but he is still my boy..u know what I mean. Anyway, he was in the shower when he yells out to me to come here. Me thinking that he just needs a clean towel goes to him for him to tellme excitedly that he has just found a couple of pubic hairs!! My god, my jaw fell to the floor, I broke out in a sweat although trying to be positive, all the while screaming NO NO!! This cant be happening, not yet, not now, not ever! My baby is not meant to get pubic hairs..other people kids are..not mine! Then he starts examining every square inch of his 11and a half year old body for any more signs of masculinity and seemed more disappointed that the chest hairs had not started yet! How the hell am I meant to be happy about this huh..someone please tell me?? All I felt like doing is crying..but he was so happy and proud.!

I am over reacting I know and I should be happy that he felt comfortable enough to show me (as awkward as I felt) but I am really not ready for this..Cant I just go back to when he was 4..yeah 4, that was a good year! lol

Enough for now..its just too sad lol

Joxx

Well as my opener states..we may be signing up for government assistance in the near future..

My hubby found out yesterday that he will no longer have a job as of the end of march due to the closure of mitsubishi here in adelaide. Although he actually works for an out sourced company within the plant, he will still be made redundant along with 1000 other people. Anyone living in Adelaide would already know that the company's closure has been a long time coming but it is still a big shock as to how quick it will all be happening. Alot of the workers have been there most of their working life and know nothing else..

Ryan is optimistic, he is not worried at all. He is really confident that he will find work and tells me not to stress. I guess we should be thankful that I work on the weekends so at least we will have some small income coming in. Worst case senario will be that he will have to get governmnet assistance but we really dont want to do that unless we have no ther choice. I know there is nothing wrong with that but there is a certain stigma associated with living on the dole. People look down upon those needing it and think they are all bludgers which is not always the case..certainly not in our case.

Well I guess that luxury holiday I planned one day will be pushed further into the distance...

Thats my dribble for tonight..have a good one!

Here are the rules for this tag.

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Are you ready? I know you just can't wait to know 6 random quirky things about me!!

1)  I am scared of clowns and any dolls that have flicky eyes. I will head the other way if I see one. Have no idea why. Kinda makes playing the ball in the clowns mouth game at the show hard lol.

2) I am addicted to coffee latte's from hungry jacks..i cant drive past one without buying one..pathetic yes..i know.

3) I dont like doing right hand turns across traffic and will drive completely out of the way to avoid doing so. Driving takes me longer but as everyone I know says.."she gets there in the end!"

4) I hang my washing out in strict order..smalls in the inner line with clothing getting bigger towards the outter part of the line. I colour coordinate my pegs according to the colour of the clothes being pegged. ie.green top, green peg. (some may say i am tad anal, i like to call it fussy!)

5) I dont eat leftovers...I know there are starving people out there and all that but to me it just screams salmonella..I wont go there, cant do it..

and for the grand finale....drum roll please...

6) I spend my Sunday evenings playing bingo at my local footy club with a bunch of oldies. Infact I am going on a weekend away to Melbourne purely to bingo..only 43 sleeps to go hehehe....tragic for a 31 yr old yes, but oh so fun..hehe

Well thats me..I wont bother sending this on as most of u have already had the chance and not to mention..I cant do a link...yet!

 I have not been on Minti for a few weeks which some of you may have noticed ( and if you have not noticed..then shame on you!!! hehe) I have no idea where the time has gone. One minute I am shopping ready for xmas then BOOM...its early January. I sound like my mother now...oh dear.

Xmas was fine..new years was ..well...I did try to stay awake and I vaguely remember hearing some backyard fireworks but simply couldn't pull my sorry ass out of bed to look at them..so this new years was one not to remember. I had to start work at 7am on new years day so the only good part about that was getting to see all the plastered drunks stumbling along the road feeling pretty ill knowing full well that their hangovers haven't even really kicked in yet..(I say rubbing my hands in glee hehe). But I guess I got my karma...I have had the worst bout of gastro I have ever had in my life...no crap!! hehe! Again, I see a bright side. I have been able to stay in bed all day for 3 days, being waited on by my hubby who is home on holidays and I have not felt guilty about it once! I couldnt see how messy the house had been getting from my bedroom which was probably a good thing but then I ventured out into the kitchen today and WHOA..you can imagine....

Well it is exactly 25 days until school goes back and even less until hubby returns to work...then maybe my life shall return to some normal routine.

To those who have left me some really lovely xmas and new year pictures..thank you, that was a nice surprise. One day (if i ever get broadband) I shall come into your lounges and return the favour.

So to all, hoping you all had a great chrissy and a fab new years and heres to a wicked 2008!

Joxx

Well today is Jenaya(aka mooshie)'s 3rd birthday and if today is anything to go by, then she can just go back to being 2!! I swear she had 3 times the amount of tantrums to what she did yesterday when she was 2. I dont remember my son being like this...maybe it is a girl thing lol. But please..tell me...when do the girls drop the whinge thing?? Everything is said with a whinge..even something like.." mum there is a snail in the garden" God gimme strength!

Her presents were a hit tho. She played with them for most of the day and tomorrow she is having a little party with the family. I am meant to be working but am feeling a touch of gastro coming on as we speak lol...oh, just hang for a sec..need to puke!!

Only a few more days till school is back YAY and life will once again return to some hectic normalsy (is that even a word??) Just think, its only been 2 weeks off..what about xmas..isnt that 5 weeks? Ooh, my few grey hairs are multiplying by the second just thinking about it.

Best be off...oh,gastro..ouch sore tummy..puke..feel real bad..maybe i should have tomorrow off...dont want to spead it around..tehe he he!!

JOxx

Some of u would know that Jordan was going on his first scout camp this weekend and how nervous I was about him leaving. Well, he had an absolute ball. We dropped him off at the scout hall on Friday night and he left for Woodhouse soon after. I was so worried that he would fall into the river or something equally horrifying lol...(note to self...not so much cotton wool lol)

On the Saturday am while I was at work, Ryan got a phone call from Jordan saying that he was just calling to tell us that he was ok and having fun. His scout leader thought it would make me feel better knowing that he was fine so offered his mobile phone for Jors to use. How nice is that! We got another phone call Sunday am and it was Jordan asking if it was ok for him to travel with his scout leader and his son back from the camp and they will drop him off home. Well when he got home I couldn't believe the state of him! He was covered head to foot in dried mud (so were the scout leaders) and his perfectly white shoes were perfectly brown..he also smelt like the dog but I didnt want to hurt his feelings by telling him so!

After a hot shower and a cup of Milo he told me all about his weekend..none of it made any sense as he was so excited about it all and it all came out in a mixed up load of blah! Regardless, he had a great time and cant wait for next terms camp!

Hope u r all well!

I have absolutely nothing to talk about tonight..life is pretty boring so I thought instead of writing nothing,I would give u a couple of not so well known facts...

* When a woman gets pregnant, any arthritic pain that she suffered from pre-pregnancy, will disappear...bet u didnt know that hey!

*The only part of our bodies that can't repair themselves are our teeth!

*The corneas in our eyes dont have a blood supply going to it.

Well, there you go..bet u didnt know that huh!!

It is amazing what rubbish u find yourself reading when on the bloody internet!...I so need a life..

Have a good one!!

Anyone see Today Tonight? (my last blog started with this line too lol)

Story about a 21yr who is asking for sperm donors to have babies (she wants 11 ha, yeah right o). She puts adds in the paper asking for a donor, meets up with them and spends time getting to know them and providing they pass her questionaire, the insemination can then go ahead.

I am not sure how I feel about this. She has no desire to have a partner nor does she feel she needs one. That is not the issue with me..more the 11 kids bit and then knowing full well that she can not support her kids on her own so then having to have gov. money. How anybody survives on the amount they get is beyond me but with 11 kids? I believe all women who want to have a child and can give it the life it deserves should definately go ahead even if this means living on a parenting pension but I dont think they should do this repeatedly. But then again, why should all the tax payers have to fund her life choice? Its a hard one..

Sometimes women who get to their 30's and are childless and partnerless yearn for a child and instead of having a one night stand, they would opt for turkey basting from a donor. Providing they can offer love and a stable home..why would this be bad?

I dont think this girl would be only doing it for the cash (baby bonus etc) as really, u would have to be insane...a few thousand will only last so long hey..

So, what do u all rekon...Im in 2 minds about it...

Anyone watch Today Tonight last night..presuming u have the sames stories as what we have here in SA.

One of the stories was about  the whole Bec and Leyton saga with them pledging to build an orphage in Cambodia and how apparantly they have not done so.

It said something like 50% of the population there are children and a massive amount of them are infact orphans. How heartbreaking it is to hear that there is so much child trafficing and people using them as child prostitutes. Imagine selling your own child to someone wo could commit these acts.

I just dont understand it. There are so many people who can not have kids and have to resort to adoption. It seems that adoption in this country is very hard and couples have to wait such a long time to be able to hold a child and call it their own. Why cant these poor orphans be adopted to people who can care for them the way these kids deserve? Why do couples in Australia have to wait so long when there are so many children there with no loving family to care for them? It doesnt make sense...the solution seems so easy.

Obviously there must be a reason (although god only knows what it is) as to why this cant happen..really makes u thankful for what u have and what your child will never have to endure, doesnt it!

Anyway, I guess all I can do is shake my head and hope that things would change.

If u had read my last post then here is the follow up..

Jordan gave the note to the teacher first thing in the morning. On the way to science lesson, the teacher pulled the other 2 boys out of class and told them that a complaint has been made and that this type of complaint is extremely serious. He did the usual tell em' off speech and sent the details up to the office including my letter to the principle. At recess time Allen had a huge spit at Jordan telling him that its all his fault and the olny reason he got into trouble was because Jordan is the teachers pet. Another child overheard all of this and reported it all to the teacher as soon as recess was over. Apparently the teacher pulled the boys out of class again and sent them straight up to the principle who went balistic! She gave them yellow cards (very serios stuff!) sent letters home to the parents made them have lunch time detention and said if they so much as moan at Jordan, they will be automatically suspended. The boys all got together to talk about it and I guess they now understand what their comments have done and since then, things seem ok

When I got home from picking jors up, there was a message on the answering machine from the teacher telling me what had happened. Within 5 mins the phone rings and its him again telling me he wanted to make sure i understood his message. He went over the whole thing again and was really good about the incidents. I felt heaps better about it all and jordan was beaming. Kinda restored my faith in the antibullying procedure that the school has and the school in general.

It has been an awful week and one I am happy has come to an end. Now I can get back to enjoying my holidays from work...only got 7 days left

Glad some of u have been reading my blogs...was begining to think noone did!!

Have a great weekend my minti mates...

JO xx

Some of you might remember me posting a question a while back about my son Jordan and how he started at a new school at the begining of the year and how he feels as tho he doesnt fit in. Well it seems to be continuing..

His so called friend Allen has been a right s**t towards Jordan lately. Allen and another kid Tom wait on the steps in the morning for Jors and when they see us pull up in the car, they whisper amongst themselves waiting for Jors to walk up to them. Just as he gets up to them, they run away laughing. Jordan thought they were just mucking around but it isn't the case. Allen called him a loser with no friends as Jordan threw the ball hte wrong way yesterday. He continually calls him the teachers pet as Jors is generally well behaved at school and has not got a green card (green card is discipline method) as yet. He will say that JOrdan cant play with him or anyone else as Allan is the boss and everyone has to do what he says. The following day, he will say that they are friends only for it to all happen again when Allen spits the dummy. It is really starting to do Jors' head in. This sort of crap makes my blood boil! I would have expected this catty stuff from girls but not boys and certainly not at this age.

I decided to write the teacher a note detailing all of the incidents and explained that I didnt want to come in to see him about it just yet incase it gave hte boys more reason to single JOrdan out but, I did say I wanted it dealt with pronto! The schooll has a anti bullying procedure but it seems it is not working. The bullies get away with it. It doesnt affect them or their social, home lives. They go home and forget what torment they have caused to another, whilst Jordan comes home rehashing it over again in his mind. Almost better to be the bully??? It is not like JOrdan looks like an outcast..he looks normal and isnt what we all remember the classic nerd looked like. It is just this type of shit that can cause future emotional problems. Look at youth suicide...how many of these poor buggers were bullied at school? I dont want my son to become a statistic...Right now, I would glady grab these kids by the collar and kick their 11 yr old asses!

thanx for the vent... have a great day!

Jo xx

Some of you know that my 11yr old Jordan has a little girlfriend at school called tiffany. she is a sweet kid and of course at that age, it is more of a buddy buddy thing. Although he did accidently brush hands with her the other day when the class were watching a dvd...lol

Anyway..it appears the "relationship" is over! Last night I  found Jors talking to another girl at school while he was playing the game Runescape online. She told him that she liked him and then he told her the same! I was so surprised at this...I thought he liked tiffany!

I know that at this age its all innocent but it did rattle me a little. I was disapointed that he could so easlily discard one girlfriend to immediately get another without a second thought and it got me wondering are these the kinds of things I will have to deal with more so as he gets older. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation so I gently asked him how he would be feeling should it have been tifffany who had broken up with him for another boy. I left it at that..

This morning he had obviously been thinking about it as he was quiet but still happy to be going to school.  Who knows what will happen!

I am not ready for any of this yet. I dont want him to be having girlfriends yet as innocent as they may be...and certainly not dumping one for another...

why cant I just skip the next couple (or 20)  years? I have enough grey hair already and i am only 30 ..what hope have got?.....

I don't know what is going on with me lately (great opener hey..)

I don't think that I am depressed, I mean I don't feel sad continually, I am not crying for no reason...u know, the classic symptoms but then I have to wonder... I wake up in the morning and think to myself, God is it morning already...no I just cant deal with the kids, house ect again today....isn't everyone like that? Mmm...

I feel so unmotivated and tired...I am full of wanting to get out there and get stuff done but I just can't seem to drag my ass along. Tomorrow tho will no doubt be a different story. I wil probably have one of those few full of energy, get it all done days. Pity they are so few and far between. I could quite easily sit on my bum all day and do nothing right now but then feel such guilt at having done nothing while Ryan is out there working. I only have to work on the weekends!

I was doing the food shopping this am and began having a very minor panic attack. I have not had one for a few years now but anyone who has had one knows how scary they are. I feel mine coming on tho and am able to kinda talk myself out of..weird hey! I get this adreniline hit out of nowhere and I feel my pulse quicken and harder and I feel like i am gonna pass out. It is bloody awful.

I get these totally irrational fears in me too. (u all probably rekon im nuts now..) It is my birthday next week and hubby wanted to take me to melbourn for a night (also so he can see the crows play a game...blah, dont think so!) Mum would have been watching the kids overnight but I kept putting it off and now it is too late. If I am honest here, it is because I am scared to fly. What if the plane crashes..what if there is a terrorist on board? I dont wanto to die in fear! What about the kids? Then i think its just not worth the risk. WHAT RISK?? I know rationally that I could be in a car accident ect but the whole flying thing...do u understand...if u dont then just humor me ok..

I worry about everything..Driving...I wont turn right across traffic infact I will go via darwin if needed to avoid it! I hate driving actually...be happy if i never had to again. Hell I wont even go onthe ferris wheel at the show..how pathetic is that?

My god...i am writing this and am actually starting to think I am not all there!! I thought i was a perfectly normal person...now im not so sure lol.

I am gonna take a breath (and maybe a vodca) and count to ten...and maybe a lay down....

breath in...breath out...relax and chill.... ooohh thats a bit better!!