AN OLD MAN WAS GROCERY SHOPPING WITH
HIS  GRANDSON. THE TODDLER WAS
CRYING,  AND AT TIMES, SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF  HIS LUNGS.

AS THE OLD GENTLEMAN WALKED UP AND DOWN THE AISLES, PEOPLE  COULD
HEAR HIM  SPEAKING IN A SOFT VOICE...

"WE ARE ALMOST DONE,  ALBERT...TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...LIFE WILL
GET BETTER,  ALBERT..."

AS HE  APPROACHED THE CHECKOUT STAND, HE CAREFULLY BRUSHED THE
TODDLER'S  TEARS FROM HIS  EYES AND SAID AGAIN,

"TRY NOT TO CRY, ALBERT...  WE WILL BE HOME  SOON, ALBERT..."

AS HE WAS PAYING THE CASHIER, THE TODDLER CONTINUED TO  CRY AS A
YOUNG WOMAN  IN LINE BEHIND HIM SAID,  "SIR,I THINK IT IS
WONDERFUL HOW SWEET YOU ARE BEING TO YOUR LITTLE ALBERT."

THE OLD  GENTLEMAN BLINKED HIS EYES A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE SAYING

MY  GRANDSON'S NAME IS JOHN........ I'M  ALBERT..........

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable “fire” and was obligated to pay the claim! 

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".

NOW, FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest!
 
ONLY IN AMERICA.

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.          The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'   'I'm out of gas,' the man replied.   The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.   'Try it now,' said one bee.   The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!' the man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my gas tank'?   The bee answered,  

    Wait for it, wait for it..  

 You're just gonna love this..     

Haylee is 7 months old in this picture.

Kaitlin is 6 months.

Apart from how chubby Haylee is and the fact that Kaitlin's hair is lighter, I think my girls look very much a like.

If you look closely you can just see Kaitlin's first teeth coming through.

On Sunday I noticed two white dots on her bottom gums and then yesterday they were to little rectangles and today she decided she wanted to chew on my chin and ouch!!!  I had a look and a feel and they have cut the gums so now my little gummy baby is going to be a chomper. 

Teething obviously doesn't bother her because she's been her usual happy self, she wimpers sometimes in her sleep but thats probably the only thing she does.  Haylee was always unsettled and in the end we used to rock her to sleep but not my dear little Kaitlin.

Can you tell I'm excited?  My little girl is growing so fast.......I want my little newborn back.

I had a wonderful weekend.  We went to dinner on Saturday night to Hogs Breathe Cafe and had a fabulous dinner, then dropped Haylee off at the grandparents and went to the club.  I'm not usually a frequenter of the club but we went and had a few drinks (not a big drinker anymore either) and had an absolutely fantastic time.  I even got to sleep in till 8am, I haven't done that since.....well I can't remember.

We went to pick the girls up from my parents yesterday and ended up having a BBQ at their place.  Again we had a fantastic time.  

My husband got an SMS from his father yesterday afternoon (who lives in WA) asking if we were home and that him and his other half were in the area .  Now my FIL has never mentioned his woman to my husband, he relied on my husbands younger sister to tell us. So I was surprised when my husband said that we weren't home and that me may be home by 5pm as he has always made time for his father.  Of course his father didn't want to wait so he said that he'd catch up with him another day.  My FIL has been in Sydney for two weeks and only now did he want to visit his son and grand daughters.  He has only seen Haylee twice and doesn't even remember Kaitlin's name.  I won't get into it because it's a long story.

Today Haylee and I were to spend the day together, just the two of us before she went back to school, Kaitlin was going to be at my parents however they unfortunately had to go to a funeral today.  I feel a little guilty about it because I had told Haylee she would have me all to herself today but when I explained why that won't happen, she said that she understood and that we'll do it next holidays.  She's only 5 but she acts like she's heaps older.

My girls (especially Haylee) always amaze me.  Have a great day everyone.

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough,

to put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,

that's taught by Mr. Wright?

It's all about the laws today,

The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,

don't have to cut my hair

No one can tell me what to think,

or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,

and regardless what you say,

I don't have to bow my head,

and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,

and pierce my tongue & nose.

I can read & watch just what I like,

get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,

I'll charge you with a crime.

I'll back up all my charges,

with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,

my body's only for my use,

not for your hugs and kisses,

that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,

like your Mama did to you.

That's nothing more than mind control,

And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,

so you can't influence me,

or I'll call Children's Services Division,

better known

as 'C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was

to toss him out the door.

But the chance to teach him a lesson

made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,

I couldn't let this go.

A smile crept upon my face,

he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping

at the local Goodwill Store..

I told him, 'Pick out all you want,

there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .

who said they didn't care

if I bought you K-Mart shoes

instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment

to take your driver's test.

The C.S.D. is unconcerned

so I'll decide what's best.'

I said 'No time to stop and eat,

or pick up stuff to munch.

And tomorrow you can start to learn

to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,

and wait till dinner time.

We're having liver and onions,

a favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,

to watch on my VCR?'

'Sorry, but I sold your TV,

for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,

you'll take the couch instead.

The C.S.D. requires

just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,

I'll choose what we eat.

That allowance that you used to get,

will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,

dirt-bike & roller blades.

Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',

It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,

Why are you on your knees?

Are you asking God to help you out,

instead of C.S.D..?'

Send to all people that have teenagers or have already raised teenagers,

or have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday

OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH. I love this One!!!

from a MOM

(Mean Old Mother.)

We're going out for dinner tonight with Haylee, my best friend, my brother and his girlfriend.  Kaitlin is staying at my parents tonight and after dinner we'll be dropping Haylee of with them as well.  Do you know what this means?  It means that I can sleep in tomorrow, YAY!!!  It's amazing how something so insignificant (like sleeping in) can get you so excited.  It will nice to get a full night sleep without the interuption from Kaitlin.

Have a great day everyone.

Well after having her sleep during the day unwrapped (swaddled) she has now slept every night last week unwrapped.  I'm so happy as it means that she doesn't wake herself now during the night.

I'm starting to see a little cheeky personality coming out and it's no wonder that I started calling her monster from a week of age, I must have known.

Now that Kaitlin has mastered the sleeping without being wrapped, I just have to work out how to get her to sleep when we go out.  At the moment, she'll nap for about 30 mins when we're out but when we're home and she's in her cot, she'll sleep for about an hour and a half to two hours.

Haylee has been on holidays for a week now and the wet weather is starting to wear a little thin.  We've been over to visit my parents just about every day as their place is bigger and there's more room for Haylee to play.  Also, they were complaining that the haven't seen enough of Kaitlin.

I can hear my little moster talking now so it must mean that she's finished her nap.

Have a great day everyone.

I have my Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to if for the first time since I started.  With all the nibbles etc that I ate over the weekend I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to lose anything, oh well these things happen.  I've just got to deal with whatever the result is and move on.

Kaitlin is certainly loving her solids at the moment, she's even started drinking a full bottle.  Her cradle cap has been getting better, it really looks like she's got some bad dandrif happening.  I think I'm hearing noises out of her room, she must have decided it's time to wake to see daddy.

Hope everyone had a good day and that you have a good evening, mine will be certainly quiet now.

Well, it is the first day of the school holidays and I'm tired already.  We've had a busy few days.

Saturday we went to visit some friends for dinner.  I really like her but I can't stand him, he brags about everything and that really bothers me.  He is also a**l, when he cooks he times everything.  For instance, he will put my steak on first, then hubby's and his wifes and he will then tell his wife to put the peas on for 2 mins and then he'll put his steak on for a minute and then turn it over for the other minute.  I know it sounds petty but it bugs the s**t out of me.  Haylee had a great time playing with their daughter and I'm glad that she did.  Hubby drank too much and that annoys the c**p out of me because then I get no help when we get home and that I had to drive home.  So he didn't get much sympathy out of me yesterday, in fact I was louder than usual.

Sunday we had a BBQ at my parents house.  We spent all day there and Hsylee really enjoyed herself.

Today, I visited my work and realised that I don't miss it at all.  My boss thought I was coming in to discuss when I was coming back to work, I'm not due back from maternity leave until next year and to say she was disappointed was an understatement.   There has been so many changed in the time I've been away that I don't think I'll like to go back but I'm not going to worry about it at the moment.

Haylee and I have just been playing Nintendo Wii and I am absolutely drained, it really gets you moving.  I need an afternoon nap now however Kaitlin has decided she's had enough sleep and it's time to play so no rest for me.  Whoever said a mothers life is easy obviously isn't a mother.

I think I'll take Haylee to the movies tomorrow to see Horton Hears A Who, has anyone seen it?

Kaitlin is calling so must go.

Have a good afternoon.

She became grandmother for the first time on 10/4/08.  Her baby girl (who is 28) had a baby boy weighing 3.5kg and was 51 cm long, they named him Conner.  I'm really close to this woman and I was so excited for her, she was there during the birth of her grandson.

I can't wait to meet this little man because I love newborns (no I don't want any more).  I just had to share this with all of you because it is wonderful to see a woman become a mother for the first time and a mother become a grandmother for the first time.

Have a great night everyone.

Firstly, I forgot to have breakfast as I was busy getting Haylee ready for school.

Secondly, we went to leave and my car wouldn't start (flat battery).  Luckily, the school is within walking distance.

Thirdly, I didn't make lunch for Haylee as she wanted to get lunch from the canteen and guess what?  It was closed, luckily I had packed enough fruit to last her the day.  I felt terrible, I'm sure I'm a horrible mother.

Fourthly, my father came over to look at my car and said that I need a new battery, there goes $150.  I was going to go shopping with my mother but that certainly put an end to that.

Fifthly, my computer needed a new hard drive so there is another $100.  WHY ME!!!!

Luckily my day didn't get any worse.

Hubby is coming home tonight, he should be home by 7.30 tonight.  We're going to visit some friends down south after Haylee goes swimming tomorrow.  That's good but I don't really like him, I get on really well with his wife and Haylee certainly loves playing with their kids.

Well, time to organise dinner.  Have good night everyone.

Well, I attended my Weight Watchers meeting today and I was happy with the results.  I lost another 0.9kg so that brings my total weight loss to 13.7kg in 14 weeks.    I'm so pleased with how it's all going, I've already gone down a clothes size and I can see myself fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans before Christmas.

Haylee is spending the night at Grandmas and she is adamant that she doesn't want to talk to me on the phone.  She wouldn't even talk to David when he rang her, she can be a little so and so when she wants to be. 

Kaitlin has been a little unsettled today, she had two sleeps today but not for long.  She will usually sleep for about 2 hours in the middle of the day but not today. 

She is getting so strong, she does her mini pushups and tries to get her bum up in the air at the same time, she looks so funny.  She has also decided that instead of sucking her dummy she would rather suck her toes, I remember Haylee doing that.  She can sit for a little while before falling to the side but if she falls forward then she puts her hands out to stop her.  I'm assuming that it won't be long before she is sitting but who knows, I was sure she would be crawling soon but although she can push herself a little, there is no actually crawling going on.

I'm missing David like crazy,  he rings me every night and we probably talk more when he's away than we do when he's here....I must make it a point to change that when he comes back.

Time to sit down and have a little ME time, especially because Haylee is at the grandparents.  Have a good night everyone.