Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Discipline"

Re: tricky one..

EmpoweringParents — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:42:50 -0700

Many parents don't know how to discipline children but there are some programs available that will.

Discipline

Dawn — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 15:31:33 -0700

you said that you differ on some ideas, when not use the ideas that you both agree on and see how that goes.

discipline

jacensgrma — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 01:09:41 -0700

it is difficult when the parents dont agree, it makes disciplining a child even harder. there is an excellent book on the market that may give you some suggestions that both parents can live with. i used it with my children and my daughter uses it with her son and both of us are happy with it. the book is called kids are worth it, by barbara coloroso, shes funny insightful and learned about being a parent by being one, not by going to school. my youngest child is 19 now and a responsible, well-behaved and polite young lady that i am proud to call my daughter.

discipline

jacensgrma — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 01:09:35 -0700

re: discipline

silly-mummy — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 14:02:33 -0700

hello, iv had the same problem with discipline with my partner my son is six and was pushing the limits alot, one thing we did do one night was made a list of what behaviour we thought was acceptable and what wasnt, then when our son crossed the line we used time out the bottom step on the stairs works well for us, one bit of advice i was given a while ago that has helped alot is not to let your child hear or see you debating discipline because they can and will pick up on weak points and use them, we always disscuss options when our son is in bed that way we have a strong pact the next day, hope this helps.

have same prob

apwed — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:20:45 -0700

i have same prob here i end up saying to hubbie can we try my way and if that works we keep that and if not try your way... this works sometimes... the other thing i did was go see counsellor about some probs was having dealing with my 11yr old son and got her advice so i got to just say to hubby well the counsellor said a good way to deal with this prob is this way....... this works bit too but most ways have to remember men are stubborn and think they are right about everything so i just deal kids my way when hubby not home... the other thing will find if hubby is underminding you kids will play up more for you so try the kids are respecting me and listening to me as you are undermining me so they seeing from you that im not important enough to listen to and you need to let me deal with it so they can learn im just as important to listen to and behave for....

tricky one..

breezy27 — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 04:59:11 -0700

thankyou for the tip on the book-i'll go & try and find it!

re disapline

mewannaboy — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 01:56:34 -0700

Hi,i have a similar problem,i have 4 children from my previous marriage. My boyfriend who has no children gets really upset when he disaplines and i think hes being too hard,then my ex has the children for the weekend and the disapline changes again.I am very soft with dealing with my children so my boyfreind is angered that their messy room stays messy because of a party or the children are grounded but i lapse it if there is someone important coming to visit. My ex doesnt want my new boyfriend to disapline at all, saying its a parents job.The reason my husband and i broke up among other stuff was disapline, i feel he is too hard and he feels im too soft.There is ahappy medium.Why not discuss what you would like to do ,what he would like and then meet at the middle.

RE: Discipline

debbie3248 — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 18:29:44 -0700

Hi, I noticed you said you are only disagreeing on some of the ways you discipline the children. You both oviously have ways that you both agree on. Its not always easy to agree with your partner on every thing when it comes to the children and it does depend on the situation at the time. The most important thing to do in a situation when you both cannot agree, is talk about it away from the children.

I have been in a situation where my child has done a crime by our standards and my husband and I have not been able to agree on a suitable punishment, compromises have to be made, and sometimes all you can do is agree to disagree! Children need to learn consequences for their actions. Its a tough one I know, but stick to the main aspect of the issue and don't let it become a battle of wills between you and your partner. Consequences about about teaching the child that their actions are unacceptable and should suit the crime at hand. I hope this help you.

Methods

shoolacy — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 11:51:55 -0700

My advice is don't argue over the method each of you use argue over what needs discipline eg your child knows to be home for dinner at a certain time but is late by half an hour he needs discipline he had you both worried about his welfare so decide who deals with his punishment and prehaps take it in turns your method your partners method or at times who ever is present eg you may be at an appointment child is at home with your partner he was naughty so your partner deals with him but lets you know when your home what has happened

discipline

irateblacksheep — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 09:32:31 -0700

I grew up in a strict house and find I'm applying the same style with Tabitha (3 1/2). I try not to be as strict as my parents because I wasn't happy growing up, but now that I'm a parent, I understand more where my parents were coming from. My husband is very laid back, so he's more lax in the discipline department. We were both disciplined physically, and agree not to be that way. We use time-outs, taking away toys and movies, and when she's really bad, we send her to bed to calm down. Once in a while, she'll get a smack on the bum, but only one, and not very often.

tricky one..

thepinktech — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 05:52:34 -0700

My husband and I come from different universes and tend to clash on that one too. I find it helps to list the wrong doings that you find unacceptable, then rate them from one to ten and decide what punishment fits what crime. Can help if one parent is really strict and the other lax. Also by rating the offence you can get on the same page as to what is the appropriate method for discipline.

In the end we both compromised that neither of our childhood's were perfect, so neither method of discipline was either. I recommend Diane Levy's book "of course I love you, now go to your room". Give's you some proactive methods where the child takes overship for the problem and it teaches them self discipline. We got some great advice from that book!

so if still cannot agree, try something new :)