For those who are curious, it's a custom motorcycle and specialty trailer building business - kinda like OCC, but with specialty trailers as well as bikes, and no Mikey or temper tanties (well, we'll see about the tanties, Ron is good at tanties. LOL)

Caio!

I am constantly finding people telling me that they aren't in a good situation to become involved in a realtionship. I say to them, what that man said to me:

"If that person is really the right one for you, your relationship with them will survive the hard times, and holding off on it won't change that. Don't waste the time you have to be happy with someone special, after all, you only have one lifetime to share."

Just thought I'd share that with you.

I'm bored.

I'm freakin freezing!

My shoulder hurts.

I'm bored.

Aidan's bike needs repair already, dammit, I knew I'd be paying for it forever!

I'm bored.

I can barely feel my feet.

I'm trying to remember what frostbite feels like.

My back is aching.

I'm bored.

My shoulder is stiff and really sore and making all sorts of strange grinding popping noises when I move it.

I'm still bored.

OMFG my shoulder hurts!

The last time I was this cold I was knee deep in snow.

I want a new shoulder.

I'm going to go and see if I can defrost in a hot shower and try to avoid getting chill banes on my feet in doing so, or I'll have more to complain about tomorrow. At least it'll give me something to do and I won't be so cold and bored.

Okay, admission time, I had a breakdown yesterday but I didn't get admitted to hospital. I'm giving up breastfeeding Danny and going back on my medication at full-doses. My memory of the past 3 months is a bit fractured and foggy in a lot of parts, and the past week or so is almost totally gone, but that happens when ya brain conks out.

I've got a lot of making up and catching up to do. My house looked like a bomb hit it yesterday, and OMG have I got some apologies to give to Ron! I think I've treated him like total crap of late... some of the things I've found on my computer suggest so anyway! And some editing work I was supposed to do for my brother, IF I did it at all, I did a really bad job of it!

If in the past... I can't even remember how long! Okay, if we cover all bases and say since the start of March... if I've seriously upset, offended, or confused anyone, I'm really really really sorry - unless I meant it. LOL If I did any such things, let me know and i'll let you know if it was me or my insanity talking.

Will blog more later. Taking it easy for a while, so if I seem to snob you on msn, don't take it personally, I'm either not here or wanting to just concentrate on one thing at a time and I'm already pre-occupied. I'll catch up with everyone eventually.

Do not attempt to mix spirits with soda when chatting to simplyme01ca on msn. She is such a distraction that it makes doing so potentially hazardous to one's health.

I was chatting away on msn, and I was about to pour myself one big chill out glass of Canadian Club and Coke to sip on for half the night. I put in my 2 nips of CC, was about to fill it with coke and I got carried away chatting and typing....

Then I went to put in my two nips off CC into the glass but had a bit of coke left over from the last drink I had, so I sculled that down first... or rather the double shot of CC that I'd forgotten I already put in the bottom of the glass!!!!

My eyes bugged out, my face went tomato, my mouth turned into niagra falls in the saliva department, I couldn't breathe, and I don't think my throat is going to recover for a while. I think simplyme01ca is going to take a while to recover laughing at me about it as well, because my first comments after doing that were AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

OMFG!!!!

hang on when I can breathe again I'll type...

and several minutes later I got back to the computer. In the meantime she's asking whats wrong, am i okay, what's going on, and cracking jokes which made it even harder for me to get my breath back.

CC is a drink to sip or to mix, it's not one for sculling down two full nips of in one hit.

Do not drink and drive a computer, it's dangerous.

Some things that haven't helped are being told: Go away and get yourself together - thanks for the support! I've got enough of my own problems and I don't want to hear about yours - thanks for the support! I need time to myself and I don't want you around for a while - thanks for the support! Oh well, at least I know who my real friends are and who understands me best and who to not bother turning to for any kind of emotional support ever again.

Thanks to my Minti friends - you know who you are - for helping me stay as sane as possible - which is a tough thing to do even on the best days - and talking to me when I needed you and leaving me alone when I needed that too.

Danny is three months old today. Oh gees, that time has flown by! I'll have to invest in a high chair and start feeding him solids all too soon!

Aidan is... well... he's just Aidan. He hasn't done anything extraordinary since I last blogged.

I'm over the flu but for a cough, so all okay again there as well.

Not much to say really, well, not without going on a huge rant, which I'm really not in the mood for atm.

So now it's just a waiting game for him to heal up and recover and all the pain and waiting will be gone and things should be a lot better. PHEW! I wasn't sure if my nerves were going to surive any longer!

got loose nuts. need a jack.

His latest recent development is that he's starting to want for his toys. He'll stare and try to reach for them if they are in view. He loves his wrist rattles and will wave his arms in the air when he wants them. He loves his little blue teddy and will grizzle and try to hug everything in reach when he wants that one. He wiggles himself over to his rocker swing and then grizzles when he can get so close but can't get into it.

At the moment he's very content. He's in his swing, cuddling his blue bear in one arm, shaking and chewing on his wrist rattle on the other, staring up at his little mobile, and kicking his rocking tinkling penguin at his feet, all wrapped up in his favourite blankie after a big feed and he's struggling to keep his eyes open now.

Happy little baby. Yay!

I'm totally ashamed of myself.

I'm guilt struck and remorseful.

I feel completely horrible.

I could not possibly be anymore deeply sorry than I am at the moment.

For a while now Ron and I have had some difficulties off and on. He's always told me I could tell him anything, and so I'd tell him how I was feeling, and he hasn't responded much at all to me about any of it. He's been getting more and more distant and I couldn't understand why. This has been making me very paranoid and it's made me feel worse than ever. We've had a few arguements, things would get resolved, but things would kind of fall apart again later on down the track. We have come close to breaking up a few times. His mood has been shocking and he's really been in a bad place. Tonight I fully realised why. It's my fault.

I was listening when he was telling me how he was feeling, but as guys do, they don't say much on the emotional side of things as to why, they might say what they feel, but often won't say why. I was telling him how I was feeling and of late a lot of it hasn't been particularly good at all. Where I have made a huge mistake in regards to our relationship, something that has been getting him down badly, is that I haven't differentiated between how I am feeling and how he makes me feel. So he's been thinking that many of my negative thoughts and feelings have been caused by him. It's not true. Sure, many were triggered by things he said or did or didn't do when he should have, but it's not his fault.

It's not his fault that negative thoughts, feelings, and even full-on flashbacks can be triggered in me by the simplest of things, and he's not the only one that does it to me. It's not his fault I have had too many bad experiences that my mind falls back on when I'm faced with something that reminds of something bad in the past. Its not his fault he doesn't fully understand everything about my mental illness and how the most innocent things can send me over the edge.

I've told him what things he's said or done or didn't do that he should have that have upset me, but I was only telling him what it was so he didn't inadvertently keep doing those things when he didn't mean to. So the poor guy has been thinking that he's seriously hurting and upsetting me a lot. It's not him at all, I know he doesn't mean it, and it's the fault of all the other mongrels that have hurt me in the past that is causing my pain, not Ron. But he doesn't realise that, and he's reacting accordingly. And fair enough too.

The worst part is, I have totally overlooked something even more important. Not once in the past couple of months that we've been having these difficulties have I told him honestly how he makes me feel.

I'm going to rectify that problem. I'm now frustrated because he's gone for the long weekend and I won't be able to communicate with him until Tuesday night. I so badly want to tell him now. I guess I have to learn some patience.

I didn't know that was a sore spot. We'd occassionally make jokes about the differences in terminology. I was perpetually calling the garage the shed and getting stirred up about it. Okay, granted, there is a difference. Just like there is actually a difference between tomato sauce and ketchup. Anyway, I wouldn't argue over being "corrected" on these things. I couldn't see the point. I'd throw a pretend little tanti act about being wrong and he'd laugh. G'Day, Bonjour, Guten Tag, it's all the same thing! Why argue? And what's the harm in having a few jokes about it? My ex and I used to have joke sessions about differences in terminology all the time, and we laughed, it was funny. What I didn't know was that this wasn't the case with Ron and his ex. She would correct him - seriously - and argue - seriously. WTF? WHY? Cause she's [insert many not-nice adjectives here] I guess.

So having been in a marriage where it wasn't a joke, it was a serious arguement that gave him no end of grief, has left him with a nasty sore spot with regards to that sort of thing. It may seem a bit hypocritical for him to then "correct" me on things, but that's more of a habitual thing for him now, he doesn't really mean to, and I don't care, besides, the things he "corrects" me on there is actually a difference and it is just a joke. A joke is a joke, but he could take it as being corrected like his ex would do if it's not worded right, especially if he's in a bit of a foul mood. I fully understand that and how it's not just something someone can get over at the drop of a hat. Anyone thats been through a rough time will have a few sore spots that others can inadvertently and innocently trample all over. Okay, so now that I know about that, I know how to avoid it.

So how did this arguement evolve? Once I knew what the problem was, why didn't I just apologise and stop the arguement? Because I didn't find out about this until the arguement was in full swing. I had upset him by trampling on a sore spot I wasn't aware of. Then he trampled all over one of mine that he wasn't aware of. NEVER compare me to being like his ex - unless you want your head torn off. I'll just let you imagine how that went down.

But in the end it resolved a heck of a lot of issues for both of us, because by about 3am we were calm and talking about our problems properly and gaining a far better understanding of each other, so it all ended up good, if anything it's better.

I will still always claim that buffalos don't have wings, just as I will claim that fish don't have fingers, and as for scotch finger biscuits - lets not even go near that one shall we! LOL But I know to take it easy with those jokes around Ron now. And he knows better than to make any kind of comparisson of me to his ex - unless of course it's to say we're nothing alike! LOL

Now I'm not going to Mildura to meet up with Cindy and Adam. The timing is so crappy. Her BiL's funeral was today, and to shoot through that afternoon and leave her sister alone right after a funeral didn't sit so well with Cindy, and that's fully understandable. They've had illnesses run rampage through the family, flus and gastro, etc; and they're running out of sick days at work, and still all recovering from that. I've got a nasty enough flu I'm not game to get behind the wheel of a vehicle atm, let alone drive to another city. How many more things do we need to stop the weekend from going as planned? Okay, so it's cancelled, we get the point, now untangle our fates and make something good happen!!!

Ron got lucky this weekend however. I should let him brag about this, but he's not near a computer and probably wouldn't bother to, so I'll ramble about it while I'm here. Hehehehehe! He's a marshal for motorcycle races, and he's constantly getting called up to help out at races all over the place, and most of the time it's volunteer, he often doesn't get paid, that depends on the event though. He's not well, his shoulder surgery is next week, his shoulder has now totally collapsed and the agony is killing him. He's told those that need to know - and they still asked him to drive to Brisbane for a motorcycle race this weekend! HUH? They just don't get it do they? In frustration, he sarcastically said, if they give him return airfares, accommodation, a hire car to use while he's there, and $XXX a day to do it, he'll think about it. Guess what? They did! He couldn't knock it back, he'd regret it forever if he knocked that back. So he's in Brisbane wandering around a racetrack as Clerk of the Course this weekend, he left today, gets back Tuesday. So next time someone expects a bit to much from you, sarcastically retort with demands that will make it worth it. You never know, you just might get it! LOL

Aidan. Oh dear! My brave little accident prone man. He fell off his Harley (pushbike) and the gravel road got in the way of his knee as he fell. Oowies. He hops inside all stressed out and tells me calmly what happened and showed me his knee. Okay, in the bath, wash off all the dirt and blood and lets have a better look. He can't bend it. It's starting to swell. Oh dear, looks like we might have a bit of a dislocation here. His knee looked okay, but the fact that he claimed he couldn't bend it concerned me. Okay, lets get him to the hospital. That word was enough to make him suddenly not only able to bend it but walk on it as well. PMSL Okay, cancel that plan, just bandage it up and sit and rest and we'll check it out in the morning.

I just got an anon call on my mobile. Someone who wouldn't identify themself properly, just a lot of background noise like a party, loud music, and kids screaming into the phone, wanted me to accept reverse charges at ridiculas call rates. YEAH RIGHT!!! Tell me who you are properly and clearly and I'll think about it!!! Better yet, give me your number and I'll call you back! In fact if you want to call my mobile and remain anon, stuff off! Tell me who you are and I'll answer.

Flu. Sniffle, cough, sneeze. I still feel like crap, but it's starting to lift a little. All the flem blocking up my nose and lungs is starting to move and be expelled in large quantities. I've got a bag full of used tissues here now. LOL But that means I'm getting better and it's starting to clear up. YAY! Though I'm not going to make plans just yet as it could come back and bite me later and I'll suddenly get worse again. I've been sleeping a lot more, if you could call laying in bed totally zoned out and not fully aware of things around you "asleep". But hey, it's better than my usual 2 hours a night.

Today while it was still warm and dry again I took the little fella for a walk to the shop, on the way I called into the local service station and thanked the guy there for bringing my car back etc; and asked if I owed him anything for it. $100 all up. He was stunned when I said I'd pay for it right then and there. He was happy for me to just bring it around when I had the money to spare. HUH??? Who runs a business like that? On trust? WOW! This place is getting better all the time.

That's about it from me for today. Aidan wants the computer for a while so I'll do my usual roam minti responding to stuff later on if I'm still conscious.

Oh well, in preparation for going down there I got my car serviced on Monday. The choke was stuffed and they removed it rather than charge me $200 to replace it. Cars don't really need chokes, they just make it easier to start the car... so long as the fuel pump works properly. Of course mine didn't. I got it home, parked it, and the next day try as I might I couldn't get the bloody thing to start - and yes I do know how to flood start a car. So the next day I phoned them back. The guy came round, we got her started, I took her back. He was going to replace the fuel pump or fix it, would cost no more than $60 if indeed he did have to replace it new and couldn't find a spare one floating around the shop. I woke up this afternoon and my car is in my driveway again. Now that's what I call service! This is all from the service station around the corner from me that I blogged about how they actually come out and fill your tank for you when you go there. I think I ended up deleting that blog, but some of you might remember it. Never buying fuel anywhere else in town but there again, screw the cost, it's worth it to support a business that supports it's customers like that.

I slept most of the day. Feels weird to sleep so long. It's a good thing, except that it makes it hard to get stuff done. Like fill in and take down forms to Centrelink that I should have done over 2 weeks ago. Oh well, stuff them, they'll get them when I'm capable of handing them in.

Just had a nasty little anxiety attack half an hour or so ago. Talking to Ron online and there was a huge rough patch that we went through about a month ago, and there's still unresolved issues and I just gave up and decided to just carry on and hope it didn't come back to bite me in the arse. He wanted to know what the problem was, I told him, only because he insisted I do. He can't remember much of it at all apparently. I don't know whether he's lying or his memory is just shot to hell, so I'm going to give him benefit of the doubt and assume he was just so sick and with the medications he's been on screwing with his head and all, he kept forgetting things like doctors appointments and the like at the time, so maybe he was just going off the rails and can't remember much about it. Heck, I've been like that (never did any of the things he did, but I do know what it's like to behave strangely and not remember much of it) so I have to give consideration to him for it. But having to tell him dragged up feelings from a very bad weekend that damn near killed me, and sent me into a nasty anxiety attack.

Oh if only he could understand what it was like! He has no idea, poor bugger. "Don't do that." Don't do what? "Have an attack like that." Oh yeah, okay, I'll just switch it off because I can do that. Got myself calm enough to at least continue the convo, then when he had to tick off again I came straight here. Still a little rattled, some horrid thoughts are rattling through my head, but I'm holding it steady enough.

Aidan's gone to see his little girl friend from yesterday. She wasn't at school today apparently and he's worried about her, bless his heart. Not much else to speak of atm.

I've got the flu and I feel like shit. I wouldn't be surprised if my brain starts oozing out my nose at some point.

Anxiety and paranoia have been kicking me in the butt off and on lately, getting triggered off by the smallest and strangest things. I'm fighting it off with logic and reason, but it keeps coming back, as usual. Push it to the back of my mind and answer a Q&A on Minti now and then and it helps get my mind off things and keep me sane  - as sane as I can be anyway.

Danny is now immunised up-to-date and survived the day just fine. He weighs 6.27 kgs now, which puts him in the 75th percentile. I could have sworn his height was measured at 65 cms, could have sworn thats what she said as well, but she wrote it down afterwards as 58 cms. I dunno, and the mood I'm in I really don't care atm.

In fact I don't care about very much at all atm. Apathy rules supreme in my mind right now.

Had a weird little experience today. Aidan got home from school and shot through to God knows where on his bicycle for an hour. Then all of a sudden this quite cute little girl, about 5 yrs old, who I'd never seen or heard of before, wanders in my back door like she owns the place, politely says hello, and sits herself on the lounge. WTF??? I was stunned and just watched her, having no idea quite what to say or do. Then a few minutes later, the kid from across the lane wanders in the back door as well. Okay, at least I know where he comes from! Then Aidan wanders in. Ah ha! That explains everything... except who this little girl is and where she comes from. As it turns out she lives up the lane way in the next block, and is in kindy at Aidan's school. Okay cool. Now what is a 5 year old girl doing wandering around the neighourhood in the care of an 8 year old boy? The 7 year old across the lane I can understand, after all it's only 20 metres from my front verandah to his. The parents know he's okay here, and Aidan and this boy are always visiting each other. But a 5 year old girl from over a block away who I've never heard of let alone seen? Oh well! At least while she's here I know she's safe... whoever she is. She politely asked me if I could tell her when it's half-past 5 because that's when she had to go home. Okay, cool. 5:20 came round and I let the kids know and Aidan walked her home like a true little gentleman, getting her back home well in time. I'm still sitting here scratching my brain trying to figure out how it is that Aidan can not only befriend young girls so easily, but encourage their parents to let them go with him places...??? It's like he has taken charm to the level of being a superpower. Oh well, at least I know he will look after her and not let her get into trouble, and was smart enough to bring her here rather than go elsewhere. He does tend to "big brother" all younger kids after all. God help me when he's a hormonal teenager!

I'm feeling sorry for Ron. Not just because he's in pain (shoulder surgery next week, about bloody time!) and all that stuff, but because the poor bugger has to put up with me and my horrible all too often go off the rails for a bit mentally ill pain in the arse rants and moods and general BS that comes with the territory.

There haven't been too many times in the past 20 years or so where I haven't gone to sleep at night and hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning, and then woken up and my first thought has been "Damn! I'm still here." It's become very normal to think that way for me. I don't just think about wiping myself off the face of the planet when I'm very depressed, or stressed, or anxious, paranoid, upset, etc. A lot of the time I think about it and want to die peacefully just because I've been here long enough and simply couldn't be bothered sticking around any longer. How screwed up is that??? Even I sit here wondering, why the hell do I think like that?

When I was in hospital after having Danny I was hit with a migraine from hell for 4 days and OMG I was unwell! I thought I was going to die, I really did. It actually frightened me, but not because I was scared of dying, but because I didn't want to leave Ron in a situation where he'd be wondering what the hell to do with an 8 yr old that just lost his mother and a newborn baby! Yeah, my mind is screwed. I'm the first one to give people an endless supply of reasons why they shouldn't consider suicide, and yet I do it all the time for the most strange and ... well... no reason at all really. I can't help it. I guess when I tell others not to it kind of reminds me why I'm not allowed to do it as well. Except that the whole thing of you're just in a bad place atm and it'll go away soon reason doesn't really apply to me cause I don't only think of it only when in a bad way. I can be perfectly happy and my thoughts will be along the lines of now would be a good time because then I can go out feeling good about things, kind of like leaving a party while everyone is still enjoying themselves rather than stick around too long and have to put up with the drunken fights and people crying over trivial things and generally spoiling the mood. OMG!!! What is with that?

And Poor Ron cops it. He made the mistake of telling me I could talk to him about anything, then I go sending him emails now and then telling him what I'm really thinking and feeling and oh gees! I think I should shut up and pretend everything is all fine and dandy like I normally do, cause I don't want to bring him down and burden him, especially not in his condition. But then I'm not stupid, I know he's not stupid, if I suddenly shut up he'd know something was seriously wrong.

So I'm going to start blogging more often instead I think. Everyone else can blog about what is really going through their head, stuff it, so will I. Just do me a favour folks and don't go all worried and soppy on me with your comments, that just makes me feel bad, and that's frustrating. I've survived 35 years so far, it's all normal for me, there's no reason why I wouldn't still be here blogging away in anther 35 years time... except that would make me 70 by then... what's the average life span again?

Blah.

Firstly there is my (biological) brother, Gary. You can't have him though because he's got a girlfriend, and she must be pretty darn special for him to take time out of his incredibly busy life to spend any with her. I'm lucky, my brother and I are also friends, we get along well and keep in fairly regular contact - if we're both on msn at the same time and actually have something to say to each other. LOL We generally don't go talking about personal issues, our romantic interests, etc; I think it's largely because we just weren't raised that way. He's one of the hardest working guys I know, he's a drummer and drum teacher, and he works more jobs than you can poke a stick at. He's a natural metronome and extremely skilled in his specialty (drums), but he's also incredibly modest about it... most of the time.

There's my ex-hubby, Jamie. You can have him! He's a decent enough bloke, he just had a few self-centred habits that being part of my family just didn't work well with. We still keep in contact and still get along well - most of the time, but admittedly I think that is more for the sake of our son than anything. But for the sake of our little boy I still consider him part of my family, just a little more distantly is all. I couldn't tell you what he does for a living atm because he seems to change jobs like most people change underwear! He is a man of extremes, he can either be a great listener and care deeply, or he totally switches of and the rest of the world doesn't even exist. He can be the laziest slob you've ever seen or he can work so hard it's exhausting just to watch him. There is no middle ground with him.

There is also Danny's father, Dews. You can have him too. He was like a brother to me for over 20 years, then we decided to enter a relationship and have a child and the child worked but nothing else did. At one point I wanted to kill him, but I'm over that now. He's a self-professed dirtbag and lazy arse, but he's not really. He's another one that can work damn hard when it's required of him, and he's about the best friend anyone could ever hope to have. He makes a great friend and a decent father and I don't know anyone that would disagree with me on that. But he makes a really lousy boyfriend and I can't think of too many people that would disagree with me on that either. He's a full-time carer for his mother, and how he manages to stay sane living with her is beyond anyone's comprehension - okay, admittedly he's not totally sane, but he's not dangerous - just don't piss him off.

Then there's a friend of mine who has known me for just as long as Danny's father has, Bernard. Last I heard he was available as well so you can probably have him too. He's on a disability pension and is a lazy lump, but at least he can pick up after himself even if he can't do it for anyone else. We don't see each other as much as we probably should, but I consider him to be like family as well. We were bf/gf when I was all of 16 yrs old and it ended a little bitterly, but we somehow managed to stay friends and as the years went on our friendship grew healthier again. There's been a few times over the past 20 years we entertained the idea of getting back together but it never happened, and some time ago now we fully agreed that it wasn't ever worth thinking about again. He's a great drinking buddy and I blame him for corrupting my soul and making me evil. It's not really his fault, but I have to blame someone right? LOL There have been a lot of rumours and questions about our "relationship" over the years, all total crap, and we love getting together with a bottle of booze and trading stories about what we've heard that we apparently got up to together that we can't remember doing.

There's also my friend Adam. You can't have him however. He's the hubby of one of my dearst friends and I'm friends with both of them equally. I spend hours chatting him up... ummm.... chatting to him (hehehehe! I'm kidding, we don't flirt) on msn, probably more so than I talk to anyone else most days. His missus gets jealous of it, not because we're talking or what we talk about, but because she can't get the time to talk to me as often has he does. LOL He works in the disability services industry, and when he's not at work (and often messaging me because he gets frustrated by the stupidity of some people and trying to stay sane) and not with his family, he can be found riding around on his bike at high speed.

Then there's my friend Ron (yeah, there's more than one), whom I call Snuffy (as in Mr Snuffleufagus from Sesame Street - if you saw him you'd understand. LOL) You can't have him either because he has a girlfriend, and with a nickname like Dragon she's not one to be challenged! She's also a good friend of mine, and it's my fault they are together. Hehehe! He works in a factory, and has been my "big brother" since the day I met him... about 21 years ago. He is about as boringly average as a guy can get, but he has a heart of gold (and I don't mean cold, hard and yellow). He has a tendancy to dub me with every pet name in existance, including "my love", "my sweet", "precious" etc; all the pet names you'd usually expect a guy to call his girlfriend, so that has confused some people now and then, questions get asked, and both me and his girlfriend fire up in joint defence - and that isn't pretty believe me. We're bad enough individually, put us together and piss us off and even I get frightened! LOL We don't communicate anywhere near as often as we probably should, but even after years of not hearing from each other we tend to always pick up the conversation where we left off last.

Then there's my "brother" Fats. You can have him if you're brave enough. LOL He's a long-haired heavy-metal loving biker type that in recent years has been getting around on a scooter because the silly bugger lost his licence. There is nothing funnier than seeing a long-haired beared rough looking tattooed bloke that should be on a huge Chopper, buzzing down the road on a little electric scooter. PMSL He's a genuine bloke that calls a spade a spade and doesn't go pretending to be anything that he's not. He's big into the local music scene and he's always got some strange project going on, and everytime he says come see him anytime and I go there the dirty of bugger has gone out! But at least he turns up to almost all the parties. Can't miss out of a few drinks with ya mates after all!

There's also my former neighbour, Jesus. He has a girlfriend who is about as friendly and bubby and cute as a girl can get, so you can't have him. He's a weird mix of a guy. He's an undeniably quiet type who hosts the best, noisiest, and most outrageous late night parties. He's a long-haired heavy metal loving big kid that comes to visit and then spends most of his time playing with Aidan's toys in the playroom, whether Aidan is here or not. LOL He's currently studying film and is another one that always has some weird project going on. He is loyal to the bone to his friends and supports them in whatever it is they do in whatever ways he can.

Next there's my friend, Sowdo. You can have him, but I'm not sure if he'd know what to do with you. LOL He's young, crazy, strange, and another long-haired heavy metal loving freak. He's a tafe student studying hospitality, and is relatively average as far as guys go. One of his strangest traits is that he has a tendancy to slouch a lot in such a way that it makes him not that much taller than me, and you wouldn't know he was slouching, then he suddenly grows to over six-feet tall when he stands up straight. It's quite amusing to watch someone picking on him and then see their reaction as he straightens up and they suddenly find they have to look up to him. LOL Despite his rough appearance, he's a big softy at heart and he can't get enough cuddles from Danny. Aidan adores him as well.

And finally there's the most significant of all, my boyfriend, Ron. You definately can't have him! He is without question the most intelligent man I've ever known... make that the most intelligent person I've ever known. He makes multi-tasking to an extreme look easy. I get dizzy just watching him sometimes. If that man has on off switch I haven't found it yet, though he does have gears. Low - relaxing or sleeping, and Go - doing everything at once at high speed. He doesn't change down to low very often. He's an irrepresible flirt, as stubborn and independant as a man can get, and generous to a fault too often for his own good, but then hey, he can't be totally perfect! LOL He keeps telling me I'm too good for him, but the feeling is mutual on that topic. He genuinely cares about other people and helps others he sees in need whenever he can. On the other hand, he is also more than capable of telling people where to get off when he thinks they need to be told; and if you think I can be brutal with colouful sarcasm and cynical attitude, he makes me look like an amature when he gets fired up. One evening Mony and I were witness to a furious rampage he had on the phone to a company that was giving him the run-around. We didn't know whether to run and hide or roll of the floor in fits of laughter, so we compromised by staying out of the way and giggled like little school girls instead. He's got a sense of humour that is akin to mine, though we do have a few minor differences in what we find funny or not, they are few and far between. When I first started getting to know him he told me he worked as an allocator, I thought he said alligator. As soon as that happened the jokes opened up and it was somewhere around that point that I knew there was something more to him than just another guy. He's a big softy at heart and I wouldn't give him up for anything.

http://www.mil-millington.com/

Posting this here for future reference so I don't lose it. LOL