kiwikylie79's Minti Blog

man i hate my life....

kiwikylie79 — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:00:45 -0800

god i hate my life so much it is not easy to raise 2 boys on ur own 1 havin autism and lookin after ur sick mum and ur ***** of a sister who can help around with things like cleaning but just outrite refuses 2. she is always usin the excuse that she is a teenager. but wat she seems to not get is i was once 1 she thinks out of the family she is the only 1 that has ever been a bloody teenager. man she gives me the mega shits. and not just some of the time but all of the time.

HATE IT HATE IT

kiwikylie79 — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:06:26 -0800

God I hate my life.... I have just had yet another guy tell me dat I am fat and ugly. I know dat I am but its not for other ppl 2 tell me. I am feeling so down dat even though wit everything dat is happenin wit my mum and I need 2 cry I am goin bk on my meds again as I cant take no more. I wish dat I was dead bc den I wouldnt have 2 hear ppl calling me things like dat. :( I am off now even though dont want to go to town I have 2.

BYE ALL AND TA FOR EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR ME but I just cant take anymore of it.... :(:(:(:(

take a look....

kiwikylie79 — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:03:09 -0800

This is a picture of Kyle at his first sports day at school. The order of the kids from left to right are.... Kyles friend Jamie, Kyle, Kyles friend Ben and his other friend Mark..

this is my little man

kiwikylie79 — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 22:24:45 -0700

Here is a pic of kyle @ school as his 1st school pics I can really see a diffrence.

Man it dont make sense

kiwikylie79 — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:00:36 -0700

Man this world dont make any sense. Why is it that u set ur kids up in this world to fight and servive to then just go ahead and get real sick and want to give up and die??????? It so very much sux.. My mum use to b on of the strongest ppl I know. She wouldnt stand for any shit or crap from anyone. But now she is so sick and all she wants to do is be out of it all and die. It is so bloody hard to just sit there and watch ur mum fade away to NOTHING and u r helpless to stop it.

Not to good

kiwikylie79 — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:35:02 -0700

I am not a good person today my mum had to be rushed to hospital from being delerias (cant spell it ). Wen she got there I found out that she needed a blood transfusion. I am so so so so so so so so scared that I am goin to loose her she doesnt even know who we are. She thought other rooms were her room and the bathroom she was tryin to drink from an ashtray. It was so sacrey I NEVER want to go through anything like that again. My sister who is 13 and is suicidal @ the moment freaked out and now im worried that she will do somethin to herself. Mum is in intensive care. I dont think that I can handel ANY of this NOMORE. Its just to darn hard to sit bk and watch my mum disapere the way that she is. I am SO sry to be annoyin u all just didnt know wat else to do..

Can my life get any worse

kiwikylie79 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:53:07 -0700

Can my life get any worse???? My mum is very sick she is dying. Which I cant handle but would NEVER tell her as I am her carer. My sister is not the most easyiest to live with. But she is scared of loosing our mum.Which I can understand.
My boys well Lincoln understands wats goin on (well as much as a 8 yr old can ) Kyle well he cant start his day without seein his nanny 1st. So I dont know where thats goin to leave him we mum goes.
I try and I try but I cant seem 2 do things right at all. I am a stuff up at EVERYTHING.
Shorly my life could get no worse I cant go anywhere wit firends eg coffee bc I cant be away from my mum for long.
Everytime I am trying to relax she calls me and I dont mind that.
Last night I was real upset and mum asked me wat was wrong I didnt really want to tell her but she made me and it was that my sister.
She is 13 she is able to do things round the house but she wont.
She seems to think that oh well Kylie will do it all for me.
It REALLY hurts and I told mum that she said to me that she knows that it is really hurting me.
Anyway I shouldnt be such a sook as my nanna use to say to me "no matter wat ur goin through there is always someone out there goin through worse" So I will leave it at that .
Thanks .
Kylie.

well ere i am

kiwikylie79 — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:43:01 -0700

I am finally bk from the holiday it wasnt as good as I thought it was goin to be but oh well @ least we went.

How is all going? Me just glade 2b home.

The weather was bad in geelong and we came home to it to.

The kids were real excited as they got to see some snow just out of ballarat. But falling was all they got 2 see from it as it didnt even settle on da road.

Anyway I got 2 go now fix kids up but will chat soon.

cheers 2 all.

kylie

man have i what !!!!

kiwikylie79 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:42:05 -0700

MAN I ave had da worst 2 weeks ever. I had 2 go to court wit my sister and it was so so so so scary. It was on da man dat abused me as a kid. But he was found guilty of brakin an order which we are happy about. Me and my sister were so worried dat he would get off and think he could do wat he pleased.

Kids are driving me mad. I HATE school holidays as Kyle doesnt get y he cant go to school. I have moved house so I am offically living wit my mum now. After I had an argument wit the Ooh department for treatin me and my stuff like rot.

But anyway we r all goin away today to Geelong to see my brother for his b/day. It has been abot 11 yrs since we ave been wit him for it so it will be fun. And MAN I can not wait to see him and my cute neices and my sister inlaw. I havnt been to geelong to stay ova nite since I was abot 16 yrs old and @ the moment dat feels like abot 100 yrs ago (LOL).

Anyway our taxi will be here soon as its almost 7am. I will chat to u all wen I get bk.

cheers to all

kylie

hurting ever so bad

kiwikylie79 — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:56:12 -0700

Hi all how are we???? me well im not that good at the moment as i found out yesterday that a VERY VERY good friend of mine has died. she died on monday night. She is/was like family to me thats how much of a friend she is/was. i just can not believe that it has happened. she has 4 girls that she has left behind. only 2 of them were living with her the oldest of the 2 is only 5 turning 6 and the youngest 4 turning 5. i am unsure how they are b/c my friend got rushed to melbourne so they were taken to melbourne to be with her but she never even made it there.

kylie....

hey all

kiwikylie79 — Sun, 04 May 2008 02:21:04 -0700

hi all i have just invited a friend to join us here i hope that she will join us. she is real nice i have told her all about u all and how welcomin u are.

YAY kyle is @ school

kiwikylie79 — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:54:18 -0800

Oh my golly gosh I cant believe that Kyle is @ school. He started last Thursday and I think he is loving it. He has handled it so very well as there was no screaming or anything wen he relized that I couldnt go wit him all he said was " OH OK ". I was pritty happy with that but after he left I cried my eyes out . I really NEVER thought that I would see the day that my little man would go off to school. But now that he has im so pleased as it is something that he needed to do. Anyhow I just wanted everyone to know thats all.

cheers

kylie..

p.s this is a pic of him in his uniform....

thanks

kiwikylie79 — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 02:13:26 -0800

thankyou too everyone for ur lovely thoughts u can all only emagine wat it means to me as i dont feel so alone with the support that i have from u all

thankyou ..

kylie

cant handle it

kiwikylie79 — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:39:44 -0800

Hi all how are we ? me well I am not good my mum is about to die any minute and i am not sure if i can handle it.

I dont think i could emagine life without her. I will have my 13 yr old sister to raise as well as my own two kids.

Life is just SO short thats it is not funny I think everyone needs to treasure EVERY minute of it ALL.

B/C as soon as u dont then it can be ripped away from u so easy.

bye for now.

hi all its been a while

kiwikylie79 — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 12:27:51 -0800

hey everyone sorry its been a while i have just had the worse few mths of my life.

but anyway i am bk now how r we all?? hope everyone is fit and well.

bbl cheers for now

kylie

Here is something my mum sent me

kiwikylie79 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:30:39 -0700

this is a little something that was sent to my mum and she sent it to me and i just wanted to share it with aal hope u all like it.

WHAT IS LIFE....

Life is a challenge.......... Meet it,

Life is a gift.......... Accept it,

Life is an adventure.......... Dare it,

Life is a sorrow.......... Overcome it,

Life is a tragedy.......... Face it,

Life is a duty...........Perform it,

Life is game............ Play it,

Life is a mystery.......... Unfold it,

Life is a song........... Sing it,

Life is an opportunity.......... Take it,

Life is a journey.......... Complete it,

Life is promise............ Fulfill it,

Life is beauty.......... Praise it,

Life is struggle.......... Fight it,

Life is a goal.......... Achieve it,

Life is a puzzle.......... Solve it,

Life is love.......... Love it.

well hi all

kiwikylie79 — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 14:00:41 -0700

hi to all just thought id say it and see how we all are ? me and my boys are ok i guess had our moments kyles med have been changed so now got to see if this dose will work if not im going to be at my wits end.

we all have the flu at the moment so i have lincoln home from school and kyle home from kinder all we seem to want to do is sleep (well except for kyle anyway lol)

hope all are well and will chat again soon

cheers to all

and chins up

kylie

Wow I have found the right school for Kyle

kiwikylie79 — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 23:54:44 -0700

Well I went to our local special school yesterday and it is such a GREAT school that I have decided that that is where he will go next yr.

WOW never again i hope

kiwikylie79 — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 07:58:12 -0700

I have just had the worst nite with Kyle it is 12.52am and there is someone near here having a party and they are so darn loud that he has woken up. He is in his room rocking like crazy and banging the living day lites out of his head and everytime I go in there to try and stop him he SCREAMS. So I have thought it may be best to just leave him. Man I am not happy with it all as it goes on EVERY week end but never this bad. Man I am good @ annoying u all arnt I ! Well I am goin too go check on him and see if he is ok as I am sick as and I really need to somehow get some sleep I just hope that he will be ok and all as I HATE him hitting his head.

cheers to all

chins up

kylie

Heaps of srys

kiwikylie79 — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 12:58:26 -0700

hi all im real sry about the other day i was havin a sook and i shouldnt have done it to all u guys so sry. it wont happen again im kind of over it now. things are going to go smooth sailing from here im going to make sure of it.kyle can now totally get ALL the help that he needs and mayb i can get a bit to.only time will tell wont it.

well we have special playgroup 2day worse luck we have to say goodbye to kyles SCS as she is goin on meternity leave but wen she comes bk kyle will not be with them anymore as he will be @ school and they cut there ties and help 1ce they start school so it will be sad today as we have really got to know her and she is the best worker i have ever dealt with.so the tears will be floowing today.

but i will let u all go and chat again soon

cheers 2 all kylie