Next month we're off to Broken Hill to live as a means to get back home to Coffs Harbour, it's the only way the Police Force to transfers, we have to do a 3+ yr stint in an outback town first then they will let us go where we want.they do offer compasionate transfer but that's only on a short term basis but I have that as a backup if we need it.

I just can't believe all this is happening..............

No matter how bad things get I just have to look at their smiling faces and and suddenly everything seems ok. We're going through some pretty tough things at the moment with my Mum who has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer and it's just about breaking my heart.......my Mum is my world, she is my best friend. I was there when the doctor told her and it was like my world suddenly came crashing down. So things are pretty hard at the moment. She's coming down to Sydney tomorrow to see specialists and as she'll be staying with us and we'll be seeing her in hospital I had to tell the boys so that was hard....Zak got pretty upset which was hard for me to watch.

I've now tried to blog three times but it just won't let me add photo's so I'm uploading them separately.

Much love to all
Amanda xxxxxx

The past 2 weeks have been so hard emotionally and physically, more than anything I thought it would be. I had my doctor's appointment today and he was just so lovely. He's happy I made it this far(38wks) but he can also see just how much this taken from me. He made a phone call and got me in to be induced tomorrow morning........I could have cried right then and there. So I have to ring the hospital at 7:15am to find out if I can go in then or if I have to wait.

I'll get Fi to let you all know the details and maybe even a pic or two.

Much love to all watch this space..............

Amanda xxxx

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and hopefully only have 3 weeks left till I meet my beautiful baby girl's. I'm taking part in a research program that is trying to find out when is the best time to deliver twins. Some research has shown that the placenta starts to break away and deteriorate at approx. 37 weeks, so they're putting together 2 groups. One group you get induced at 37 weeks and the second group they let you go till 38-39 weeks in the hope you go naturally. The computer allocates you to a group so it's fair (damn it, LOL). I'm hoping I get the first group LOL. Naturally though my doctor can override the research at anytime.

My Gestational Diabetes is under control and slowly going away. I no longer have to have my over night injection and by breakfast injection has been reduced, so I'm pleased about that as I've had enough of having to watch everything I eat and time my meals. It's really been getting me down.

I do have to say as much as I've loved being pregnant, it's really been such a rough time and I've kind of felt cheated out of enjoying it as much as I could have. With the severe morning sickness, then the enormous amount of weight I've lost, being anaemic, then the GD and on top of it all the constant comments about how terrible I look and how much weight I've lost and the blatant rude stares I get and comments of how big I am........it's all taken it's toll and my poor family are suffering because of it. I am loving the movements and kicks I get constantly everyday though, it's absolutely amazing feeling them both move around. I've been having ultrasounds every 2 weeks for a while now also so it's been great to see my girls so much and get the 4D pics. As of this week they are 5.5 lbs and 5.2 lbs and have lots of hair and they apparently have lots of hair.

I had my baby shower a few weeks ago and got absolutely spoilt rotten, I couldn't believe how much stuff everyone bought for the girl's. It blew me away! I have to say I'm truely blessed to have the friend's that I have. One of the gifts I got is a belly casting kit which I'm looking forwarde to doing, I haven't had one before so it'll be great to have to show the girls when they're older.

Well I think that's just about it....I'll leave you all with a pic of my belly.

Much love to all
xxxxxx

I learnt about nutrition in regards to lowering my BSL. It's not that I'm eating badly as ever since being pregnant I've totally gone off chocolate, soft drinks, chips, take away food, fatty foods....to the point that I just don't want to eat most days......that's where the problem is, I'm not fueling my body enough. So I'm on a strict 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. Grain bread and muffins, low fat yoghurt and milk, no refined sugars, so all sugars have to be from fruit and carbs. I also have a new doctor. The babies have to be even more closely monitored as diabetes can make them bigger than normal which is already obvious in twin B, her growth at the moment is quite substantial than twin A.

Hopefully diet alone will keep my BSL under control because if it doesn't then I'll have to go on daily insulin injections, which I really don't want to do! The good thing is that in most cases once the babies are born GD goes away, but I'll have to have another glucose tolerance test 6 weeks after they're born and then just be careful as I now have a higher chance of developing diabetes type 2 as I get older.

So there you go all.........these girls are certainly giving me a run for my money. Hopefully they're getting it all out of their system now and will be little angels once they're here

Much love to all.
Amanda xxxxxx

I'm now 25 weeks pregnant, it's going so fast. The girls are constantly moving which is just so amazing to feel especially when they move at the same time. Last week at my doctors appointment both girls were breach, meaning bum down and if they didn't move then it would mean a definate cesarean. So they were given a very good talking to by a friend of mine who told them to move or they would have a very unhappy mummy. Today at my ultrasound twin A is now head down......what a good girl she is. It was so wonderful to see them both moving around on the 4D screen, opening their mouths and moving their arms up and down. Twin B has her backside in twin A's face LOL. Hopefully that's not a sign of what's to come LOL. They're both good sizes or so I'm told, 800g and 900g.

It's now just over 3 weeks till my Mum gets back from the U.S and I can't wait........I've missed her so much!!!!!!!!  She's had and is still having a great time though so that's good, she doesn't want to leave but she also can't wait to come back. She better have some good pressies....LOL

Anyway that's all for now.....

xxxx

Apart from all that the babies are doing well, they have been quiet while I've been sick and don't move when mummy has to nap but have been quite active early evening while I'm laying on the sofa watching telly.

Amanda xxx

I had my doctors appointment today and got to see their tiny little heartbeats which was so wonderful. I had my widwife appointment 2 weeks ago but she didn't do the heatbeat as she said it can be difficult to make sure they don't scan the same baby twice, which I understood but was still very hard to deal with as it's that one way to reassure you everything is ok. So I aske dmy doctor today if she she could do it and she did. I have to see both my midwife and doctor every few weeks as it's a high risk pregnancy and of course I'll get a lot more scans done. Both babies have nice strong heartbeats, are head down and have a good amount of fluid around them. I have my scan in 3 weeks time which will be a long one as they obviously need to scan 2 babies, hopefully I get to find out the sex as well. Then I see my doctor the week after that.

Sickness wise I'm doing great and haven't been sick now for 3 weeks. I'm eating better which is so nice. Although the heat is just about killing me, I can't wait for winter. I had a lovely phone call tonight from one of my very good friends wanting to know if she can throw me a baby shower, I was so blown away and excited as I've never had one before but as she said, there are 2 to buy for this time so I'll need much more things. I was just so touched and so greatful.

On a sad note I took my Mum to the airport today to say goodbye as she's gone to the States for 3 months. I'm so going to miss her and miss talking to her everyday. I hate that she's so far away.

Much love to all xxxxxx

When I was pregnant with Zak we didn't find out what we were having and so did the whole pick names for both sexes list and we had about 10 girl names and no boy name that we could agree on. I was 8 months before we both agreed on "Zak". With Luke we planned on finding out but we still chose names for both sexes before hand and again had heaps of girl names picked out but only one boy name "Luke". This time we've already picked boys names without any problem but still no girl names. SO.........if my theory pans out I'm having at least one girl who I'm sure will remain unnamed for many months LOL. My Scan is booked for the 24th Feb so hopefully all legs will be wide open (babies of course) and we'll find out.

Amanda xxxx

The reason it's taken me so long to tell you guys is that I wanted to tell two very special people in person before I made it public. Janice and Steve have become very special people to my family and I and even though they knew I was pregnant they didn't know it was twins. So while we were back home we went and saw them and told them. I think they were both in major shock LOL They knew how much I wanted to have another baby but two babies is such a major adjustment, especially considering we are in Sydney and all our family are back in Coffs. It's going to be hard.

Anyway I'll leave it there for now and I'm sure Janice will blog about our visit.

I'll leave you all with some pics of our time with Janice and Steve.

So Luke and I go to work (pre-school) as Luke is there with me, and at about 11:00 I rang Nick at work to come and pick Luke up as he was just not himself and was whingy and slightly warm. Nick then went to pick up Zak from school to find he had been sent to sick bay in the morning but was then sent back to class not long after.....NO call was made to either Nick or I at work or on our mobiles. Luckily our doctor had a free spot at 3:30 this afternoon so Nick picked me up from work and off we went to be told Zak has sever tonsilitis..........How irresponsible are the school!!!!!!!!!!  I've had a problem any other time Zak has been unwell, they've always rung me to pick him up. I just can't get over that they had him in sick bay and then sent him back to class with no phone call.........Tomorrow morning when I ring to say Zak won't be at school they will be getting an ear full of a very angry Amanda!!!!!!!!  Luke also has a very mild case of tonsilitis.......my poor boys.....Zak has been in tears and can't even swallow ice-cream 

Amanda xxxxx

Anyway we got there about lunch time on the Monday and surprised Mum at work, she was so excited to see us I'm sure the old people got a lovely fright (mum works at a nursing home). Mum and stayed up quite late for the next few nights having a few drinks and catching up on everything and just laughing our little hearts out.

Luke just wanted to get to the beach....LOL Every morning he would wake up and say "Can we got to the beach today Mum?" and of course I was more than happy to oblige him. It was just what I needed.....to be laying on the sand soaking up the sun and listening to the waves......it was just what the doctor ordered. I've been homesick alot in the 10 years we've been in Sydney but I didn't realise just how homesick I was until I got there. I felt so happy and free and alive.......I would give just about anything to be able to move back.....I just hope fate makes it happen.

We also caught up with Janice and Steve, Luke went straight to Steve with a big hug.......I just can't believe that these two very special people live in the same place as my hubby's family and only 20 mins from where I grew up.....it's amazing, all these years they've been right under my nose and I didn't even know it, plus they even know my father-in-law (see Janice I didn't shorten it FIL) Oh and Janice I told him that you're happy to know he's doing well and still with us and he just laughed.....I think that's going to be the story told around the family table for many years to come. Anyway back to our visit with Janice and Steve.........It was just so lovely to see them both again and see for myself just how they both are and to feel their hugs........they are both 2 of the most amazing, caring, generous people I know. We feel like we're visiting family now. Also of course was the very important task of naming the new tractor as last time we were there Luke very spontaneously named their old tractor "Thomas" but he has since gone on to greener pastures to retire. So we get there and the un-named tractor is sitting there with a sign saying "My name is......" waiting for Luke. He doesn't take too long to decide though.....

Steve then took the boys for a ride around their property which the boys absolutely loved......Luke then asked Steve many time throughout the day to go for another ride.....which of course Steve did.....

Sadly though it all had to end........we came back to Sydney very reluctantly on Saturday. Not to worry, in 8 weeks we will be heading back for 4 weeks over the Christmas holiday's. It was just the best holiday ever.......I felt so happy and relaxed the whole time which Janice saw first hand.....and I can now see when looking the photo's of Janice and myself.....it's often when I like pics of myself and it's almost like I'd lost the real me their for a while......I even catch myself going back to have a sneak peak of myself....LOL

Thanks to all for reading and I hope you're all well.

xxxx

I can't tell you how happy and relaxed I am to be home.....not to mention tanned.....LOL

Soooo......Luke's birthday was Wednesday and it was such a great day. I spent Tuesday night decorating my Mum's house in balloons, streamers and a Happy Birthday banner. It was very sad to know that it was my babies last day of being 3. Luke woke up at 5:25am on Wednesday morning telling me it was his birthday and that I had to come and see the party.....lol. So Nick and I drag ourselves out of bed to come to the party........Luke was just so excited to see the decorations and was just running around the house kicking the balloons everywhere....

He the opened his pressies from us and from my Mum and had his favourite breaky of croissants and strawberry milk.

We eventually got ourselves ready and went to the in-laws where he got very spoilt. My MIL cooked Luke a chocky cake and we sung happy birthday and the Luke ate most of the cake on his own....LOL

I then cooked him his favourite dinner of Burritos and yet another chocky cake.....LOL. We're having a family BBQ tomorrow down the beach with all family which I can't wait for. So I'm sure there will be more pics to come.

I hope the holiday's are being good to you all (for those who are on holiday's)

Amanda xxxx

We're going to try and leave by 4am and so we'll be in Coffs by midday and I'll surprise Mum at work, she doesn't think we'll get there until evening time

It's a funny feeling that comes over me once we hit about Bellingen (30 mins out) and then we get to Coffs and drive up the hill past the Big Windmill and I suddenly feel like I'm home and I'm ME again. the air is different, the atmosphere is different and the people are different. I just can't wait. I have a new family member to meet, which will be very emotional but exciting.

We will be catching with my extended family of course........Janice and Steve, whom I adore and can't wait to catch up with again. There will be a naming ceremony also for the new tractor, which is Luke's job.....LOL We miss Thomas but I'm sure this new one will be just as special. Oh and Janice make sure there's space on your windows for Luke......LOL I'll make sure I bring some bourbons too. See you soon!!!!

Luke had his Pre-school birthday party today as it's not his birthday till next week but he had to ahve one with his friend's before we went away. He'll have another party in Coffs with all the family too down the beach.  I picked out one photo as the other's had all the other kid's in them.

This was yesterday and his fav thing to do is to play in the mud.....LOL

So please keep her in your thoughts and send all your positive vibes and prayers her way. She is just so beautiful and precious and deserves to have her wish come true.

Much love to all, 

Amanda xxxx