Minti - Recent Comments on Question "birth classes?"

Re: birth classes?

winja — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 03:42:19 -0700

thanks for the comments. i dont have a partner so i do want my mum to be there BUT and this is me being selfish hehe i want to do it my way! id just rather she sat and read a book till it was time to push, im not into th whole cheerleading aspect of birth partners and as im not overly diplomatic in pain i said to th midwife last time PLEASE STOP THATS VERY ANNOYING"puff pant! haha ive still got a fair way to go im about to go into my 19th week atm so plenty of time. i just want mum to understand it is a high risk pregnancy and id rather not have expectations on how the birth will be... she seems to think if we have in mind what we want then all will be ok with th world, and i love her and i dont want to hurt her, but if im not even allowed to decide how my antinatal visits will go then shouldnt i just let th docs do their job?

Re: birth classes?

cheleinkal — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 17:43:01 -0700

It's your baby, your birthing, your job, your call. She's been there and done that and if she wants to go through it all again, go to Russia where they let you be in your 70's LOL.

Seriously though, I WANTED my Mum there on the day, but did a one day anti-natal course (because thats what it was...close to Christmas) with hubby, but Mum and I are very close and I wouldn't have minded if she had wanted to have come to.

You must be getting close to your full term, not a time to get stressed etc. just tell her how you feel. Though I found the course well worth doing, especially since I hadn't seen teh matternity part of the hospital before. I would advise that if you have had a while between birhs, and if the hospital is different or has been rennovated since you were there, it might be a good thing to do, especially try and get a full one day course instead of shorter week after week ones, I was lucky in that respect. If you want to take your Mum and Partner go for it, if you don't tell her so....whats the worse thats going to happen, she'll go quiet on you for a while????

She'll get over it. Just nicely explain that the way you and hubby want to do it is this____________. And you would preffer if she is looking after Miss 5 or what ever.

Might not be the easiest conversation ever, so think it out carefully and be as tactful as you can be, but it's a highly emotipnal time and it's yours and hubby's emotional time, anyone else who gets to share it is being offered a gift, it's not something you demand.

kisses

Re: birth classes?

toosh — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 17:24:26 -0700

Honestly I found birthing classes a waste of time for my first - so it definetly would be for your 3rd! What you do is up to you, not your mum! Explain to her exactly how you feel and what you want to do and tell her that is what will be happening, you don't want to exclude her but you want things your way as this is your pregnancy and birth! Be as nice as you can but be firm too.

Re: birth classes?

Mandy460 — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 10:51:05 -0700

Say No. I think it is quite selfish to insist on being there if it isnt what you want. I totally know what you mean, i dont like being talked to either when giving birth. I have given birth twice and i really think people need to respect your choice and what is best for you. Bringing a baby into this world is wonderful but we also know its not easy! I think labour is the one time us women deserve to lay some boundries, put ourselves first and do what is best for us. Good Luck xx

Re: birth classes?

jimannakateen — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:38:12 -0700

hey sweety! well all i can say its your choice. If you dont want your mum there then dont! I feel its something very personal and i really dont think i could have someone there at the birth of my child, if i didnt feel comfortable. You can compromise and go to those classes with your mum to make her fell special. If you really sat down with her and explained how you felt she would understand, i think!!! Congrats anyway! and good luck with which ever choice you make

Hugz Tee

Re: birth classes?

princesskc88 — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:19:58 -0700

hey sweety well i think u sholdnt let ya mum come if dats wat u want nd think best etc, oxox

Re: birth classes?

llmunchkin — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:53:27 -0700

You sneaky thing, I had no idea you were pregnant... Well it is your pregnancy and you are in charge of it. Unless you want to do some major bonding with your mum, it is pretty boring to tell the truth and I doubt you'll learn a lot. Then again, the one thing you do learn could be really useful. You also get to hear a lot of people ask some really 'out there' questions - since you have a great sense of humour, you might enjoy this side of things.

Re: birth classes?

winja — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:47:27 -0700

well thats the thing... im in a high risk pregnancy aswell so i dont see the point settin up a birth plan, the docs will do whats best. im not allowed to see a gp or midwife during my pregnancy i hacve to go to the hospital for every visit so im tryin to just go with th flow, the only thing i asked for was that they burst my waters when th contractions start(because they needed to last time as i stayed 4 and a half centimetres dialated for 2 and a half weeks) and that c section shoudl be the very last resort as i give birth pretty quick.

Re: birth classes?

lightbee — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:45:22 -0700

Do you want your mum at the birth? If not, don't let her push things on you. Let's face it, you're the one doing all the work so you need to feel right and comfortable with what's going on. You need to be sure you feel comfortable as much as possible with what's going to happen at the birth.

If you do want her there, maybe you can make some sort of compromise. Even if the birthing classes aren't for you, maybe she wants to bone up on how it goes. But you want to make sure that any ideas she gets are okay with you or that you can talk her out of them.

Re: birth classes?

sluxton — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:41:22 -0700

This decision should be entirely your own and your mother should respect your decision. Birthing is a very personal thing and you should be very comfortable with who is going to be with you. Stand your ground girl! It's your labour and apart from medical recommendations from those qualified at the hospital, you make the calls!

Re: birth classes?

tassiebiarch — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:35:47 -0700

hey mate

its up to you on what you want to do i reckon its only really necessary for 1st time mummys but you having been thru it i don't see why you have to go.

my husband and i went for half an hour with our first only cause we felt uncomfortable i was 19 and the rest of them were in there 30's.

i feel it all comes naturally.

But maybe its your mothers way in wanting to make you feel like you have support dunno.but it comes down to what you want not her

luvs xxxx