It was a very sad funeral, he was shot and it was all over a girl how sad is this. The funeral was huge over 700 people,  so so so so sad.

Then same week had a girlfriend who had her divorce come threw so she went on a holiday to dubhai to celebrate with another friend then on arrival to dubhai she was found dead in the toilet

they said it was cause by blood clots in the leg, she also was a nurse so I had her funeral on friday.  Her 3 children spoke at the funeral and she would have been so proud of them. she was only 40. I still cant beleive all this has happened hard to take in ........................

I would like to say a big thank you to all my friends that have left me messages, it is sweet so thank you and thanks angela (Harrisions mom) for the present.

The support means a lot to me, so thank you again. 

that is what the bad news was.  I have been threw this before and come out of it good ,

but it is now back and I'm feeling very scared. 

I just keep thinking what if what about my children,  the big (c)  runs in my family, have lost my dad to lung cancer a couple of years ago my dads twin sister, my dads brother lost his breast but is still alive but his daughter had breast cancer and she died a couple of years ago to

at the age of 38.  My mum side is the same, so now you might understand why Im so scared. Bit unsure yet if I have to have chemo or not.

Well thanks for ready and listerning it realy helps, wont be around for a while but will get my

sister to report in for me.  Take care all and thanks for your friendship xoxoxoxoxoxox

I'm a little bit scared as i do still love him and he will always be apart of our lives he is a good daddy and i cant take that away from him.  But the question is will it work or not and i no i just cant do it for hannah as i need to do this for me as well

Have had hHannah unwell aagain with asthma and bad ear infection, she has been very sooky but as we all now we know how we feel when we are unwell but for poor littles they cant tell you what is wrong.

Looking forward to the weekend as I have it of going t go up to the snow on mt.wellington and play in the snow. Then tommorow night have a girlfriend going in the road to tam worth compition at the casino  so realy looking foward to that it has been a while since I have been out.

well of to bed now

well finaly I have worked it out so Im not that dumb after all what a releif it is .  Still one problem dont know how to down load on to my lounge or blog can any one help .

pleasssssssssssssse

She is doing really well now but as for Luke well he is about to get his licences which really scares me he has money in trust for him that was left from his dad and now he is looking to buy a car so this is really scared, I'm starting to no how my mum was feeling with me growing up.

But i just have to face the fact that Luke is becoming independent now and is not a little boy any more.

For myself have been to the doctor about what i thought might of been depression and yes i was right it is he wonted to put me on anti-depression tablets but i have decided to try counseling first as im not a big believer in taking tablets but who no i might have to in the end.  I have been really busy working so this keeps my mind of things.

Hannah is of to day care Friday for three hours for the first time don't no how she will go but im hoping she will like it as i feel she needs to mix with children her own age so its going to be very interesting to see how she goes.  They like you to just drop her of but i have told them that i would like to stay a little while to see how she goes before i decide to leave.

This poor little girl is always sick I thought she was on the mend.

I have been feeling a little depressed lately and is not real sure what to do i said to my girlfriend about postnatal depression and she laughed at me and said you only get that after you have a baby not when your child is 1, so if there is any one out there that could help or no any thing about this please let me no cause I really don't no what to do

maybe its just me being silly. 

I'm all ways crying for no reason, I have lost my appitite,and just done all the time ?????????????????????????????????????????????

any way have good weekend to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It has been a really busy month for me have been working heaps so have really had much time to do any thing else but work,cook,clean, not very exciting at all.  I did go shoping today and got a bargin two jumpers $5 dollars each at target even tho I hate shopping.  Then hannah and I and luke went and got some lunch had to fill in a little time before I had my taxes done.  I was very happy when I came out of there Im getting 3000 back so I was ver very happy.  It top the day of nicely

lisam xxxxx

cheers lisam

Any way I popped it in cooked for 40m as required got it out iced it covered it with smarties went to mum in the afternoon with cake to do the family thing............I went to cut the cake and a knife wouldnt even cut it lol Im cracking up me is trying to make me feel good by saying some times this can happen my sister cracking up it was just so funny.  I ended up cutting the cake with the electric knife any way at least I made the effort and hannah wont remember her first birthday but every one else will they wont let me forget it.

After we had hard cake for afternoon tea we came home gotts hannah ready for bed and as I was running her bath luke was playing with her and she tripped and hit her mouth on the corner of the coffee table blood was ussing every were, she has now gone to bed with a very sore mouth and I gave her some panadol to help with the pain.  It has been a great day.

oh well im giving up on it now .

I got so excited I scared her so Im hoping she is walking before her birthday on the

9-5-08. How cute would that be??????????????????

She is now in bed so its my time and thought i would jump on minti for a minute, the last couple of days people have been putting question in the question&answer and I have noticed there is a lot of reporting as its not a parenting question , as there is a lot of none parenting questions Im

just wondering were else can these be put maybe addmin can put a new area just for any sort of question then no-one would have to report any -one for this.  Any way just a thought

nite nite xx

Got there it was very hard didnt no what to say but I just went with the flow and she just burst into tears and I put my arms around her then I started crying.  We sat down and she just told me every thing and whats happens now as I said to her IM hear for you and your husband for any thing .  She couldnt thank me enough.

Thanks a gain to all that helped you no who u are cheers lisam xxx

We got bad news my mums sister died today the one I have mentioned in other blogs it a blessing...............................

Nite nite all

I havent been able to get on my computer I think some one has sent me a virus and I excepted it my page keeps going white so, my new computer I have proberly stuffed. Im gonna get some one to come and have a look in the moring as I dont no enough about computers.  I have had a lovely weekend to hannah to the park today as it was a beautiful sunny day then come home cooked t Im about to go to bed so night night all .

Well last night still no changes with hannah she seems to enjoy the bottle of water but il keep doing the for a rew more days,  Im starting to wonder if im might be giving her to much water.

She is just being naught its like just as i get into bed she know's mummy is going so il just wake up lol but i still love her and adore her &(luke).  They are my life , As for luke I have sat and had a talk with him about the smoking issue and I look at it this way if I ask him not to smoke he will still do it behind my back.  So I have told him he can smoke at home (out) side and if I catch him smoking when with friends like in town or up the bike track , school uniform as he is at private collage (grandparents pay for schooling).  There will be some sort of punishment,   you wont to be treated as an adult you need to also act like one. 

So lets see how it goes he is normaly pretty good but we all no what teenages can be like.  now about me,  I have met a lovely man we have been friends for a little while only talk now and then but since my partner died (8years ago) 

I took a step right back until I met hannah"s dad but that was very short wont say a mistake as I have my gorgouse little girl.  Well he rang me tonight and wonts to take me out I said I would think    about it and let him no saturday.

But deep down my heart is pounding and I would realy love to but Im to scared  to but as my gf said its only a night out have a meal and maybe go to the pics.  Oh well maybe some of you could tell me what you think I should do.

Would it be wrong or right of me its a hude decision or am I over reacting ????????????

Nite to all xx