Well im sat here waiting for the police to knock my door. Yep her again .

You see im very talented on electric gguitar . (even though ive never played the stupid thing) . I can be in bed sleeping and also playing a electric guitar which i dont even have here because of this very thing, it 3 god damn miles away .

Not that i will tell them who it is but ive heard today that it was reece singing and playing spanish guitar and thats come from the horses mouth proberly cos i was in teas over it.

So now i have to wait for our housing manager and the police to turn up. Wheere i guess i will be issued court proceedings .

So now do you think they will say this is clearly harrassment . She doeesent know the guitar was me and it wasnt but yet i havethe blame on my shoulders ,

Im sick with being acussed of doing things im not even doing . Even if i did have an electric guitar here i wouldent have had it on last night as i was running out of electric and all shops  were shut .

ARGH  ARGH ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!

Guess what ? we been gettting MORE  compaints . No suprise there hey? Apparantly i had loud muic last sunday and monday. Which by the way is lies even though it was daytime and by law you are allowed loud music untill 11pm.

Someone has spat on neighbour from hells front door so im getting the blame for tht too. GREAT  . Following the last complaint i researched her to see what i could find out about her. It turnt out quite intererting now i get it . She is jealous OF MY GIRLS .  She lost he only daughter in 2003 whilst in the care of social services by her daughters choice now she is trying to get my kids taken away fromme .

I decided not to get mad . I then demanded mediation now im just waiting for them to agree to it. That should be interesting.

Chloe has loved her 1st week at nursery . They dressed up on thursday . Chloe was fifi . She made some bread with currents in that day too . I got A  picture of her eating it i will upload it late have to find the camera first.

Anyways im off i have to do the didhes now the girls have crashed .xxx

cheeky smile

She loks so grown up makes me all teary . xxx

So not fair i want my little baby back

Chloes starting nursery monday sob sob. She still seems far too young to be going nursery but i cant really argue with the law can i ? But im going to miss her so very much  I dont know what im going to do with myself? Im going to have to find something to fill up my mornings .The school are really understanding and to begin with if she really really wants me i can stay with heri n nursery or she can come home early and take days out if she needs too.

We are so attached to each othersnce she was born the only time we spend apart is when i have appointemtns or if im quickly picking up Kylie. She is a mummys girl throgh and through.

i wish I had the brains to teach er at home because tat would beproblm solved . I love her so so much even if she is a monkey at times ..... I just dont want to be away from er.

BUT  she is going to have an amazing time and make lots and lots of lovely friends ahe already has 3 friends from the bursery and she hasnt even started yet hehe,  She is sooo confident & socialable she will fit in just perfect.

I took some pictures of her in her uniform today she looks so so cute . Will post some pictures when i get the chance xxx

I love you & miiss you forever more .

Me and Barry have been having issues for   a while too so she did a few swabs for STI 's and everything else 5 swabs were taken altogether YUK . Well all came back clear so its back to the gynaecologist for me :( the doctor said if this is  the case and it is on the back of my right ovary then the ovary will need to be removed :(

Really exciting NOT !!

Can you believe it !!!! What a joke really this is really gettingon my tits now. All the cases of abuse you hear have gone undetected , yet i do nothing apart from struggle to get through everyday. As much as I struggle NEVER would i dream of hurting my kids , NEVER have they gone without food , NEVER have they gone hungry , NEVER have they gone thirsty , NEVER  have they gone without love & guidance.

I cant take 1 more complaint or report . Apparantly my house is a mess and my children are skinny.  Now this has infuriated me !!!! My kids are not to get up untill they have finnished their meals and they do eat most of their meals they are good eaters and i give them whatever they want between meals as long as their meal was eaten and apart from chloe not liking potato which can be a bummer they eat healthily.

Im not exactly a big person myself at the moment im a size 6 but my highest ive ever been is a 12 but i try not to go over a10. I only weigh 75.5 kg . Plus their dad is6ft tall and too very boney. So really is there any suprise my children arnt obese ? Isnt that why we are all supposed to eat our 5 a day so we arnt over weight . I dont find anything wrong with my childrens weight they are perfect in fact 6 months back i was worried as she was a bit on the chubby side.

As for my house being a mess well no it isnt actually its cluttered . Its not as if i just leave my housework cos i dont i am always doing something either rnning round after the kids tidying up , doing washing ,cooking and there is only 24 hours in a day i am not superwoman and no i dont have magic powers either . Plus if i get into a depressiom it will take half a day to clean 1 room .

I really cant stomach any more complaints of false reports . I dont do anything wrong , im just trying to survive but with these constant bogus complaints is making it very difficult for me . Its not my fault her daugter died dont get me wrong i do feel sorry for her for that but getting my kids taking off me isnt going to bring her daughter back. Im blamed for everything and im sic k to death with it.

Anyways im off now its gone midnight dn i have got to be up early tomorrow Kylie needs stuff for her lunchbox . My night out tomorrow YAY cant  wait xxx

ARGH I hate living here.

Someone is after my cat . Thing is this woman is in fairy land . She is a speed freak she got all her kids taken off her last year because of her addiction. Personally i dont have much time for her and if im honest she freaks me out. I will say hello but that is all.

Last week or so there has been a bowl down the road a bit with milk and the other day there ws cat biscuits in there . For those of you that dont know and arnt cat lovers my podge is ginger and a female if i hadnt got her done she would be worth quite a bit so that makes me anxious, i love my cayts.

Earlier it was confirmed i went to take pepsi up the lane for a wee and there she was calling come on rosery in you come come on and i looked andthere was my pdge ,,, so i called podgey baby come on and in she came and the woman totally disappeared!!!!

The cheek of it  , cant even let my cat out now. Fingers crossed i get 1 of the 4 houses i bidded on last week i really really need it. xxx

Sorry but you will have to excuse tthe spot hahahaha it wont go away its stress for you.

Anyway i got my teeth YAAY . I  feel a bit goofy right now but i can get used to that and they feel a bit weeird but i will get used to it i guess. Ive got enough saliva in my mouth to hydrate 5 dehydrated people i cant eat snowballs and its so hard to drink but i was to expect that anyway lol. Im just happy  that I HAVE TEETH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

According to this i breach NOISE , NUISANCE & HARRASSMENT.

Now I wouldent mind this at all if it was me. Do you know I have to spend every day telling my kids they need to be quiet , they cant shout , scream , run around , and i darent let chloe play with her guitar. Anything like this they get told to be quiet. Simply because my neighbour from hell will make a complaint, You would think with this being their home they could do al this stuff but they cnt,

Noise .

I breach noise for an Electric Guitar , Drums , Banging doors &/ walls

Electric Guitar - The last time Barry played his electric Guitar the complaintee was on holiday and it was in the daytime within the hours that you are by law allowed to make a noise. He has played his guitar 3 times in about as many months,

Drums - Unles its invisible there is NO drum kit. So how Ii can get a warning for that is beyond me.

Banging doors &/walls. - That one is true Kylie keeps on hitting the walls and slamming doors but its a kid thing. She is emotionally confussed at the moment half of her wants to meet up with her mother again the other half isnt so sure. So yeah she slams doors im trying to stop it but i cant stop it altogether well unless i take the door off but that is a big no no.

Nuisance .

I breach nuisance for Electric Guitar , domestic arguements to the point it can be heard outside the door , Loud music.

Electric Guitar - As explained above.

Domestic arguements tothe point it can be heard outuside the door - Yeah ok I will admit to that one we do argue but is that not normal ? We are only human and sometimes we dont get on its not as if i am the only one around here to argue. I HAVE A STEP DAUGHTER THAT WONT DO A THING SHE IS TOLD AND IS CONSTANTLY KICKING FOFF about something and her father doesent like discipline so we argue about it its all oveer within the hour there is never any screaming my kids are never directly present .

Loud Musci - Yeah i will have a blast out every now and then when im feeling low and need a pick me up me and the girls have a good little boogie not loud loud bbt eenough for us to enjoy ourselfs.

Harrassment .

I breach harrassment for threatening any tenants or visitors to the property about their age , gender disability , or race.

 Threatening any tenants or visitors to the property about their age , gender , disability or race. - Ive never heard so much croc if anything im the one being harrassed. Itsm e thats done absolutly everrything to stop complaints but that has only made them make things up.

The truth to the story is neighbour from hells hubby took stick out of the  door. Barry told him to leave communal door as it is open to get rid of the smell as no 60 has cancer and is having her bags full of urnined sheets etc is left outside her front door. He claimed he dont like thedoor open because of wind well wedont like the smell neither does anyone who visits us. he then blamed the smell on us which led to barry then suggestingif he shuts it again he will take it of altogether. He then said he was going to report him for threatening him when barry said that he was not threatening him he was threatening the door .

Then yesterday our housing manager rekons the evening before being weds she was outside for 40 mins between 5.30 - 6.10pm unable to get the police to attend she had to leave.Well the funy thing is at 5.30 i was on the phone to my keyworker her phone does not lie and at 5.40 anne knocked at my door and told me to listen somebody was playing guitar she said i bet you get blamed well guess what ?? i did apparamtly it was coming from here . Yet it was silent here i couldent play guitar if i tried and barry wasnt even here .

Sound meters that record everyones decibels is being fitted i cant wait cos IT AINT ME!!!

Why ??? Because after ive been to bed 6 more times i get my teeth.........PERFECT teeth.

My teeth have NEVER been so perfect and they fit perfect too.

i so cant wait. I cant believe its only 6 more days .

Only short today but i guess i better go Kylies gotta be at trampolining in an hour . Though she ha been sat with her brekfast for the last 2 hours. Its soggy now and she is just out to wind me up . To be honest im really fed up with this every week and i went and got her a new outfit yesterday for trampolining and really i dont know hy i bother i bet he kicks off again this week.

I am not seeing my phycologist anymore havent for about 6 weeks now. But she set me up with a phyhiatrist . Little did i know it was at waverley house where i weent 9 months ago and they  told me they couldent help me because my problems were too deep. Seems i have got worse since then i have a feeling its still gonna be the same. They sent me an appointment and i never went they sent me another so i rang up and explained i didnt want any appointment and that i wont be attending waverley house at all. Anyways when i told barry he said i need the help and i should give it a go and he rang back and uncancelled my appointment . So i have to go monday argh. Anne is going to come with me though she knows everything anyway well most of it. Nothing that will change anything between us. Then tuesday im speaking to her phychiatrist from the same place and she may be able to see me at annes that way no ears are about. As anne has told her about the way ive been . I think im beyond help to be honest but we will see cant give up.

I finally broke the friendship between me & Leonie . F-or good this time there is no going back. Its been a long time coming really. The end of it was she told barry i had some male friends on FB and told him to check up on me good friend huh ? she kept slagging me of to anne and of course anne told me , then one day she rang up accusing  me of having som prroblem with her i knew it was coming and i asked her why i should be pissed with her and then she started on about me having an attitude problem my god its real childush so i told her that if all she called for was an arguement not to bother ringing my phone again . now kev phones haha i saw her last week couldent even look at her but said to her that i do love her to bits and wish her all the happiness and all that but there is no friendship anymore she is a evil bitch and thats the end of it over done forgotton. Im better off without her. She knows she is wrong she just cat admit it cos she is so cold.

I got fed up of staying home every night with the kids . So now every tuesday me Anne , Lisa & Karen now go tothis pub up the road for a drink then after we go and see some mediums . Its differant people every week some are brilliant some are rubbish never the less we always have a good night . Plus it isnt too expensive drinks , £2 entry andd £1 for raffle tickets and i usually win a prize on the raffle haha.

Kylie ; Well K isnt my favourite person at the moment . Very defiant , demanding and very mouthy . Tantrums dont exsist anymore she just trashes her bedroom , hates me , hits chloe , slams doors and shouts. I thought this is what you get from teenagers not 6 year olds argh.

Been trying to get her into trampoling 1st week she loved it 2nd week didnt want to go i made her as i knew she would enjoy it daddy took her and brought her back she refused to go 3rd week i took her stayed 10 mins went off she loved it found a friend. 4th week i took her again her friend wasnt there , it was her turn to run would she run ? nope . would she exercise to warm  up no in the end she just burst into tears and said iw ant to go homei couldent stomach anymore and called her out. Apparantly all the tear were cos her friend from the week before wasnt there i explained she couldent putu this other child on the spot like that . It isnt fair. Anyway she wasnt prepared to try so we went home. I was so embarrassed but still never mind . Wasted money that was.

Kylie has lost 2 teeth now bless her she was braver this time no real tears daddy pulled it out as it was annoying her and just hanging there and of course she wanted the tooth fairy to come LOL.

Chloe: Well chloe is just chloe really . She is enjoying being a big girl and loves helping me do the housework love her. She issuch a mummys girl.

She starts nursery in october notthat i am looking forward tothat.

I better go Kylie has woke chloe up so all hell is breaking loose. Argh bloody kids x

the beginning of mr snake

A funky looking lizard

These Baboons were so cute they kept fightin well untill the mumma came and sorted them out hehe.

Theres mumma when she sorted her babies out haha

Peacock

Mr scary crocodile believe me he was big.

Pretty crocodile

BIG snakey

Orange Utan they were very sweet.

Cute little monkeys the one in front is being checked for fleas gave me the giggles.

zebra

Camels.

Argh minti wont let me pload any morre pics so i will just have to stick with what i got i got heaps and heaps of photos . Hope you l ike the ones i was able to upload

xxx

Then today we we nt to paignton zoo but i am gonna have to blog about that tomorrow cos i am SOOOOO tired i need my bed i forgot how big that zoo is it took 5 hours to see everything i am so knackered.

Anyways heres some pics that i took today.

This is one of the oldest houses in Ashburton its also where my dear Nan was born .

Me

Kylie

Chloe

Nans badge / magnet i got her for mothers day.

Me and my adopted mummy Anne.

OK im off my dad is here and i am being very rude xx

Oh dear tooth hanging out !!!! Now i cant send her to bed with tooth hangingout so we had to beg her to let us pull it but no she wasnt having none of it she wantted to do it herself

So we let her get on with it supervised of course. I said pull it backwards . She did !!!! Guess what ???

1 healthy tooth and a bloody hand LOL she is sooo proud of herself. I am proud of her too yes there were ots of tears but it was expected .

YAY there is the gap she is so proud of ready for her big tooth.

I best get her into the bath and off to bed ready for the tooth fairy to come and visit her,

Love you Kylie Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have a further upcoming 3 appointments 18th august i will be having some work done on the teeth i already have. Some of you might remember me saying the hospital left a tooth that was meant to go. Anyway that tooth is getting whitened and filled and the other 3 upper teeth and my front teeth are bein whitened too .

1 week later just to make sure my mouth hasnt changed too much so its 100% this denture will fit. Then on the 1st september its smiling time i get my dentures fitted

YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT WAIT

Love Emz xxx

I had chloe in our bed for the 1st 3 nights as her breathing was very very heavy though the doctor said it was fine it realy scared me . She was breathing the way nanny was the day she died I was checking her every 10 mins or so . She wwas very restless and i didnt want her to keep kylie awake either,

I dont think anybody took any notice of me telling them Chloe was diagnosed with swine flu because they all still came round anyway . They were actually more interested in making sure Chloe was alright other than worrying that they are going to catch swine flu. Though i can now safely (i think ) say nobody else has caught it.

I must say though i am suprised i never caught it with my immune system being so low at the moment the doctor saisd i was most at risk as i havent been eating properlly etc, though i am eating a bit better now as i can eat sandwiches as long as it is soft . Mind you i have big difficulties and it gets stuck and all sorts everyone seems to think its funny funny thing is i dont its annoying,

Anyways im off just thought i wuld just quickly blog and let you all know chloe is almost recovered from the swine flu . I am job hunting seeems Chloe starts nursery october 5th i thought  may as well go back to work you never know it might solve my anxiety problems, :)

Love Emz xxx

Kylie isnt impressed its meant to be her last dayat school but because she has come into contact with swine flu she couldent go. So yesterdaywe took her some choccies to saythank you for such a successful year and to say goodbye as she is now moving away to germany this weekend . If it wasnt for her fantastic teaching skills kylie would not have got the report she did . In september she wAAS REALLY REALLY  struggling now at the end of the year she is top of the class . I must say it is the best teacher she has had yet.

Me well I had my dentist appointment monday what a palava . I asked anne to come along lucky  for me else i would have qwalked away no appointment or anything. I cant believe how rude the receptionists are . Anyway my appointment was actually at 11.20 but i had to be there for 11am cos i had forms to fill out i was there at 2 mins to 11 . T-he receptionist rekoned my apppointment was at 10-35 but my diary tells me differant so because i was 25 mins late for an hour appointment she wouldent book me in . They said they cant fit e in again until either sept  or october i ended up walking out in tears while anne tried to sort it out . Its stupid its not as if i want a filling or a tooth out i want some god damn teeth and they told anne hospital wont help me funny that seems my dr referred me there to get it done and i have an appointment for 20th august . Then i t will take 16 weeks from my first sitting  so its gonna be november before i get any teeth. Nice huh? All i want is some bloody teeth so that i can eat properly

Anyway i best get off here Chloe is crying and needs some mummy love poor baby.

Love Emz xxx