Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Love"

Re: Love

TinaLynnLove — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:30:57 -0700

Ok. I totally mis read the question. I thought it was fall in love. You can delete the last comment. For this I would have to agree that it is normal to fall out of love with your partner. I don't have any of the feelings I used to have with my partner. But I do care for him a lot and still love him but the in love part with romance and fantasies don't exist for me anymore. I guess that's just the way it's supposed to be I guess.

Re: Love

TinaLynnLove — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 06:28:23 -0700

Well I think it would have to depend on you. How do you feel? Do you feel different around him. You know I always know when something is different inside me cause my mood starts to change. I'm always smiling and I feel like I have to look my best when I'm around him. I used to get nervous but now after 3 years that went away. But you just have to evaluate the way he makes you feel when you are around him. If you don't feel any different then it may not be to deep.

Re: Love

jenlemen — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:37:35 -0700

i think it is totally and completely normal to fall in and out of love with your partner over the years. i wouldn't take it as anything more than a sign you are in some kind of transition as a couple. these are usually times to really hold on to hope and look for opportunities to spend time together in a non-stressful, peaceful setting.

Re: Love

encorepi — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 02:02:14 -0700

I haven't always felt "in love" with my husband, several times I wonder if it is meant to be this way. But committment is not only about love and it is not only about he and I, we have children and love involves all of us as a family. I really like Marriage Gym, it can be done online (see marriagegym.com.au) it talks about being in a rut etc etc. I just think that feeling in love your whole life is a fallocy created by books and movies, and we live in the real world.

Jodi

Re: Love

llmunchkin — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:13:12 -0700

I agree with all of this too - except the first one - if it's there take it, when you finally get rid of your man, you might have to go without for a while.

Re: Love

llmunchkin — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:11:27 -0700

I have to agree with Jess on this one - though I am too lazy to write it, so I will tag on the bottom.

Also, when I am not interested, I make sure we are like ships in the night, when he gets home, I'm outta here.

That thing when they talk and all you hear is blah blah blah is so true too, and like who asks them to talk to you anyway?

Re: Love

cheekymonkey — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:57:43 -0700

Look we're all different. For me there were a few little things

I couldn't stand him touching me or try to be affectionate
The things that you thought were quirky or cute in the beginning, you simply cannot stand or tolerate any longer
I would go into what I call "Homer Mode" where everytime he spoke I went into another place and all I heard was "wha wha wha wha, me me me me wha wha wha wha"
I didn't want to go anywhere with him or have any of his mates in the house

I think in all relationships you have stages whereby you are madly in love then stages where you are not so. It's like food, you might love it today, but next year you won't be able to stand it!!

Re: Love

Jessgore — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 19:49:41 -0700

I think it would be if there were the little things that you did not care about any more...
1. You would not care if he did not invite you out with his friends, or important dinner dates or work functions when clearly all spouses go...

2. You stop worrying about the time he would come home.

3. You are not as excited as you used to be when you knew it was time for him to arrive home for work.

4. You would not worry if he had not said I love you in a long time

5. All those little bad habits that never bothered you in the past are really starting to get on your nerves.

6. You write up a list of pro's and con's about your relationship and your Con's out weigh your Pro's.

7. When living with your husband starts feeling like you are living with a house mate...

There are just a few thoughts on possible little signs...

But I'd say the biggest issue would be that you started to hate the things he does...
You could fall out of love with him and start hating him because of the way you feel.. But you could also just feel like good friends...(if you know what I mean.. )

Re: Love

Deborahsc2203 — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:01:47 -0700

know one knows why you are feeling this way ,, write down al the thinks that attracted yourself to him in the first place and all the good points and then all the things you wish or can change in the relationship way up all the pros and cons ,, you very well could just be going though a stage in your relationship thats all just too comfterable and are just wanting to know if its still love or not ,, also ask yourself how would you feel if you never had any contact with your partner again ,, how would you feel about it all etc,, all relationships go thought a pause stage in their way .. its up to both of you to try to get that spark back ,, the spark that you where both attracted to eachother in the first pace and see if you can work on it ,,

if you both have tried everything to make it work and then it dosent then maybe its time to take a little time out .. never jump to end a relationship unless its a selfish or physically or abusive one ...

Re: Love

DarkenedAngel — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:38:01 -0700

I like to look at it this way...

Imagine he suddenly died. How upset would you be?

If you'd be devistated, you love him dearly. If you wouldn't care, you've got a problem. If you'd be grateful, get out of there now. And of course there's many levels of emotion in between. Be careful not to go thinking about these things right after an arguement or the like howevver, as you could be angry enough to feel grateful at that moment, when you'd actually be devistated if the reality of it hit you.

I say imagine if he died, because if he left you any other way, your feelings towards him might be a bit twisted by your own feelings of rejection. Just lay in bed one night and envision getting that fateful phone call, explaining it to your kids, going to the funeral, and sleeping in bed alone from that point on. Then see how you feel.

Re: Love

quinjai3 — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:37:04 -0700

wow thats a hard question

i guess you would have to know what are your signs for being in love. and once those signs are no longer present or diluted somewhat i guess you could take that as the cue for being out of love.

this appears to be a very complex situation, you need to also be asking yourself why are you asking this perticular question and what are you currently feeling and what does it mean to you. as the signs of being in love are very different for every individual so to are the signs for being out of love.

Re: Love

yummymummyof3 — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:54:41 -0700

Well I guess that would depend on yourself, I can't imagine there is common signs apart from the obvious..... I guess if it was me, I would not want to be intimate with him, spending time with him would feel more like a chore.... Feelings of having no connection with him, its funny cause I really don't know what answer to give you, without really knowing how you are feeling ....... listen to your heart... x