I do NOT want to take my daughter out of her fathers life. I am not that type of person, though I could be convinced but I could NEVER do that to him. It would just make things alot harder than what they are going to be right now.
Just like he said, he doesn't want to take her out of my life. Which is why sometimes I am afraid that when I go out {cuz I don't want to be here when he's home, so I go out} that he will take her and not give her back. That's what scares me the most.

He said he was going to pay for the divorce.. Wow, we haven't even gotten that far yet.. I guess I have to get a lawyer now?? Any help here would be great.. From anyone who has gone through this.. I can't afford a lawyer, so I think I might have to go through legal aid or something.. Though, his mother works for them.. I hope that doesn't cause anything there..

Oh, the stuff I got to go through and I'm only 23 years old.. Wow...

Anyways... I'm still here.. Beginning of a new week???? Maybe, we will have to wait and see.. Sorry there isnt much more that I can write.. Im just not too sure on what else I can say.. Just going through alot right now, stressed and its just not good over all...

Going through alot of stuff lately.. Seperation and trying to find my own place for Caker and I that will allow a dog and maybe a cat...

My birthday is on Wednesday, the 8th... Anyways.. I need to get going.. Thought I would write something at least to let everyone know, I'm still alive!!!

NOT a dent on his truck, only on mine.. HOW nice is that?
Thankfully, Caker was not in the Jimmy with me.. I was on my way to get her actually! Phew for that one though!! :)

I guess we'll see tomorrow once I wake up, how my shoulder is.. Its in a bit of pain when I move it... Eeek?

So far we've gotten Cadence.. You know, I think I might of blogged about this before HAHAHA.. Well not all of it, but most of it.. Anyways, I got her my little pony toys, one is stuffed and one isn't.. That's all so far.. We will go clothes shopping for her.. I'm thinking size 3 and higher.. Probably 4.. But I think I have to go to the "girls" section for that because they don't got it in the toddler section :( So we'll see what happens when we go for her!

Now, I'm just gonna relax while the dishwasher is going, watching some TV and that's about it!!! Night

My blood work showed everything good, same with my pap test was normal.. Good news.. Nothing but good news.. WOOHOO!

I'm a wee tired one tonight.. Thankfully on the drive home today I wasn't tired like I normally am.. Yesterday driving home, I was real tired all of a sudden to where I wanted to sleep again.. GEEZ.. Thankfully I didn't and I hate feeling that way because I just don't feel like myself! I will have to mention that to him again I think.. See what he thinks..

I must go to bed, its already after 10 and close to 1030 so its beddie bye time lol...

Will let you know how my appointment goes tomorrow!! Hopefully its ok!!

Its just funny.. Some people I tell you.. They just.. Well, I dunno.. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Anyways, I get my money back, thats all that matters now!!!

I had 10 days to get out of my contract ON the 10th day they told me not to return.. BUT they will not give me my money back.. Stupid fuckers.. I am sorry but I am NOT happy with them.. They can go pound shit for all I care.. I will NEVER referr them to ANYONE.. They are fucking retards and they will tell you anything to get your money!!!!!! That's exactly right and what they did do to me..

HAHAHAH they even want me to pay a buy out, I don't friggen think so. It is NOT happening.. If they TOLD ME NOT TO RETURN then I AM NOT GOING TO PAY ANYTHING.. Why should I??? I should NOT have to pay a single thing. So I wrote a termination letter (since they told me to, why I am NOT returning) and I did just that. I kept the original copy and gave them a photo copy.. Too bad for them.. If they don't give me my money back, then I am going to go to the media about it.. Stupid fuckers.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH

Shit like this, DOES NOT help my blood pressure at all!! OH NO IT DOES NOT.. God I hate people and especially curves.. They can all go screw themselves for giving nothing but lies since I joined!!!!!

Oh, I even had blood work done today as well.. Yup I did.. Man, I will never do it again.. It took the girl 2 tries before she said "oh, I am gonna have to get someone else to do it for me" my fuckin arm hurts.. She tried my left arm first, couldn't get anything, even though she kept poking and pushing it more into the vein to see if blood would come out.. Then she goes to my right arm, does the same thing ALL over again.. more poking it into the vein to see if any would come.. THEN she finally goes and gets the guy, and he got it right on the first shot.. DUH.... Fuck man... Some people just should NOT be in that type of business where they gotta draw blood EVERY day!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..

So needless to say, I got a bruise on my arm, it hurts and I am not in a very good mood at all.. Especially with finding out I got high blood pressure.. I might have to go on meds for it as well.. My mom and dad both got it and it runs in the family.. I AM TOOO YOUNG to have it.. My mother said so and so did my mother in law..

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME?? WHY???????

We bought Caker 2 toys for Christmas.. My little pony (stuffy, it's quite cute) and another my little pony toy (not stuffy) I'm sure she'll love it.. The one (which isn't the stuffy) smells like Root Beer, mmmmmm.. So yummy!
I remember playing with My Little Pony when I was a child, I'm glad they are back out again!!
I also bought my neice Hannah Montana Make-Up thingy.. I'm hoping she will love it.. She loves Hannah Montana and Bratz (Chole only!) So I will end up sending the stuff down for my family.. Probably get my sister an IPod and god knows about my mother.. She keeps telling me nothing but I gotta get her something.. Hmmmm????? Any suggestions?? She loves robes and slippers (i think slippers) and I can't remember what else.. I am not too keen on asking her because she will know exactly why I am asking!!

Today, is not a good day in my family.. 3 years ago today (September 7th) my poppy (grandfather) passed away.. Now, I find out from my aunt that my nanny (grandmother) isn't doing too well either.. 1% of her vessels are working to her heart and she's had 2 minor heart attacks already and the next one she has, might be the last of her :(
So, needless to say I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I don't have the money to fly down to see my family. I want to be there for my family when the time has come but it's going to be hard. I haven't seen any of my family in over 5 years.. Since I was 18!!
I just hope that my nanny is going to be ok and I want my aunt to keep updating me as well..

My mother actually never told me, and I don't think she will until the time has come. She doesn't want to get me worried but now I am.. My aunt is the one who told me, so that I can prepare myself for the worst. She told my mom that and my mom doesn't want to believe it.. Usually whatever my aunt says, she means it..
So we will see what happens from here on out.. My mom and aunt want answers from the doctors and gonna make an appointment to see a specialist.. We already know that they can't work on my nanny because with only 1% of them working, its a very high risk of her not coming out of the surgery..

Anyways.. Another topic.. Hopefully.... My appointment goes well tomorrow.. I should go to bed.. I am quite tired, watching Two and a Half Men.. It's pretty funny!! LOL! Now its over, so night night all :)

Last night when I was driving home after picking up Caker (and before actually) I felt like I wanted to sleep. I didn't want to drive. Thankfully I got home alright and relaxed after we had some food.. Phew!!
But Caker wasn't feeling well herself.. She just wasn't her normal self. She went and rested up onto the loveseat.. Hmmm.. Then I took her to bed about 745 (a little earlier than her normal bed time but she said she was tired) then I had a hot bath myself.. Man, that felt good.. I didn't want to get out and I think I was in there for half an hour.. WOW, crazy eh?? With my tub being soo big around, it made it different that's for sure!! Soo comfy and relaxing!! :)

Then I have to go into the city some time today to get the stuff for my face (Proactiv), it does when when I use it like I am suppose to.. hahaha..

I think I may be coming down with something, especially if I don't feel good enough to drive (feeling sleepy) you would think that would wake me up, but I guess not.. EEK!

I should get going, need to pick up some stuff for hubby and before all that happens I need to take the dog out for his morning duties!!

I've been working all week.. Mostly, expect for Monday where I had it off because of Labour day then this Monday I got off because I have a doctors appointment to go to!!!

Anyways.. The new Bones show is on and I should go watch it.. Have a good night all..

Miss you :)

It's raining today... The power went out over night, AGAIN!!!!!!! Go figure, living out in no where land I guess your power goes out more than what it should, lol!! Oh well, it came back on that's all that matters, I suppose!!

Today won't be much of a day.. Gotta go into Calgary AGAIN, man, I have no idea why we just don't live there again.. It looks like we are in there more than we are at home.. Gas prices went up again, from 122.9 to 131.9 crazy... So more money I gotta fork out for when I pay for gas.. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... I heard somewhere at work that gas is suppose to go up to 175.. I sure as hell hope not.. I do not want that to happen, no way in hell.. Thats just cruel if you ask me lol!!

Gotta get going, put a jacket on and get into the truck.. Bye everyone :)

I got a Toshiba, its nice... Real nice.. Need to get used to it though. It's quite different from the Lenovo that I have been using!! All in time, I suppose!!

Would you think... 3 days and it will be Septeber 1st.. CRAZY eh?? I just can't believe it myself..

Oh yeah.. We had our power out for 4 hours last night.. NUTS.. Some stupid idiot drove through where he wasn't suppose to and knocked down alot of power lines (main ones i'm thinking) Well finally about almost bed time, the power comes back on.. GRRRRRRRRR lol.. Ah oh well, at least it came back on!!

Thats my news for today.. Not much to report on!!

Just checking in, is all!!

Hubby got home today, he will be home for a week.. Already, its not going so well.. Go figure.. Nothing ever seems to go good.. Now that he's home for a week, can I go somewhere for a week?? Would be nice though, wouldn't it?

My god, my mind went blank.. Hahahaha.. That hardly ever happens..
I was gonna type something but I totally forgot.. Opps, my bad.. Sorry!!

Maybe next time??

I guess thats the only good news I got for you all today..

But I made you think didn't I..? That I had more news, hehe... I'm a sneaker :P

Ok, I'll let you know what she's done in the past week..

Taken litter out of the litter box and PUT it EVERYWHERE. I mean in big huge ass blobs of it in my bedroom, all through-out the hallway upstairs and obviously in the same room as the litter boxes are in.. (She's done this twice now, today and on Tuesday I believe it was)

NO, closing the door is NOT an option..

Then... She's taken potting soil out of the tree that we have in our living room and spread it all over the livingroom carpet (beige carpet) and in the dining room... This was on Tuesday too I believe.. Then yesterday she took it out and put it on the kitchen table and chairs (such a very nice set that we had handed down to us) and all over the carpet again.. (it's VERY hard to get out of carpet, especially when it's a very light colored beige)

NO, I do not have another place where she can't get at it.. Getting rid of it, ain't an option either.. (my husbands mother gave us it because when my husband was younger (5 yrs old) he bought her this tree and she gave us it)

Caker, is really getting on my last nerves lately... She just will NOT listen to me at all.. I mean, she even goes banging her feet on the floor to the point where I can hear everything rattle.. I smack her ass and she will still keep doing it. She will bang on the windows and I can hear it if I am outside with the dog (i can see her through the window) and even her running to the door to get me and Pilsner back in, I can hear that..

How can I stop her... I want her to start listening to me and NOW.. I have given time outs (in her room) and she will just scream at the top of her lungs with a screeching sound and its annoying and I'm sure my neighbours don't like it either.

I just want her to respect myself, her father, others and her toys and of course the animals as well.. We have threatened to take the kitten away because of the way she's picking him up, throwing him off the sofa or coffee table and just being really mean to this kitten :(

We have even threatened about throwing out all of her toys if she doesn't pick them up and that doesn't work. It's always me ending up picking up the toys (they are in the living room here - as she has ALOT in her room already!)

I just have no idea what has gotten into her lately and it better get out quick and FAST as I can't deal with her attitude and the way she treats us.. Mind you, she does have excellent manners (thank you, welcome, please and bless you she all says)

Soon, I am hoping????

I didn't get much sleep last night, and then Caker decided to wake up early because she wanted to!
Meh, don't much more I can do about that.

I can't wait til it's bed time.. I just have to let dinner settle down a bit then head upstairs and go into my nice and cozy bed!

I have the next 3 days off, so I am quite excited about that. Was suppose to have today off but yesterday they asked if I could work it.. Whatever, its 5 extra hours that I got to work that will be on my next pay cheque so that's ok with me!

I think now it's time for bed.... Night all!! :)

I'm  not feeling too well.. I have a huge ass migraine and with just stress of everything its just getting to me.. ALOT!

The young woman who was helping me, she told me she lost 26lbs and I can't remember how many inches she had lost.. I hope it will work..

I want to do it, but I'm not to sure exactly..
It's $199 start up fee (right now I can have it at $67.66) and then if I sign up for a 12 month program I pay $49 a month (plus taxes) so it's not that bad.. Cheaper than most places!!

She took all of my measurements.. My weight, asked my height and all sorts of stuff.. Nothing out of the normal!!

What do you seem to think.. Should I do it??
I need some help in this part I think.. People to talk to, etc...
Encouragement I think.. Or whatever it is.. I can't remember the word I am looking for.. lol...