This must be awful to watch your girl be so unhappy. Have you thought about volunteering in the school canteen or even with classroom reading? I say this so at least you would be able to keep a bit of a eye on her and in turn she would feel more comfortable knowing you are around. How do u know she is not being bullied? It may not be by the kids in her class but out in the yard at lunch time. Her teacher may not even be aware of it! I am sure teachers try to be but in reality, the class numbers are so large that they probably miss alot of the action.

I remember someone else wrote a question very similar to this around xmas time. I will try to find it and get back to you as the advise offered was great.

Why not keep her home for a couple of days if she is not co-operating.  She acts up say fine, and thats that, no further attention is given her what so ever, just get Miss 8 off to school.  If you have to take Miss 8 yourself, tell Miss 5 she needs to get in the car so you can take Miss 8 to school, even if she is still in her p.j's.  Wouldn't hurt to walk Miss 8 to her room having to take Miss cranky pants with you.

Have NO fun that day, no TV, limited attention, simply get on with your day as much as possible.  She needs to see the alternative.  She needs to understand that she either goes to school without a fuss, or this happens and she misses out on EVERYTHING fun for the whole day.

You'll probably be dropping her off at lunch time revving to go.    Just a thought, but good luck.

i found with my second oldest that a fun sticker set up, rewarding her good days are a good way to go and making getting ready fun with music playing etc. i know my kids felt a little daunted about school because they got sick every morning , then i realised they were not sick they had butterflies in their tummies worrying about friends and schoolwork and if they would make friends, kids will often keep the real problem a secret so maybe if there is something really bothering her maybe you can get her to draw a picture of it or write it down and then throw it in the bin together to ged rid of the worry.

good luck with it