Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Jesus christ Im at my wits end!"

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

Shamali — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 04:16:27 -0700

Stop screaming and getting yourself worked up as they are picking up your anxiety and reacting to it. Try the opposite approach, talk to them nicely, tell them that they are making you sad and how happy it makes you when they do _____! Then say can you do ______ for me, it will make mummy very happy and then maybe we can do ______! Take some time out and try again, it works for my chn. If I yell, they yell! If I talk to them positively and focus on the good not the bad I get great responses. My kids are far from perfect and they both have their days but this has a 99% success rate foe me. Best of luck hun. MWAH!

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

madchanny — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:06:16 -0700

omg! rofl! thats sooo funny!
xx
great idea :)
*e-bay, the ultimate weapon*

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

merlin0903 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:37:19 -0700

i agree with what some of the other mums have said start taking away their most loved toys and games anything that they couldn't live without, that always worked for my and my brother

good luck and i hope it works out soon

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

merlin0903 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:35:31 -0700

thats so funny my FIL tells my hubby that he is going to sell him (hubby) on ebay all the time (some days i wish he would)

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

bleshu — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:29:16 -0700

Tell them you'll sell them on ebay.

Im at my wits end!

lillkatheryn — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 11:23:35 -0700

My daughter went thru a phase not to long ago where she would not listen to anything I said. She was getting into everything. Then I realized, she just wanted my attention. I'm preggy and it's hard with being tired and big to give her the kind of activity she needs with my attention. I now take her out everyday, for walks or to the park, and since she listens 90% of time. I've also tried to approch the way I say "don't do that" in different ways. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, they can learn to tune you out. Also, I have tried really hard to let her do as much as she wants, as long as she is not going to break something or hurt herself. It's so easy for us to get into this control mode and to take a step back and really assess the situation, I've been able to make calmer and better reactions. Hang in there, hopefully this is just a phase. Kids are always testing their boundries, it's how they learn.

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

August88 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 07:18:06 -0700

Hi there! Hope you are feeling better now and they are all tucked up and sleeping. This is when you can now go aahhh and refresh for tomorrow. You have already had some great feedback so hope this all helps as I also think that just taking the offending thing away is the best thing and also giving them activities or getting them out in the fresh air for a breather, maybe a walk to the park, weather permitting of course.
Sometimes it is hard to find the positive things but if you notice good behaviour maybe making a deal, eg what a great helper, thanks for playing so nicely etc. I know it sounds so simple but sometimes we only notice what ticks us off and we could have missed the half hour that they have been playing happily. Maybe they just need a suggestion of something else to get on with.
It is hard to answer this question as I don't know what age the kids are even but just sending some support really as I know it can get hard. Shouting just gets everyone upset and makes you feel bad afterwards so just take it off them or get them to help fix what they have done wrong. Lots of love,
Lynette xx

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

emmie — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 07:10:41 -0700

start taking away privelliges and toys tv or stereo if they have 1 they then have to earn it back things that they want and will miss anmd then they will behave to get it back . Hope this helps

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

MummaBear — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 05:12:45 -0700

I also take things away. I avoid arguing, and just say my bit then don't respond anymore. I have cancelled outings, unplugged the tv, cd player, whatever it is and taken it out of the wall. I've packed toys in boxes and put them up out of reach or into a lockable cabinet until they can behave. Sometimes the whinginess is due to boredome, so taking things away or cancelling things is counter-productive. Maybe provide more activities? It's hard to know without knowing what is causing the behaviours in the first place. Mid-tantrum, get on the floor and kick and scream and that soon stops a tantrum and just keep going until they walk away and don't have a discussion, not even "That's what you look like" as this can trigger it again. Hope this is helpful for you.

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

mumof2b — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 05:08:47 -0700

First I give my son warnings (he is 6) but I also explain that if he keeps going then he's going to lose his favourite thing...whether it's the playstation, x-box, or the computer or all of them, depending on how bad he is.........he loses them for a week and as long as he's behaviour has improved and been consistant over the week then he gets it back. But you have to follow through with the punishment and you need to be consistant so that your child knows what to expect. Good luck!!

Amanda

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

georgiepar — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 03:48:17 -0700

i agree with cazza. i take things from mine eg; computer, mobile phone things they cherish good luck

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

cazza — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 03:37:28 -0700

ok at first i wasnt sure how to answer this but here goes...

First i would give them 2 warnings and say that if they cant accept your rules, they will face consequences- such as you have tried the time out chair, and i see that hasnt helped.. Ok next option is take away their favourite activity or toy and tell them that they are losing that privlige for a hour or 2, or even a night if they contuie not listening and wish to contuie fighting ...

Another option is to have a behavior chart and write down several rules that you wish for them to abide by, and at the end of the week if they have done what you have asked and followed your rules, they may choose a special activity...

Now this may take a while and kids may still contuie fighting, but as i have learnt with my 3 yelling and losing my cool, just doesnt stick with them, and it hurts them more if they lose a toy or activity...

Good luck and hope my tips can help in a way..

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

Deborahsc2203 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 03:12:12 -0700

seperate them so they also dont fight ans you can have a little out to ree think your plan ,, the reward chart is always a great start with stickers

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

winja — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 03:03:41 -0700

hun there are alot of christians on this site so th wording of this may be a prob, just a warning im not offended at all. hmmm about th prob we have all been there b4 as parents have u tried a reward chart? positive reenforcement can go a long way. hope this helps good luck.

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

rach — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 03:02:36 -0700

Hi Anon,

YesYesYes, i know exactly how you feel.
I wish i could tell you how to fix it but still havent worked that out myself!!!!!!
Just thank your lucky stars its bedtime soon. (if your kids are like mine bed time is 7:30- 8pm depending on how they are acting)
Will be watching to see if anyone has worked out how to deal with it!!!!

Rach

Re: Jesus christ Im at my wits end!

Brian49 — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 02:50:47 -0700

You can ask Jesus for help that might help, But when my kids are like that i try to find out what the problem is and then if i had time do something with them. They just might want to spend time with their mum or dad or maybe just want a hug and a few words like i love you kids.