mcm's Minti Blog

Feminism and motherhood.

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:36:00 -0800

I read with great interest these two articles 2002 2008.
I grew up wanting to be a mother. A career never interested me. Not sure why. I would say I wanted to be a teacher, a childcare worker, a youth worker or anything to do with children. Really I just wanted to be a Mum but you can't say that. You have to make something up! I was never told I could be whatever want (something I tell my children) but rather told that I couldn't do certain things for totally irrational reasons. I wanted to be a youth worker. You can't, you aren't confident enough. I wanted to be a writer. You can't, you don't have what it takes. Maybe I am weak for listening to them but I am glad I did. It would have not been what I really wanted to do. I didn't want to marry just anyone or just have children at any cost. But at 21 I did fall in love and marry. I had my first child at 22 and though my Mum cautioned against getting pregnant straight away, our marriage survived and its stronger now.

http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2007/10/29/what-does-a-feminist-mother-look-like/

How would you describe your feminism in one sentence? I am not a part of a movement, I am my own person. I don't belong to any group or label. But I feel strongly that as an individual I can make an impact and I have rights. Its all about human rights for me. When did you become a feminist? Was it before or after you became a mother? I have no clue- I am only starting to realise that I am and I believe it impossible for me not be interested in my rights! I have always been interested in human rights so its the same to me.
What has surprised you most about motherhood? I didn't expect to learn so much.
How has your feminism changed over time? More aware of the need for it, still trying to understand it. What is the impact of motherhood on your feminism? The balancing act - we all have value, nobody's needs are more important than anyone else's needs. So though I attend to my children I have to look after myself too.
What makes your mothering feminist? My children are equal with me in their value as is my husband, we work together as a family, I am not their slave, I am their mother, my husband's wife. How does your approach differ from a non-feminist mother’s? Honestly have no idea. What is a non-feminist? A misognist? How does feminism impact upon your parenting? I aim for equality and fairness. I question anything and everything whenever I can.
Do you ever feel compromised as a feminist mother? It is a balancing act. Do you ever feel you’ve failed as a feminist mother? Yes, no one is perfect.
Has identifying as a feminist mother ever been difficult? Yes. Its not something I talk about much. Its still something I am trying to work out. Why? The general consensus is that feminism is no longer necessary and we should be just be happy we have the vote. That is why we need feminism, we are far from equal with that attitude. We are given the impression all is well with us and we don't need to fight and we are should get on with our lives. The powers that be don't want us to indentify as feminists as it ruins their status quo.
Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist? Yes that is the balancing I realise. I need sleep, my child needs my care. I have learnt to meet in the middle ground and its something I have to think about in the big picture.The way I parent facilitates as much as possible the needs of our family as a whole.
If you have a partner, how does your partner feel about your feminist motherhood? He has only started to realise I am a feminist but is not that surprised. He has commented about those crazy feminist hippies. He married one and its changing the way he thinks and we are working more as a team than ever before. What is the impact of your feminism on your partner? We have more respect for each other. He sees my needs are just as important as his, that women are human and the issues that women face affect us all.
If you’re an attachment parenting mother, what challenges if any does this pose for your feminism and how have you resolved them? I think it makes it easier in some ways. Helps keep a better balance. If I feel connected to my children then I can address their needs and wants, in turn they feel more confident and independant and I feel more whole too. I still feel as though at times I don't have personal space or me time but it comes around and it is important to me. My children's well being is of utmost importance so its just a matter of prioritising, which is the challenge. Its not meant to be easy.
Do you feel feminism has failed mothers and if so how? In some ways yes, because the belief that feminists can't be mothers or don't want to be is wrong. We need the free thinkers and the questioners to be procreating. We need stronger families and it starts with mothers. Its sad to me that the biggest feminist issue is largely being ignored ie. Birth. Its the beginning, it is everything, it is so important and it involves women solely. Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers? Perspective....

Why do you like photos so much, Mum?

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:20:00 -0800

I enjoy reading other people's blogs as they articulate so much better what I want to say. I don't feel that confident in what I want to say so usually keep it brief. I have found it helpful to answer questions people put out there on things that interest me so I might put them up. There are some things that are so very important to me and the right words are hard to find. Most of the time I have my children here so they are the priority and I can't write clearly anyway without interruption. At the moment I am feeding J while I try to protect myself (he likes to tweak) and write this. As much as I multi task, its never perfect. There just isn't enough time in the day.
My 6 year old asked me why do I like photos so much. I explained that sometimes a picture can say 1000 words. Much easier sometimes to post photos than write essays.

So though some of my photos aren't that great, its the moment and it says more than I can say in words.

Spud stamping

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:03:00 -0800

The kids had wanted to paint but the paintbrushes went missing. I decided to cut up some potatoes. I meant for them to stamp with them but they initially moved them around the paper. Meanwhile my daughter was using tissue to paint with acrylics on canvas.

J was very curious to see what the kids were doing so I tried getting a hand print and foot print.- the latter didn't work out so great but the hand print is great.

Striped dragon hood.

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:42:00 -0800

This became somewhat a community project! Av coloured the yarns and decided he wanted me to make him a dragon hat. The boys picked a button and my 6 year old sewed on the button.

He was asking why I didn't use the sewing machine to sew the button on so I showed him that it's easy enough to do it by hand. He was surprised at how quick and easy it was.

I wasn't too sure about the stripes but the colours are amazing and makes for a fun hat. The heat has been on lately yet Av still wants to wear the hat. It is knit in aran organic merino.

For my Mum

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:34:00 -0800

I made my Mum a few things and a bag for her birthday. Shhhh, she hasn't recieved it yet.

My Birth, My Choice

mcm — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:37:00 -0800

Just a few things on the latest in regards to the amendments that will affect homebirth and therefore birth choices in Australia.

Greens-rally-in-support-of-midwives

Amendment controls women

Doctors-to-be-in-charge-of-midwives-homebirthing-and-of-course-women

My husband, the 2 youngest boys and I supported the rally which took place in Werribee at Julia Gillard's MP office. We are in this video at about 40 seconds.

It was a good turn out on a rather warm day. I am feeling quite bitter and let down about the Goverment's lack of understanding of what this will mean for women and society. I am concerned for my daughter in particular, she deserves to choose for herself.

Every woman, every choice

Kids wool tie

mcm — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:56:00 -0800

Modified for kids, my version of wool tie knitted with 1824

Aotearoa

mcm — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:56:00 -0800

Black singlet in Lily Sugar & Cream with NZ map on the front.

He is also wearing Av's Baa Bum guitar longies (J's now).

Organic Leaves

mcm — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:51:00 -0800

Junior Organic Leaves
Originally uploaded by inakid

I had wanted to make Autumn Leaves for a while but thought it may be better for a small baby. I finally decided to make it just for cluckiness sake and its so cute. I used leftover Woolganics in Gaia. Its tiny though its big on the kids' dolls so I imagine it may fit a newborn.

Jelly colours

mcm — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:46:00 -0800

On Av's birthday he wanted to colour his wool I gave him with jelly and food colour. It was excessive by the amount he used but its all fun!

The result was fantastic, he wants me to make everything with it! but may just settle for a dragon hood.
Av also helped with colouring some more organic merino with jelly - lime and grape.

Air Fighter lazy pants

mcm — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:35:00 -0800

I tackled the sewing machine and didn't quite win but here was my effort anyway. A pair of lazy pants and bag in air fighter fleece print. I added a crocheted drawstring because its easier and lazy pants are all about easy.

Av loves his lazy pants so that is the main thing. And for $3 for the fabric its good to practice my sewing.

Around the World

mcm — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:26:00 -0800

The shorties crocheted from the wool received from Jodie. It looks not unlike a world map at least with the colours. They are a good fit on J who hasn't been very well in the past week. This crazy up and down weather in Melbourne is to blame, I think.

My boy is the awesome 4

mcm — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:54:00 -0800

Four years of age, that is.

We asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday.
"Just get me everything"

I was worried he would be upset that we didn't get him "everything" but he seemed to adore all that he got and did on his forth birthday. For the record, he got a blanket and toys crocheted by me as well as clothes, wooden pretend play toys (cooking related), drum pad and drumsticks.

I also gave him approx 50grams of organic merino with jelly and food dye. He was very excited to have his own wool to colour and has grand plans for me to make something for him.

It was a warm day so we went to get icypoles.

The big kids were home from school so we all went bowling with Dad.

Av got a strike as did his brother. J wanted to pick up the bowling balls and throw them no doubt!

J fell asleep after a feed while the kids played 2 games and then had games of air hockey.

Happy 4th Birthday!

4 Years

mcm — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

4 years ago, I had my third baby. I had wanted to 'accidently' have him ( I didn't know he would be a boy ) at home in the shower. I didn't. I went to hospital and breathed him out hoping I wouldn't tear. I had been kicked out of the birthing centre for borderline low iron levels and was considered high risk. This meant I was monitored/ watched and I did my best to tune out the world. I still tore as he came into the world but my recovery was better despite having a drip and catheter inserted post partum.
It was then that I decided I didn't need the interference and my next child would be born at home ( and he was).

My daughter's birth would have been all that much better if I was left alone to birth her. I still feel traumatised at how I felt being watched during my first son's labour. I found it very difficult to overcome and this being the year of birth trauma awareness it is something I want to work through.

I feel I have been on a journey and so I do not regret what I have experienced as difficult as it has been. I think it has given me passion to listen and trust my instinct. There is nothing more important.

So today my boy is 4.

A wonderful boy he is. He still likes to climb and play, have cuddles and chat. His vocabulary has improved and he has such a way with words. Unfortunately his health isn't the best though he takes it in his stride. Asthma sucks.

So today I wish my son a very happy and healthy birthday with many more to come.

I really like surprises!

mcm — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:10:00 -0700

I got a surprise in the mail from Jodie.

I don't feel I deserve such a lovely gift but I appreciate it all the same.

Swimming

mcm — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:02:00 -0700

Sometimes Daddy takes the kids swimming. We prefer the beach but the pool is closer. We are having some warmer weather so J and I came along.

This was J's first time in the pool. He was weary at first but once in he was content.

Av has great water confidence, putting his head and face under the water, which is something the big kids still struggle to do.
The three big kids want to have swimming lessons now, just for fun. The two eldest have been to lessons through the school before.

Rollerskates

mcm — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:13:00 -0700

Early birthday present...

Mitred crochet blanket

mcm — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:25:00 -0700

Here is the finished crocheted mitred blanket in Anchor Magicline cotton ready for Av's 4th birthday on Monday. It was fun and a little challenging for me to make.

Neighbours

mcm — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:12:00 -0700

Neighborly is a great pattern for a tunic play style top. It fits all my boys which I really like and it was ajoy to knit especially with the yarns, Noro Kureyon, Lanaloft and 1824 wool.

Finger Painting

mcm — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:27:00 -0700

Av wanted to do some painting but we had no paintbrushes or paper!. We ended up doing dome finger and hand painting. He did his hands and a butterfly and spider.

We have no real internet access at the moment. We can use MSN but thats it. Strange but true. ITs actually interesting using the internet cafe, the computer and access is fast but the company is not that much fun! We leave the kids at home with their Aunty so we can get more done *sigh*