I hate those guessing games

But he refused to tell me until I had had a few guesses !!!!!!!!!!

Eventually he told me he had been learning about safe sex...........

I quickly jumped in with how I knew a great solution to safe sex.............

DON'T HAVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!

Course we laughed and he said "Mum you just proved me right, I told my mate you would say that !!!!!"

I love my kids so much, I'm sure you can tell but Thomas is so lovely at the moment, since my last blow up about saying I needed help around the home he keeps doing little things for me, making me a cup of tea without my asking, checking and emptying the bins.......he does it all without drama or letting me know he is doing helpful things, but I make it perfectly clear that I have noticed and how much I appreciate it. He just gives me a smile and says its ok!!! Isnt he lovely, especially for a 14 year old !!!!!!

Daniel came to the doctors with me last night, whilst I was having my eyes examined the dr wanted me to stare at a fixed point over her shoulder, which i tried very hard to do..........Daniel thought he would help by making faces at me exactly where I was looking!!!!!!!! So I had to keep my head still, eyes staring, whilst through gritted teeth requesting Daniel go and sit down nicely !!!!!!!!!!!! I got a brilliant reward though last night, Daniel gives THE most excellent foot massages !!!!!!!

Boys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything checks out, I have had concussion, the bump is still there but the symptoms I described are stereotypical with concussion, my blood pressure is a bit low but I think that is a separate issue anyway as I have been a little prone to getting a head rush every time I jump to my feet anyway.

The only thing that alarmed the dr was when I described, pebble like shapes floating in front of my eyes every now and then, she was then very thorough with my eyes as it could have meant optic nerve damage or retina problems but she couldn't find anything wrong just made me promise to go for a thorough eye check, easy promise as the threat was A and E !!!!

I'm just so tired !!!!! So annoying. But at least I got it checked out

Also told her I stopped taking my tablets a few months back, she was shocked at my drastic cold turkey method but pleased for me that I was doing ok.  I asked if I was truly being me now or still had some meds in my system, she assured me they are out of my system and its all ME !!! So I'm thrilled about that

I have to be careful and rest when I can for a further 5 days, I was like sure......I'll just get the maid to do the washing and cleaning and the nanny to sort the boys out leaving the cook to do all the cooking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warning to all, don't stand too close to anyone playing with a diablo !!!!!!!

Thanks to those for the kind wishes, just thought I would drop by, I'll catch up with everyone elses news later, Hope everyone else is doing ok

xxx

When it hit me I thought "Ouch !!!!" The poor little boy who did it was almost in tears, he was so sorry it was a genuine accident so I didn't make anything of it, I did check it because it felt like it was bleeding but it wasn't, I mentioned it to my supervisor who told me to put it in the accident book but I told her it was fine !!!!!!!!!!!!!

During Thursday afternoon I developed an headache and by early evening I was in real pain, started being sick and so lay on the sofa where I spent the entire evening falling asleep, so yesterday I went back to work and decided I would record it in the accident book after all as clearly I must have had some mild concussion.

Its been a long and frustrating week at work, Why do some teachers make you feel as you are the scum of the earth just because you are a dinner lady !!!!!! Most of the teachers don't even acknowledge us in the school, we heard a rumour that the school has appointed a new Head Teacher, the teachers were told, the children were told, even the parents were told, but none of us dinner ladies were told, not even the supervisor. the kids are so disrespectful, why should they have respect for adults that the teachers don't even notice. We had a rain break this week and took all the children in, next thing they were all running from class to class saying Mrs......says we can go back out!!!!!! We didn't know what was going on so we have had enough!!!!

We made a list of our problems and the supervisor went to see the head, as always she was very apologetic and says she will sort it out as its not acceptable, but we have heard it all before so we'll see. Basically we told her if the teachers need a lunch hour they should take it, if they want to carry on working then sack us, we won't be over ruled by the teachers if the Head is telling us we are in charge at lunchtime.

Its Saturday now I still have my headache but its so much better and I have a lovely egg on the side of my head !!! Very pretty LOL

I have to see I was literally over the moon with the report

I cant believe how well he has done, I was thinking as long as he does his best then after the year he has had then he will have done exceedingly well

But no!!! Both teacher and head teacher made comments like Daniel being a pleasure to teach !!!!

Making observations about his maturity, ability, wanting to learn, how he mixes with his peers, contributes to discussions, all of it was REALLY  good !!!!!

Bless him I am so proud.

Thomas brings his soon and I'm expecting that to be the same kind of report too.

This morning as I was leaving mums, I reversed out of her drive and back up the road, when I noticed another car put on their reversing lights and pull out of their drive right onto my path !! I quickly stopped but she still just skimmed my car, we both jumped out and her Mum who had been seeing her off, ran out and said I think you're both ok !!! As far as I could see there was no damage, but the laugh was the young girl looked at me and said "Where did you come from??" I showed her my parents drive, she then said "Were you whizzing back !!!!!" I was quite cross and told her that I definitely was NOT, I had actually stopped, her Mum then dropped her in it by saying she was shouting at her daughter to stop but she couldn't get her daughters attention !!!!!! So the girl asked me if I was okay and to let her know if I found any damage later !!!!

"Cheeky so and so" I think she wanted to blame me, but she was reversing out of a drive with a fence so would have had no vision whatsoever, which indicates to me she should have edged her way out, not just rammed into reverse and put her foot down !!!!!!!!!

I asked why he meant One last time and he apologised saying he was sorry but he needed to see him one last time.

I explained Daniel had  misunderstood me, I meant why did he think it would be just one last time of seeing his own dad??? I put it to him that maybe in time he would go back to seeing him alternate weekends.

Daniel broke my heart with his answer........."The thing is Mum, there are two Daniels, the Daniel that gets messed up when I have anything to do with my dad and the Daniel I am when I don't see him, I only like the Daniel i am when I don't have a dad !!!"

I chatted with him once again confirming that as far as I was concerned, he would always have a dad but it would always be his choice when he sees him. As often or as little as Daniel wanted.

What else can I do???? I know there are still people that believe its me that still stops both Thomas and Daniel from seeing their dad. I only promised the boys that it would always be their choice and thats what i am doing.

They also distorted my voice so it was my words but in some strange voice LOL

I actually was really nervous, I rang Mum and Dad to make sure they were listening, course they were !!!!!!

It seems really funny now as I did the interview a few months ago and its like I'm a whole different person nowadays, but I think it came over ok, they obviously edited out the questions so it left me talking for a few minutes.

I was just thinking that wouldn't it be funny if x had heard it and then writes a letter asking what I was playing at, telling my story on the radio............I have the perfect answer !!!!!!!!!

"What !!!!! you recognised yourself from that story !!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ha ha ha ha

Don't think he would dare admit to anything !!!!!!

Its being aired on Monday !!!!!!

Could be interesting LOL...........

Made another giant leap today, I was working in the school hall, when one of my colleagues came in and said to make sure I stayed indoors out of the way as the school next door, (access to this school by vehicle is through the playground of our school !!!) had a child needing medical attention and an ambulance was on the way !!!!! In the past this would have had me running into the store cupboard seeing that x is an ambulance man and still following me around !!!!! Today I decided that I didn't care, I finished my work then made my way to the playground just as the Ambulance arrived !!!!! And I really didn't care!!!!

As it happens it wasn't him, but I didn't know that at the time so I am going to give myself a pat on the back for that !!!! haha

I'll accept pats from anyone who knows what a major thing this is for me, .......... even funnier is that I went to my parents after school and didn't even mention it, it was such a non event that I forgot, I only remembered now as Daniel and I were driving through town and an ambulance passed us !!! So sorry Mum you'll have to read about it here

Tonight is going to be a long evening................ was so tired this late afternoon haven't been sleeping well lately but its all good its not stress related, actually I think I'm enjoying life so much that I just stay up all hours not wanting the day to end LOL, so anyway I came home with the boys made a cup of tea and sat down to watch Nadal playing tennis...........I woke up over an hour later !!!!!!!!!!!

A little while ago Thomas was asked to help out at a Football Tournament, his friend invited him to go as his team mate was not able to play and they needed an extra player. When Thomas got there, he was actually asked to play for a completely different team that went on to win the whole tournament, so he was very happy !!!! At the end of the day the Coach asked Thomas for his phone number.

This week he had a call from the Coach to say they wanted Thomas back in the team permanently. He has even got a small contract saying he wants to be in the team. he is really pleased.

If you knew my Thomas, he is a confident but extremely laid back 14 year old who takes life pretty much how it comes and you rarely see him getting over excited about anything. If he wants you to know he is happy about anything, the usual response is the one word "Cool !!!" Well when the contract came in the post which looks pretty basic and un complicated, we had a "Thats so cool !!!" So I think he is pretty ecstatic LOL

Yesterday Daniel was in a local schools Basketball tournament, he was very keen and very excited, Daniel is the complete opposite to Thomas, he refuses to use one word answers when 150 words will do (can't think where he gets that from) so all week I have heard just about every detail of how he was going to play, who was in the team, how excited he was...................

I collected him from school last night and he was thrilled to tell me that his team came 2nd in the tournament, but the best news for him was that he was given a certificate by the organisers as being "The most valued player of the tournament!!!"

Have you any idea what it does to the confidence of a child like my Daniel to be linked to the word "Valued" I believe he has grown an extra foot with how high he is holding his head up. I could not have written a better script for him.

What an awesome word "VALUED"  One of the biggest confidence boosters in the English Dictionary .

So here is one very proud Mum of her two boys

Just thought I would introduce myself as the new ME!!!!!!!!!

Finally at this stage of my life, I know who I am, I know where I have been and I know where I want to be going !!!!!

I havent told hardly anyone but several weeks ago whilst all the mediation crap was going on I made a decision to stop taking my medication !!! It was a bit scary but I felt as long as I was taking anti depressants it was like I was still allowing ( ) to have some kind of say on my life and my decisions.

I didn't do it by the recommended way, as in going to the doctor but decided I just wasn't going to take them. This could have been dangerous and its not the best way of stopping but for me I was so determined, it worked !!!!

I have not taken any anti depressants for about 2 months now and I feel great. I am in total control of my emotions, I have had some huge issues to deal with and I have COPED fine !!!!!!!

Not even my parents knew I was stopping the meds, I just surprised them one day with the news that I hadn't taken any for several weeks, had they noticed a difference in me?????? They hadn't so I KNEW I was going to be ok

This has been the total and undeniable proof to me that I was never insane, I was never mentally unbalanced, I was never having a breakdown. It was all HIM

So this is ME, I like ME, I hope my friends will always like ME, I KNOW my family like ME and LOVE me, Even my distant son deep down, he loves me, if he had no feelings for me he wouldn't be confused right now, he can't talk to me because he doesn't want to hurt me deep down. Otherwise where are the abusive emails from him asking me to leave him alone???? I KNOW he LOVES me

he was 11 on Monday and was spoilt rotten...........but who cares ??????

Thomas and I gave him a Basketball stand, as he dreams of being a famous Basketball player for his favourite team LA LAKERS

He had some great pictures and I thought I would share some of the best pictures on here

His grandparents bought his a Transformer Bumblebee MP3 Speaker set, which as you see from the smile he was VERY happy with

His uncle gave him the LA Lakers kit, I love this picture as it captures his pleasure in a great way

Of course every child has to have a Birthday Cake and as there were no Basketball cakes around, Daniel was more than happy with the Simpsons

Finally, Daniel happy to pose in the LA LAKERS kit, holding the Lakers ball from his sister and BF, next to the Basketball stand from Thomas and I

All equals one happy boy !!!!!!!

Thomas, Daniel, my brother Marc and I drove to London, where I had pre booked tickets to see the Dr Who exhibition at Earls Court. We are all devout Dr Who fans so we were all excited. At least I think we all were, Thomas always plays down all emotions, if he says its cool then he is extremely excited !!!!!!!

In the foyer of the exhibition is a model of the Tardis so that was Daniels first photo call !!!!!

The first "chamber" were the shop mannequins from the 1st episode with Christopher Eccleston as the Dr. Not a good omen for me, as it was clearly shop dummies and I was positive I saw one move and was terrified, jumped out of my skin and yelped !!!   much to the embarrassment of the boys and my brother !!!!!

The exhibition is set up really well and it kind of runs from chamber to chamber with most episodes covered. After the "scary" mannequins we were met by a talking model of everyones favourite Dr Who..........David Tennant !!!!!

Thomas was clearly reluctant to pose by the models..............(yawn 14 years old and acting it too !!!!) however I did manage to convince him to please let me take at least one picture !!!!!! We settled on this one of both boys in front of the Face of Boe.

We saw mock ups of prosthetics from various "monsters" from the series, really clever how they make them I have to say, and just about every character you can imagine from the recent three series of Dr Who.

Naturally the best is saved for the end but before we get to the "you know whats !!!" we were met up the Cybermen, again Daniel was more than happy to pose next to these threatening creatures

After a few more harmless monsters we met the Daleks, that in itself was quite funny, as they are probably one of the most scary sci fi monsters, I asked Daniel to stand in front of one of them, and the funniest thing happened as the Dalek came to life with a light show and two more emerged with the immortal words "Exterminate !!!!" Daniel literally jumped off the floor and we had to laugh at him. I did get a great pic of him later though.

We decided to go and get some lunch and ended up in the McDonalds by Picadilly Circus, then walked up Regent Street to Hamleys Toy Store, there are 7 floors of toys here so the rule was to cover each floor level by level and if we got separated no one went up or down a floor until we were altogether again. This was a great plan and worked really well, It was great, there are demos of some of the toys on each floor and the boys loved it.

Finally we caught the tube back to the car park and I drove home.

We have had a fantastic day and all decided we want to do the same day again in August when my brother, sister in law, nephew and niece are over from Iceland. It will be great !!!! Just maybe Sylvie and I can accidentally slip away and do some decent shopping of our own too

WRONG !!!!!!!

Today I forgot my jeans and flatties so I ended up in the school field supervising 500 kids wearing  smart trousers and heels that I wear to the hospital !!!!!!

Heels on field duty by the way is a complete no no

I got to work and the other ladies were saying "look at you all dressed up !!!"

I was like "Grrrrr Don't talk about it, my jeans are neatly folded by the front door ready to put in the car !!!!!!"

Oh well I'll try again tomorrow

xxx

I was stood in the playground in my t shirt, jeans, flip flops/thongs, sunglasses.........and............my parka coat with the hood up.

I WAS FREEZING !!!!!

Crazy me this morning dressed for a June day and it turned into being closer to a February day !!!!!!!!! Why have I not learnt my lesson yet about the un predictable English weather............Oh wait a minute !!!!!!!! I did learn.......thats why my parka was in the car

Anyway just before the village on the way to Daniels school, I already had Thomas with me, and the road leads to a narrow railway bridge on a sharp blind corner, fortunately I saw the lorry coming so stopped, he didn't and came fast around the corner on my side of the road !!!!!!!!!!!! I had an angel watching over us tho as there was nothing behind us I slammed my car into reverse and just about got out of the way. Thomas and I then looked at each other and went "Whoo that was tooooo close !!!!" I'm so glad no one was following because if I hadn't have been able to reverse I am fairly confident it would have been rather ugly !!!!!!

Talk about out of the mouth of babes.............Daniel has told all his teachers about his "horrible" weekend !!!!!!! I guess we have no secrets when he is about LOL

xxx

Its because he is honouring Daniels request for a break !!!!!!!

Of course, why didn't we think of that ?????

Don't know if anyone remembers but I did blog at the time of the last communication weeks ago, that he asked Daniel how long the break was going to go on for, at which Daniel told him, that seeing he was there at the wrestling with him it was obviously over, to which his dad said he was expecting an email the next day to say the break was back on !!!!!

Well Daniel NEVER sent that email, instead he has spent 9 weeks wondering why his dad has been ignoring him !!!!! Well all I can say now is Daniel at first was gutted and went and lay on the sofa under a blanket sobbing, that his dad was blaming him !!!!! However as the day has gone on he is now furious that his dad once again has taken no responsibilty at all. Apparently Daniel says he can now go and stuff himself !!!!!!!!!

Do you remember that back in May 2006 I got a job in the local hospital, a few months later he got a job in the same hospital, which totally freaked me out

Then in June 2007 I was moved to a lovely little town and we wouldn't tell him the address, but then a few months later he became the Paramedic/Technician for that town, which totally freaked me out

Well the news he has sprung on Daniel today in his email is that he has now moved house and lives in OUR TOWN !!!! Grrrrr this time I am not freaked out at all, I kind of expected this, BUT I will be logging this with my solicitor in case I ever need to one day get that restraining order.

WHAT A JERK, LOSER, PSYCHO, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MALE

In the last 10 days I have also crossed paths with my one time best friend 3 times, the first occasion Amy and I drove past her and she had the gall to wave at us but I drove past, the 2nd time was yesterday I was parked outside Thomas's school and she was 2 cars away but I ignored her and finally today went into town with Thomas and Daniel and we passed her in the market.

If anyone thinks I am harsh with her, as far as I am concerned, she can say all she likes that she wanted to help us both but ultimately she listened to me for gossip and then reported to him and helped him, besides if she was taken in by him then that could only happen by her assuming I was telling lies !!!!!!

I'm actually proud of myself with the way I am coping these days

xxx

He also said that his teacher asked them all if there is someone they could talk to if they had questions, most of the boys said their dad but Daniel told his teacher, he doesn't contact his dad so he would be talking to Thomas !!!!!

Great !!!!!!! Can you imagine the questions LOL

Anyway in the evening he says he is going to have a bath now every morning and every night, because he now knows he is becoming a man and that will mean he will sweat more !!!!!!!!!

Also he told me that they had been making Fathers Day cards, (its Fathers Day here in the UK on Sunday) so I told him that was nice, did he want to post the card to try and see his dad?????

His answer " Nah, I didn't make one for him I made one for Grandad !!!!"

Having said that Daniel finally had an email today !!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I know I fainted almost

Daniel apparently emailed him first but didn't mention it, so his dad answered saying how lovely it was to hear from him and how much he misses him and how much he loves both boys !!!!!!!

Daniel answered " Yea I can tell, its nine weeks since you contacted me !!!!! Of course he told his dad he loves him but he also told me that nothing has changed and he doesn't want to see him !!!!!"

I'm actually proud of him that he is controlling this so well

xxx

Mmmmm so ok !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was downstairs trying to sort out our dinner and above me in his bedroom I could hear the sound of things being dragged, dropped etc at first I wasn't too alarmed as Daniel can't even read a book quietly !!!!!! However,  just as I was thinking I had better go and check on him, he came downstairs and casually strolled into the kitchen

I asked him "Hi mate, do you want my help with something ?????"

His response was a casually thrown response "Nah.............I just need a hammer !!!!!"

Needless to say he got the hammer and me too LOL

What was he doing?

He was thinking he could dismantle his bed and change his whole bedroom around. It went much better with me helping

Take That had their concert televised and I loved every second of it

I sang along and waved my arms about, even tried dancing LOL Much to my two boys total embarrassment but then they are used to me embarrassing them LOL I'm a big fan of Take That, can you tell ???

This evening poor Mum and Dad called in on their way home from church, to a typical evening war zone...........ok so it wasn't that bad but I saw some very sympathetic looks thrown my way from my Mum, isn't it typical just when you want the kids to be on their best behaviour they turn into these animals ............

Another week starts tomorrow, what joys or disasters will greet us all I wonder !!!!!

My hairdresser is a friend that has stuck with me, she knew ( ) too but  has a good insight into people and has since said that lots of things didn't add up with him, he did call her a couple of times when I left, his typical action being that although we were friends with her and her husband, it was her he rang not her husband for support, my friend said that she was my friend and if he wanted to talk to anyone talk to her husband but she was with me........neither of them heard from him again so they are both telling me he is a liar and  a loser !!!!! Anyway we have mutual "friends" although during the split because I retreated into my shell and he was going around visiting everyone in tears, he got the support, however my friend was telling me that now over 2 years later people are finally asking questions !!!!!!!!

Such as Why someone who claims to have continual blood pressure problems and heart attacks, would be accepted into the full time ambulance service when the job requires fully healthy personnel???

Why he kept telling everyone that God had healed him from his heart problems only to then have another attack, so the question is Why would God heal someone and then give them a reoccurrence of the same  every now and then???

Why has he spent so long crying over missing his boys, yet never see or contact them ???

The best news for me this week, however, was that I simply DON'T CARE !!!!!! If the truth comes out finally then obviously I will be relieved, its not nice living in a town that everyone called you a liar, BUT if the truth doesn't ever come out. I DON'T CARE !!!! I have come this far without the support of the people in my area, I don't need them now. I have moved on and am slowly and surely making new friends. But most importantly the friends that did stay with me are friends of the highest quality and a few quality friends ranks much higher than hundreds of small minded friends.

Had a run in with my darling children this week, over a take out !!!!!! I'd had a long and busy day, was worn out from not sleeping so suggested a take out, they had the cheek to have an arguement about what they wanted !!!!!!!!! Then when I asked someone to come in the car with me to run in and place the order none of them wanted to !!!!!! Argh!! i was so mad that I left my daughter with the boys and drove off, the boys were chasing after me but I shouted to them to go home, I then went to each take out and bought each what they had asked for, got home to find the house tidy, plates all ready and 3 subdued children who knew they had pushed a little too far !!!!!!!! They were then embarrassed to see I had gone to each take out to get them exactly what they had asked for......... since then, I have been deliberately quiet and told them I wouldn't be giving my opinion on anything until I had respect in my own home !!!!!!!!! I have had so many kisses its unbelievable LOL They are now clearing up their own mess, I get all the dishes done for me and I am even allowed the TV remote control LOL ironically I don't watch TV much LOL

Beginning to get really excited now as its only a few weeks until Simon, Sylvie, Jakob and Emily arrive, I look at their pictures and I can't tell you how much we all miss them, it will be so great to have them here for a few weeks

Have a great weekend everyone