James has a bad throat and cold at the moment and has been off school.He gets really high temperatures and hallucinates when he gats too hot.He's done this since being a baby and can be quite frightening and weird.I've been giving him paracetamol and nurofen for children so hopefully he'll be a bit brighter soon.He always gets things worse than Luke for some reason.James is far more robust than Luke yet illness affects him more.

GOOD NEWS- I passed my driving theory on Monday.Got one question wrong-I changed it at the last minute and I'd done it right in the first place so would've got them all right if I hadn't changed it.I didn't think I would pass my hazard perception videos but I did-YAY!!! Real chuffed with myself.I don't feel ready to take my practical driving test yet though.I've had 19 lessons I think now so not doing too bad.

The weather is freezing here already.It's got cold really quickly and we have our heating on.October has been quite mild the last few years but it's back with avengence this year.

I ordered myself some new specs the other day.I wear contacts and have been having problems with them for a while.I hate wearing glasses but have ordered some nice 'trendy' ones so we'll seepardon the pun,haha. I've ordered a black pair and a red pair.The thing is I have astigmatism and am as blind as a bat so have a really complicated prescription and they cost quite a bit.I pay for the lens to be made thinner so they don't look like jam jars!!! Will let you know what I think of them when I pick them up.

Think I'm all caught up now.Have a great weekend everyone,Lisa xx

Yesterday, Darren cut himself really badly at work on a stanley knife ugh.He used a new blade to score some PVC and it slipped.He sliced the fatty , pouchy bit on the palm of his hand near his thumb.It goes all the way across and he had 6 stitches.He said the injections they gave him before hand were worse than the cut and stitches themselves!!  The nurse who stitched him up was funny though.She said to go to his docs in 10 days to have them taken out-unless he wants to do it himself with a stanley knife-hahaha!!

I have my theory test for my car exam on the 21st of Sept and I am so nervous.I have told no one not even Darren I have only told all of you on minti!!   I am studying like mad and have been practising the hazard perception on a disc that I bought for my laptop.It makes me bog eyed.Theres loads to learn but love my driving lessons now.

My best friend, Sarah passed hers 2 weeks ago with the same instructer.She is a bit big headed though and goes on and on.I have another friend, Mandeep that passed hers 3 weeks ago as well.So, no pressure there then.I thought if I don't tell anybody, if I don't pass they won't know!! Clever eh?

I had an argument with a neighbour out of the next street to us yesterday.She has a little boy (5) and is so rude and naughty. He swears like a trooper and he pulls his pants down where he feels like it and wees'.

I feel sorry for him cos his dad is an alcoholic and his mum is a sandwich short of a picnic shall we say.Yesterday afternoon Luke went out to play with him.Within 5 mins this boy said to Luke, F...k o... You b......d!!! I brought Luke in and told him not to play with him.Obviously he did play with him again.A bit later his mum came knocking on my door saying Luke had told him to pull his pants down and that a neighbour heard Luke say it.I confronted her and told her to get the neighbour cos I knew she was lying because I had been watching out of my window.She went on to call James and Luke horrible, naughty little boys and told her son not to play with them again!! OMFG. I went ballistic.How dare she? Her son swears, is cheeky pees in the street calls his mum a fat cow and worse.On Saturday I went to her house because her boy had spit all over my windows.I don't mean a little bit either.

Woe betide anyone who calls my kids fo no reason.I seriously could have cracked her one.One of my other neighbours said the week we were in Wales, he pulled his pants down at her gfandkids aged 3 and 5.Disgusting, horrible little boy.

Let battle commence.Got to go now after my ranting and raving.Better get my kiddies from school.They're going to my mums for tea and Darren at work so I'll be back...

Yesterday, I went into the town and stocked up and treats for the 'bods'.Seed-2 varieties, peanuts,3 different fat squares with insects,fruit and berries(yeah get the men in white coats I know ).A Bill Oddie-a dippy man that used to be in the Oddies and now is an ornithologist-bird thingy with mealworms in-mmmmm nice.Some new fat balls-it's not rude honest,and a new 'Bill oddie' feeder. Yep so I spent a small fortune on my little friends.Now, every day my bit of 'garden' is full of birdies waiting on what delights I have in store for that day.Sometimes its toast,bread,cheese,fruit-yes Darren is starved!!!!

And so guess what? Yep, I have had NO BODS since Monday!!!

Work that out.I think it's weird but then no more weirded than me going on about it.I find it strange that after all this time of feeding them, I spend a bloody fortune on them for the colder months and they naff off!!

Darren and the kids think I am a nutter cos when I get loads of birds I watch and oo and arr for ages.I bet they've had a petition going -anti bird.

So, Bill Oddie the silly little man who charges silly amounts for silly products for silly people to buy-YOU GOT ME_HA HA!!

And so relax-I am now back on your planet.

The weekend passed with no evil messages from 'the bitch' anyway so that's one good thing I suppose.I have seen Josh over the weekend-he came for Sunday lunch after working with Darren.He said he has no doubt that his mum will dump the girls here again at some point.He said she hates me and if I want to play mum then I can have them!!

It still is beyond my comprehension that as a mum, she can be so flippant and unfeeling about her children.I would lay my life on the line for James and Luke and wouldn't dream of dumping them with someone they didn't know.Bearing in mind when she dumped them here before, she had and still hasn't met me.It's been on my mind all weekend and yesterday I was changing the boys bedrooms around and the girls came up in conversation.I asked Luke-who is a bit more mature in some ways than james how he would feel if they were dumped here again.I didn't say it would happen just could.He said,'she is a horrible bad mam anyway and they would probably better off with us.But, I'm not going to give my bedroom up again!!' 

I have had problems with Luke in the past with his behaviour, but he is so considerate about others and their feelings he makes me so proud.Our next door neighbours are refugees from Iraq . There are 2 kids a boy and girl and he plays with them all the time.They can only say 'hiya' in English but he seems to communicate really well.He went into their house on Saturday and was loving the fact he watched Teenage Turtles in Iraqi-he came in and said they've got Welsh Tv hee hee-bless.The childrens dad was asking him about what religion he is and about Jesus and stuff.Luke is only 9 and I think he got a bit flummaxed.I don't really like the topic of religion with young children because it's complicated enough for adults.Lets face it, wars are caused through religion and I tend not to talk about it too much.I told Luke to say he is Christian-Church of England and leave it at that.I must admit I feel a bit uncomfortable with it, but he likes the children and all children need friends and to play.They sent me a stew dish as well on Saturday to try-ugh. I was very thankful but it was highly spicy and tasted of vinegar, but it was nice of them to send it.

Have a great week everybody,Lisa xx

Also thanks to Thuy and Winnie for sending me gifts.You are all really kind and I've sure missed you all!!

Thanks again, Lisa xx

Ages since I blogged again-such a lot going on.Kids went back to school on Monday.Went to meet their new teacher and she seems far nicer than last years.

The week before that we went to Wales for a week and it was freezing and wet-but a good time had by all.

I haven't blogged this week cos I have felt really down in the dumps.Since the girls visit to our house 2 weeks ago, we have been bombarded by text messages from his ex wife again.The week we were in Wales, Josh, Darrens son went back with the girls to visit his mum.Apparently they had a massive argument about him being in care-even though she threw him out at 12!! She went mad cos when the girls were here I washed their clothes!!! She told Josh that I was taking over and if I wanted to play mum she would dump them here again!!

Since last weekend there have been messages meant for me calling me 'a f-------g slut' a whore-you name it I have been called it.She sent 2 messages last night threatening to drop the girls again and wanting more money from the CSA.We rang them today and she is only getting a percentage of what we pay cos its only back pay.We went to court about this yet she seems to think we get more money and so she wants more.The messages are really vulgar and I don't honestly see what I have done.I took care of her kids when she dumped them and its me not Darren who buys them gifts to them etc.We have done everything to keep on her good side.

Josh has been here this afternoon and he said he thinks she will dump them again so I can play 'mummy'

I don't want to-simple as.And in all honesty and I don't really want to say this.I'm thinking of telling Darren to leave.I love the man to death and so do my kids and vice versa.But, I have had enough.For three years I have had more than my share of grief from his ex wife and their kids.I really don't know what to do but something has got to give and I can feel me on the verge of snapping.

What shall I do? I know some of you know my situation and I feel so low that if I tell him to go, I am depriving myself and my kids of a good person in our lives but how can I keep coping with 'the baggage'?

                                                        XXXX

We couldn't decide where to take all of the brood yesterday and they couldn't agree. I suggested a really nice place we took the boys early summer.Its a lovely place with massive lakes with koi carp you can hand feed, a park , a small falconry and play areas. I found out there was a band on there too and the boys said they didn't want to go again cos it was 'boring'. They loved it last time!!

I rang the swimming baths who turned out to have a poblem with their filter so were closed! So, we decided to take them to a farm.They were little shits in the car and Darren had to slam the brakes at one point because the were causing so much noise and putting him off.When its just James and luke they are really good in the car and we never have probs.The main proble is one of Darrens girls.When they lived with us I found her very hard work and she irritated me no end.When I knew they were coming I thought to myself that I would make a real effort with her.OMG-she is worse!! She whimes about everything. Food, James, Luke her sister everything.She has a whiny voice and either hums or sings ALL THE TIME. Yes, I know what you're thinking-at least she is happy.Maybe, but its SSSOOOO annoying.Constant noise and its pissing me off.

They all had lots of fun at the farm and then we took them to the beach where they all got soaked in the sea, and they loved it!!

We arrived home and Darren went to pick up Josh, the girls brother and he pissed me off.He walked straight in , went into the kitchen ate loads of food, plonked himself on the couch moaning we hadn't taken him out with us. He then went on to ask Darren to buy him some cigs cos he hadn't been out with us so hadn't had any money spent on him!! Cheeky bastard!! I hardly ever swear on herebut I'm so pissed off.I feel like my life is being took over by ungrateful brats who don't appreciate a thing.Darrens girls have come here with a total lack of manners too.Please and thankyou cost nothing but have to be reminded constantly about it.I know now that I could never, ever let them live here again.I can't stand it.

We're not taking them out today I don't think but it's still only 10 am so might need to escape later.

I am really pleased to see them but can't wait for Friday when they go home. I hope no one thinks bad of me but they are so demanding, whinging ungrateful kids. I know its not their fault but AAAARRGGHH let me outta here.

They are generally getting on okay but it has already had its moments. I have had to 'top and tail' Megan and Sian in one bed because when they went back to their mums we got rid of their bunkbeds. Sian informed me that she doesn't share a bed with anybody let alone her sister-ooer.At bedtime it was a bloody nightmare!! Meg was tired out after their journey but Sian was a little overexcited shall we say! Poor Meg was snoring and Sian decided to pull her hair and give her a kick-sisterly love.james and Luke then got stressed out because they couldn't get to sleep because of the girls.Darren gave the girls quite a few warnings and then we got -I want to go home, i miss my mummy-AAARRGGHH. Had all this when they lived here for months they had only been here a few hours!! darren lost his temper and smacked her bum and said he had worked really hard to take time off work so we could take them out and treat them etc. Sian then said, you are a stupid daddy-and got another smacked bum.OMG what a shitty start!!

Had  an ok day today.They have bickered alittle and had sulky moments but been alright. We took them to a lovely park on the other side of our city with animals and a walk through bird cage. They also went on a splash boat which went down well!!

It's now 9.15pm and the boys are teaching them how to play pool on their pool table.It's quite cute really.Hopefully have a good day tomorrow.I think we're swimming cos the weather forecast is a bit naff I think.

                            Lisa xx

I said that it wouldn't have hurt her to meet Darren half way and he said, 'Well she does work hard'!! Cheeky little B. Darren works too and has had to work extra hard the past few weeks because he is self employed and doesn't get holiday pay, plus work is really slack at the moment so has been doing 'guvvies'.So, we'll see what happens.Josh will be full of himself about his fantastic mum when they get back, the thing is, I let things simmer and bottle it up and then explode.Calm and chill, haha.

So all in all looking forward to seeing the girls but with lots of apprehensions and worries.The bitch had better take them back because no way would I take them on again-what about my kids? Luke is a bit peeved cos he has had to give his room up again even though it's only for the week.James and Luke are looking forward to seeing them but they dotend to rile each other too. Finished moaning now.

On a lighter note-it's now 6.45 and its sunny-yay !!! Hopefully it will stay that way all weekend cos it's Bank Hol over here this weekend and we have had really crap weather lately.

I'm at the dentist today as well.For over 2 years I have had problems with one tooth.Reoccuring root abcess blah blah. Anyway, had a crown put on last Sept and it fell out nearly 2 weeks ago.I've had to wait all this time to see the dentist and he said he will put a new post in etc. I don't think I'm going to bother.Think I'm going to ask to take out the remaining small bit and leave it. It's near the back so you can't see it when I smile-the pirate look is so not good!!

Have a great weekend everyone. Hopefully I will get the chance to come onto minti.Wish me luck!!!

Lisa xx 

The kids are on the Playstation upstairs so thought i would make a DVD for my mum using photos on my laptop picture files.I sorted all my files,put the photos in a running order,bearing in mind I have about 300 photos on my files.I made them look 'nice' with a faded edging and went to burn onto my DVD I had inserted.Great-I had the wrong type of DVD.I hadn't bought rewriteable ones so couldn't use it!! It doesn't end there-I didn't save my file that I spent just over 2 bloody hours on and lost my work.AAAARRRGGGHHH......   

Hope everyone is ok and well.I haven't been up to much really exciting.I've been on a cleaning mission ready for the girls coming on Friday.Darren spoke to them last Thursday and they said they had one week and a day left to wait and couldn't wait to get here.As some of you may know, I am dreading it-incase their mother dumps them again.We can't decide what to do about changing our car as well. We have been saving because other half wants an estate-he's seen a gorgeous C5 but cos I'm only learning they're far too big for me.Anyway, the car we have now has 5 seats so when the girls come we won't be able to travel because we don't have enough seats.I really like the Zafira but he's not keen.He says they're 'bland'-whatever!! They have 7 seats though and you can put the back two seats down for extra boot space.We don't know what to do really. The thing is the weather is that crap here at the moment so may not want to go far anyway.Que Sera Sera!!

I've just watched my lovely???!!! stepson-not really that cos me and Darren aren't married but anyway, he is on You Tube. He said he was on it but wouldn't let me watch it and wouldn't say what he called it.He came here yesterday and went on it and forgot to delete the history-HAHAHA I put it on this morning and it's quite funny really. I can't upload it because it's not suitable for minti.It's a typical teen thing -lets just say expletives and bare bottoms are included!!

Are you all enjoying the Olympics?? Aren't we Brits doing good-gloat gloat!! I'm not into sport it bores me to death but have enjoyed this. I'm not keen on track events but love watching water sports stuff.I do think there's a bit of a dodgy thing going on though.That poor little girl that sang their national anthem and they pulled her out at the last minute because she wasn't 'pretty' enough. That is appalling-poor little mite.Wonder what else is going on apart from what we see on TV and read about?

James and Luke been quite good still  . Although last night James came in and said a very naughty swear word!! They've been playing with a boy younger than them in the next street and he is sssoooo naughty. He is rude, swears at his mum etc and to be quite honest and this sound bad-I don't like him. He doesn't have a good home life though and like Darren says it isn't his fault but OMG.James and Luke came in after playing with him. James sat on the couch and just said, '' I'm so f______g pi___d!!! I sat with my mouth open wide and think my chin hit the floor!!.Now I'm not naive and i know full well things they probably say outside and in the playground but no way will I accept that in the house.He promptly got sent to bed with a smacked bum!!! He said,''Well, Dylan says it''-the naughty one.What do you do?? Alot of parents just don't discipline their kids and it makes it real hard work for parents who do.

Going to go now, waffling on now.Have a good week minti peeps!!  Lisa xx

                              A NANNA IS WARM HUGS AND SWEET MEMORIES

                              SHE REMEMBERS ALL OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

                              SHE IS SOMEONE YOU CAN TELL YOUR SECRETS AND WORRIES TOO

                              AND SHE HOPES AND PRAYS THAT ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

And so my nan. We were like peas in a pod.She was one of the very few people who 'got me'. For some reason I have always felt on the outside of a little circle were my mum and sister are concerned, like I'm always on the outside. my nan knew that and saw that and was always there to listen to me when I felt down about it. Without a doubt I was her favourite and I idolised her.When she started with dementia it was torture to watch someone I loved so much disappear before my eyes.One time she tried to hang herself with a net curtain wire in the nursing home she lived in.It was me she asked for and it nearly killed me to see my nan so desperate and so unhappy in her now ever decreasing mindstate.Dementia and alzheimers is a heartrending illness and it destroys so many lives.My nan and my family went to hell and back numerous times over and over again.

The last time my nan got admitted to hospital with pneumonia-again we knew that this was THe last time.On the wednesday evening I went to see her and yet again she was covered in tubes and breathing apparatus.She woke up when she 'knew' I was there and I prepared myself for what i knew would be my last conversation with my nan.I can't go into that detail because it is still so raw and painful, but my nan died the following evening.We got a phone call to say come ASAP. Darren rushed home to take me but I told him not to rush because on the way I knew she had 'gone'. I was right. I knew that my lovely little nanna didn't want anyone to see her die because she told me.She also told me not to go to restrooms, which we didn't.I don't really like to go to the crematorium because I believe if you love someone, you tell them and let them know when they're here. And I did.Every day and still do.I went with Darren and the boys today to take flowers but won't go now til xmas. My nan never met Darren but I met him about 4 months before she died.I didn't want to introduce them because she was far too confused.I believe I met my soulmate at exactly the right time.I think my nan sent him to me and it was fate.

So ,Happy Birthday Nan, love you and miss you every day,your Lisa xx

Had a driving lesson this morning and I think I can finally say that I'm enjoying it.Feel a lot more relaxed and 'in control' a bit more, though there's still loads to learn.

My dog, Tess is much better today. Back to her normal self thank goodness, must have had a bit of a bug or something. Gave her a bit of a treat this morning-toast and best butter!! She is in her 'retirement' years so a treat every now and again won't hurt.

James and Luke been little sods today.They woke up full of it and I could just tell they would be like it all day.My mum looked after them while I had my driving lesson and filled them with crap-crisps and lollies etc.

Darren text his ex wife last night about having the girls a week earlier and she text back saying no because she has now made plans for the week we said they could come.I just hope that it's not something like a moonlight flit and the girls end up here again.Even though I'm quite looking forward to seeing them, I'm so worried what happens at the end of their weeks stay with us.

So, as you can see a real boring, uneventful blog-hope you haven't fell asleep yet.Wish I had, I'm knackered!!

Have a great weekend folks,Lisa xx

Oh, enjoy the Olympics everyone, I like to watch the opening ceremony and swimming and that's it really.

My dog was poorly yesterday.i took her to vets on Monday for flea stuff and she's been off colour since then.Yesterday she didn't eat all day and slept all day.I really panicked and so made an appointment for 6pm last evening.my stepdad took us in the car cos Darren and Luke gone fishing in ours.Anyway the vet says he couldn't find anything in particular but gave her 2 jabs.He said she was in good health for a 13 year old dog( 80 years old in our years apparently).So vet fees this week cost me £70.I don't mind cos Tessie Bear is my bessie mate and I'd be lost without her.The cheeky old girl ate tuna and then steak pie leftovers when she came home-typical!!!  Back to her normal self today, thank goodness.

I got myself some herbal 'quiet life' tablets as well on Tuesday.I feel mega wound up in worry over Darrens' girls visit.Absolutely dreadind it.I've got my head around the fact they're coming it's because I'm panicking incase his ex says she doesn't want them again.Darren says stop worrying but I can't I'm a bit of a pessimist on this one.We'll just have to wait and see.

Take care everyone,LIsa x

If I am totally honest I don't want them here.Our lives-including my kids were turned upside down.I would never ever say to my partner that I didn't want him to see his kids but I have told him that I don't want them here.There are a few reasons why.

When they came to live here one wet the bed every night and daytime, which I got her out of by the time she left.

The other was extremely thin and I got her a dietician at the hospital and was in the process of her seeing a psychologist because she was emotionally disturbed-and what child wouldn't be when dumped by their mum?

When they were here they called me mum and now they never even ask how I or my kids are on the phone-we just don't get a mention.

My boys will have to share a room again and it is naffing me off.

Both myself and my own kids are worried that they will be left here again.I don't want to bring up another womans kids for 6 months again until they decide they want to go back

I don't want to do it again and why should I? I've had his son living with us at one point as well and I don't want to do it anymore.I'm so dreading them coming in 2 weeks cos what if they don't go back and she says she doesn'e want them again? I'm afraid I might have to end my relationship.I love him to death and would hate to think of my life without him and deprive my kids of the great dad that they now have.

I have a massive knot in my stomach and it just won't go.I have a real sense of dread and 'doom and gloom'.

Had a driving lesson today which went quite well.Tried reversing for the first time and it felt really weird.Three point turns are coming on ok though.I was going to give it up last week cos I had a bad couple of 'episodes.' Last Tuesday I was 'clutch happy' couldn't keep my foot off the bloody thing don't know why.On Monday my lesson was going really well.I parked up no probs and then my instuctor said about clutch control on a hill-fine until a westie dog decide to plonk itself right in front of the car!! My instructor said drive off slowly and it'll move-fat chance. The dog sat and stared at me and didn't want to budge.Decided to pull out a bit and it ran after us for about 30 metres! The thing is the owner didn't even bother even though I'm sure it would 've been different if I had knocked it over.

Meeting my sisters' new fella tonight.I'm doing a barbie so hope the weather is okay.It was belting it down with rain yesterday and through the night.It's a bit blowy but as long as it doesn't rain it should be ok.

I don't think we're going out this weekend. Darren has herdly any work on.I think the building trade is feeling the pinch.The cost of living is sky high at the moment so I think everyone is struggling.

We have new neighbours next door to us.They're from Iraq and are really nice people.They have 2 small children and James and Luke have made them feel very welcome.The language is a barrier though cos they speak little English.The dad is a little more fluent but I find him hard to understand.I feel really sorry for them.They didn't even have a TV and one of the neighbours gave them one.They didn't know where shops were etc and so they have been bombarded us with questions-which I don't mind.It must be heartbreaking for them to leave their country and families behind.I'm sure though that they will be fine.

Hope you all have a fab weekend and the weather is good.love,Lisa xx

On Saturday it was boiling hot here-dare I say too hot.So because it was so nice we decided to visit some waterfalls we've been wanting to visit for a while-Ingleton Falls near the Lake District.Really beautiful place.It was a really tiring day though because it was boiling hot and we had to walk uphill over boulders and rocks most of the time to get to it.We had a really lovely day though.As you can see we're not used to the heat so 'The Men' stripped off!!