Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Do you ever wish"

Re: Do you ever wish

luckyone — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:50:21 -0700

i live need the il for a few years but it was ok . Now we live about a half hr away and just see each other now and again .I find its works out better for me that way , and like keeping in good as you never know what could go wrong and you might need them one ...

Re: Do you ever wish

bittenbythelovebug — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 05:36:46 -0700

Yes and yes, my inlaws are nice people(most of the time) but very time consuming. And my MIL is the devil in disguise. They live half an hour away and it's not quite far enough. They still turn up unannounced. GRRR. If you want to vent join the monster's in law group. We'll lend a sympathetic ear. T xx

Re: Do you ever wish

Tadexpress — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 01:50:05 -0700

Been there done that, moved across the country and have no regrets. Initially there were visits and they were for 3 weeks, week 1 fine week 2 pulling my hair weeks three ready for ....well Im sure you get the point. In the end I said we werent having visitors any more. This has worked well and we live in peace and harmony via telephone conversations.

Re: Do you ever wish

MumKim — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 00:58:09 -0700

Be careful what you wish for. If they live a long way away then you have to actually stay there for a few days when you make the trip! Don't you just love living under their roof? Even if it is only for a week and a half!!!!! Not to mention the cost of flights etc to go somewhere and have a crap time.

Re: Do you ever wish

avanliamsmum — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 18:21:18 -0700

I actually made my husband move us nearly half an hour away a year and a half ago, just because I wanted to create some distance from the inlaws. Then, the opportunity came up to rent their old house (they moved into a new one) and we really couldn't pass it up (two kids and only on one wage!), unfortunately. Now we are closer than ever, about 2 minutes drive! When my daughter was first born, I never saw the end of them, and it frustrated me that we always saw them, every week. At the beginning they were over virtually every night after they finished work! I think we showed my in laws that we weren't too keen seeing them all the time, so now they have backed off a bit. Although, I'm still trying to convince my husband to move us away again, just because I want to start our own lives, away from everyone else, as horrible as that probably sounds!

Re: Do you ever wish

yummymummyof3 — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:53:33 -0700

Unfortunately yes unfortunately I don't have my mil in my life she is divorced from my fil and well I couldn't care if I ever saw him again. But 9 years ago my dh had a falling out with his mum and as nasty as she is I miss not having her in our lives, she is an a class B... but I feel sad for her, my kids and my dh that nothing has been resolved.... she knows we have kids but she has never seen them..... as much as they get on some of our nerves its sad when they are not around to share our lives.

Re: Do you ever wish

llmunchkin — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:38:33 -0700

Well I have great inlaws (outlaws). We live far enough away to appreciate them, I found there was a bit of a power struggle and I was very bitchy when Jay was born & laying down the law when I felt pressured. However, over all, they are brilliant and we have a good balance with a 200km distance. I am sure they would love to see Jaydee every day, but they might rip their hair out and vica versa if they saw us every day.

It is about balance and respect I think, we respect them, and they respect us, so it works out. Grandparents need to learn to respect their children and their children's spouses as adults, and respect their wishes. If that doesn't happen, then things seem to remain tense, as they still try to be bossy, and when that doesn't work, they play little mind games. Don't be a part of it, do what you want, when you want, how you want.

Re: Do you ever wish

Bex17 — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:15:04 -0700

I am very lucky to have my mother in law. She has helped me out so much since my baby Jordan was born. I have to say that in a way she saved my life. After Jordan was born I went through a mild case of depression and was absolutley ready to leave my husband and the baby. I just didnt know how to cope with the constant crying (he had colic). My MIL decided she would stay with us for a week or two and suddenly the world wasnt such a bad place in my head. She tough me the basics of looking after him and told me that most mums feel overwhelmed in the first weeks. Wish I could share her with ya!!!

Re: Do you ever wish

jimannakateen — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 15:33:12 -0700

Tell me about it i wish my MIL will just go and move to another country!!! I cant stand the floor she walks on but just have to be nice for the sake of hubby but he knows how i feel. We dont see them often but she still manages to rub me up the wrong way just with her phone calls sometimes. You are not alone. Do visit the group(monster in laws) and tell us how you really feel.

Hugzs Tee

Re: Do you ever wish

MummaBear — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:53:06 -0700

I don't have inlaws. Never have. Mostly I don't really think about it, but there are times when I'm just so sick I can barely move and there's no help with the little one which then gets me thinking that in-laws (or even parents) would be handy to have around at times like that. Last time I was sick she had to be self-reliant and get her own food for the entire day and I felt so bad for her but couldn't stand up without then hitting the floor again. I can't really relate to what it's like to have them around, but I can tell you how alone you feel when you don't have them around in times of need.

Re: Do you ever wish

mrs-connell — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:50:17 -0700

Hi I know the feeling but there is a group for people that have troble with their in laws, it is a privet group but ask the admi if you can join it is called Monsters in law you can go there and vent it really is great & an excellent laugh. So try & find this group it really is great.

Re: Do you ever wish

vlooi — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:54:57 -0700

It is a real shame that some parents in law can be so difficult! i have a similar problem but for different reasons and I can definitely say that I am thankful that my family are all 12 000km away, because I know they would be a problem. Not just to hubby but to me as well. This does have its down side because I had no help with the children, but hey, I managed!