Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Pre-teen monsters"

Re: Pre-teen monsters

cazza — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:08:53 -0700

I love that one, have to try that on my kids lol...

take care
love cazza

Re: Pre-teen monsters

LisaPetrarca — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:02:04 -0700

Hi,

I know how FRUSTRATING the fighting can be. My two older boys were terrible!!! I stopped trying to referee and punished both of them no matter whose fault it was. They would be assigned chores to do immediately, I told them, "You are obviously so bored that you have to pick on each other so get to work!" Then they would be grounded for a week. This was the only thing that finally worked for me. When they realized that I didn't care who started it, they both were going to be in trouble, they would tell each other, (whoever was starting a fight), "Knock it off, we're going to have to do work." It was actually funny after a while watching them try to be nice to each other to avoid punishment. The end result was the fighting stopped!!!

Hope this helps!

Lisa

Re: Pre-teen monsters

blackwidowkate — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 23:56:19 -0700

Hi
Try what i did.
Got one to lock the back door then called them both out the front and locked the door behind them and told them to go fight it out in the back yard.
When they come inside ask them why didn't they fight outside.
Their answer will be because its embarrasing and you are our mum
Then tell them you want the same respect the neighbours get.
I have only had to do this twice so far and it is amazing the difference in behaviours
They don't like being locked outside. So i tell them fights are for outside not in here.
Mine are 15 and 14 and i have a 2 year old as well.
They have fought sice the 14 yr old was born lol
I have had enough as well.
Luv Deb

Re: Pre-teen monsters

FremantleDocker — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:46:50 -0700

my eldest kids consist of 3 boys, which are 16, 15, nearly 13 and a girl who's 11 ( and a girl who's also 4 but she's no trouble as yet ) if they do all the things you have mentioned. I make them sit in the kitchen, and make them write out why they were calling their brother or sister these nasty names and have to write 2 pages on it, and i would have to read it, and they have to stay in the kitchen while ive read them all, and if i don't get a good enough reason why they did what they did, they get something taken off them that they really love or they not allowed to go out with their girlfriends or friends for a whole month, and this hurts them big time, so now they don't really bicker that much as they've done this too many times and have learnt by their mistakes etc.

Re: Pre-teen monsters

skylarsmom — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:02:58 -0700

I was the baby in the family and the only girl. My brothers were mean to me. We used to get into physical fights and verbal fights. Most of the time it happened when my dad was at work. They used to tell me all kinds of things like I was found in a garbage can, I was a mistake, etc..... I used to lock myself in my room by myself to get away from them. By the time we were 13 or so we got along alot better. My second oldest brother and I were inseperable for many years. I guess I'm trying to say is we learned to go our separate ways when we were fighting and just grew out of it I guess. I hope this helps.

Bev

Re: Pre-teen monsters

Ngairi — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:57:43 -0700

I have 16 and 15 yr old boys, and most of the time they are the best of friends. BUT! if one or the other are in the mood, then look out. I just go elsewhere. The 6yr old does see this and sometimes is as bad as the others, but only rarely. If the big boys are fighting or arguing, then I spend extra time with the younger one. As I said most of the time...
Leisa

Re: Pre-teen monsters

Practical-Princess — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:49:52 -0700

Sibling rivalry - what a joy! You can try rewards, punishments, etc, and they will still do it. It's part of life. They are also at the age where the hormones are going to be kicking in, turning your little darlings into right monsters. I've had books recommended to me by Michael Carr Gregg, a psychologist who has done a lot of work with kids. He has a website - www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au , take a look.

Re: Pre-teen monsters

Deborahsc2203 — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:22:57 -0700

good advice cazza................

when you all sit down for a meal ,, make the rules that if you cant say anything nice to eachother then they will have to keep their mouths zipped .

you could still do a chart for good behavour as in if someone says anything nasty to the other they get an x next to their name ,, and if the one thats been spoken to harshly by the other walks away without saying anything nasty back they get a tick next to their name and have it for a reward to build up to to get something they have been wanting etc,,, have a chat about this system to them both before hand if you choose to do something like this ,,,and what rewards for possitive behavour they can get rewards for etc,,

Re: Pre-teen monsters

cazza — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 11:13:54 -0700

Thats no good at all,... But sisters and brothers do bicker... But what i would do is say to them that they need to show each other with more respect..... they need to be told that name calling isnt nice, and when they call each other names, that it is hurtful, and disprectful.... Sit them down and have a friendly chat and ask them in a civil manner how does each one feel when one calls them names.. i always say to my 3, that you need to treat each other the same way you want to be treated,....

Try to take away a favourite toy or actiivity works at times, and losing priviliges is a another way.....

They need to know that name calling isnt acceptable, and be told that their behaviour is looked upon by their younger sibling, and that their influence isnt looking prettty,,,,

Good luck, and hope that you will get more responses and be able to nip this in the bud..

take care
love cazza