Minti - Recent Comments on Question "7 year old's "friend" treats her bad"

Re: 7 year old's

KathrynR1402 — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:56:38 -0700

My kneejerk reaction was very much the same as Mystikals, and I agree completely about contacting childrens services - you owe it to the child involved. I am involved in childrens work at my church and I recently did a day course along with all the other children's volunteers, about keeping children safe, and all this behaviour is the type of thing we were taught to look out for and report - not to ignore. How many other people have ignored this behaviour already? Better safe than sorry.

Re: 7 year old's

janicepovey — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:48:53 -0700

You have done the right thing in telling the person in charge the Day Camp, so they are aware of the situation between the two girls...with a bit of luck, keeping them apart.....so your daughter can enjoy her time away.

If you don't want this child playing with your daugther or coming around, I feel you need to go and talk to the Grandparents...you don't have to have a confrontation with them, simply just explain the situation....saying you don't want this child coming around nor have her playing with your daugther.

I wish you well.

Re: 7 year old's

mystikal — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:31:05 -0700

Hey I don't mean to jump to conclusions but I see that sort of behaviour a lot in children who have been sexually assaulted. Now if that is the case, I'm not pointing fingers at her grandparents but that may even be the soul reason of their custody. I hope I am wrong but really it is a spitting image of the kind of behaviour I've seen in sexual abuse victims (The attatchments, the rudeness, meanness to more vulnerable children, movie preference). However, another question of mine, is what sort of grandparents would have those sorts of movies at their house with children? Why wouldn't they be hidden? Why weren't they being supervised?

I'm very sorry but this is my gut feeling... When I was younger I was sexually abused by my neighbour and I was victim of sexual abuse and child pornography. This is exactly how they lured me over to their house. They got their daughter to become friends with me, and that is the exact same way she behaved and treated me and then they got her to take indecent photos of me and then showed them to me and said to never come back, that if I told anyone they would show the photos to my parents. Then they moved. I can't apologise enough but I am being drawn to that situation and I hope it's not the same.

I think in this situation it's very important not to let your daughter go over to that house anymore. I'm a firm believer that you can't pick your children's friends but when their safety is being threatened, it's time to step in. Perhaps this is a lesson for you hun, it's time to step up and be assertive as you just don't know what your daughter may be in for if this girl hangs around. However, at the same time now that you are aware of this it may be worth your while to give children's services a call, explain this other girl's behaviour and get them to check out the place where she is staying and the people who are looking after her.

Re: 7 year old's

blue-raven — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:22:41 -0700

I've been thinking about your q's and I think this girl is jealous. You mentioned that she is being raised by her grandparents, so it may be worth asking how that came to be, she may be looking for parental love or just jealous that your daughter still has her parents. I would go and talk ti the grandparents and explain that your concerned about her and tell them about her behaviour. You also mentioned the sexual behaviour which may and I do stress may be a result of sexual interference. If you come from place of concern and tell them that you are worried about her emotional health and felt that they should know whats going on, they will be more than likely to accept what you say. I would apologize for being interferring but let them know you are concerned. As they say you attract more more flies with honey and you do with vinegar. They may not be aware or have concerns that you could confirm. It's good that she's going to church and that you've the leaders aware, hopefully they can give her some help.

As for your daughter if she knows something is wrong then she leave, by doing this she is setting an example to her friend. It seems like a big burden for such a little person but it will have an impact on this girl. Also teach your daughter to be assertive, you don't want this girl to be influence your daughter, you want her influencing this girl.

At the camp, if this girl becomes too much for have your daughter let the leaders know so they can spilt them up and give your daughter some respite. She shouldn't not go because this girl is there. Also have her hang out with others there so this girls influence is limited. A group will exert more pressure than an individual who doesn't comform.

I hope this makes sense

Cheers Raven