Minti - Recent Comments on Question "how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me" http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me/ Minti - Recent Comments on Question "how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me" Copyright 2008 Minti en-uk Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me Jessgore There was so many people that said it would be great to do this, great to do that we can hang out do baby stuff blah blah blah.. Still waiting..... Thing is for the first few months I found that everyone, myself included all gets wrapped up in their own life, and well you never know she might not be up ...
Thing is for the first few months I found that everyone, myself included all gets wrapped up in their own life, and well you never know she might not be up to all the little outings all the time.. Maybe just for some of it...

There should be no fear for you in saying no to your friend on occasions.. A real friend will understand that... Maybe it is just the excitement of having babies at the same time.... 

I know even when I did not have kids, there were days that I just was not up to little outings with Friends and wanted to hide from the world, snuggle in bed... (OH I WISH THOSE DAYS OF SNUGGLE IN BED WOULD COME BACK)...  :)

I'd wait and see what happens.  You might just find that she herself will be to busy to leave the house every day... :)

Good luck]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514462 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514462 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 19:39:34 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me FremantleDocker Hi there, I don't want to undermime you, but you're in pain more than 2 weeks after having a c section. I had a few of them with my children, and you're hurting more than that. Id say about 4 weeks, and you feel like crap for about 6 to 8 weeks. Don't want you to feel bad or nothing ... http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514375 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514375 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:39:40 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me winja hey thanks everyone for your support and understanding. i sort of felt a bit silly and thought maybe its the hormones that are making me worry a bit hehe. i really do think this girl is fab but when i had chloe i lived a fair bit out of the way from everyone and got the time i needed to ... my new friend lives in the same street as me so she pops over a bit and im just not used to having visitors everyday. the sign i made is cute and has a lil emote with his finger to his mouth then at the bottom a screaming baby emote lol. thanks again everyone and i hope you are right shes just excited, its really sweet and i do feel lucky to have such a nice friend but with just me to handle stuff im tired already!]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514355 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514355 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:59:07 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me simba1 Humm....sometimes it is really hard to get through to someone who is a friend with the best of intentions from their perspective... I think your sign for the door is great, perhaps an addition of please call first to the sign with a cute pic?  You and your friend have a much different life style, and I would suspect once ... Humm....sometimes it is really hard to get through to someone who is a friend with the best of intentions from their perspective... I think your sign for the door is great, perhaps an addition of please call first to the sign with a cute pic?  You and your friend have a much different life style, and I would suspect once the babies arrive, her excitement will deminish a bit, and it is OK to let her know what you are going to need. No long explainations, rather ya, we can get together, just let me get my feet under me first....we can talk on the phone until then...I'm hoping for your sake she will get it, and not be offended.  If she is offended, that is her issue, as you are not being unkind, rather self-caring as you can only get and give yourself what you might need. 

Also, I was in same boat as you, only no 5 yearold child, and was totally exhausted by nursing. If you are able, can you get a pump to express?  I found when I did this, it was so much easier as I could just feed ds and also be out and about with out having to look for a place to nurse. It was so hard to stop myself from doing everything while he slept, but eventually through sheer exhaustion, I did learn to take a nap in the afternoon when he went down which helped me alot.  

Being some what unraveled at the time, I also  shut off the ringer to my phone and let my answer machine take calls so I could rest without being disturbed. 

Best of luck to you....Take care, Simba1 

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514341 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514341 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:34:10 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me Deborahsc2203 once she has her baby and the pain meds wear off even know she will have help im sure she still wont be up to it anyway .. im thinking shes just over excited at the fact that both your babys will be close together in age ,,,some people have no idea and think they will be very well rested ... http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514328 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514328 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:54:36 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me winniesanders I am confused as to how a c-section will help her handle her second child around the other. All those stiches and bruising. I think the poor soul has one big shock coming. I also dont think you will have to worry too much, once that anisthetic wares off, the poor dear probably wont feel much like socialising for a ... http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514150 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514150 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 07:13:01 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me Kristen Nobody knows how it is going to be until the baby comes anyway.  You may not even need to worry about this as soon as the baby is born (hers or yours or both) because she may be so overwhelmed that she won't even think to call you.  I would just give her vague answers and then worry about it ... http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514109 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514109 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 06:21:20 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me cheekymonkey Hey  she's excited.....but we all had preconcieved notions of what having a baby was about, and honestly how wrong were we all in our naivety. And I'm sure the second kid will be different to the first too. Just say, "hey, look I know you're excited and all...but. To be honest I'm really gunna need a few weeks alone when bub ... Hey  she's excited.....but we all had preconcieved notions of what having a baby was about, and honestly how wrong were we all in our naivety. And I'm sure the second kid will be different to the first too.

Just say, "hey, look I know you're excited and all...but. To be honest I'm really gunna need a few weeks alone when bub comes along. It's nothing personal, I'm just going to need time to adjust to lifes little changes. Our lives are very different and how we cope with these changes will be very different too. I respect your decision to have a c'sect and bottle feed, but I also need you to respect my birthing and feeding decisions too. You may find that you want some time to yourself as well, and I will respect that too."

 

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514095 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514095 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 05:48:52 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me yummymummyof3 Firstly take it from someone who has had 3 c-sections, she won't be doing much for 6 weeks either, don't say anything to her and burst her bubble you don't know how she will take it and having the hormones of pregnancy she may not take it very well, good friend or not,  just take it as it comes, do whats best for ... Firstly take it from someone who has had 3 c-sections, she won't be doing much for 6 weeks either, don't say anything to her and burst her bubble you don't know how she will take it and having the hormones of pregnancy she may not take it very well, good friend or not,  just take it as it comes, do whats best for you, have the sign on your door, I did the same and I never had anyone disrespect my wish, but then again most people rang before turning up.....  but really just wait until you have both had the babies and take it day by day, you don't need to give her a big song and dance, when she says she wants to come over just tell her straight, Im exhausted and really need my sleep today maybe another day.....  And hey if her hubby is going to be helping her that much she might be able to help you out.   But believe me I didn't breastfeed my third child and I was not out and about for more then 6 weeks.... x

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514064 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514064 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 05:15:27 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me cazza Its nice that she wants to share this happy occassion together, But she needs to understand that you, bub and chloe need to connect as well... So maybe telling her that, and make that she understands and tell her its not personal. as you both have the rest of your childrens lives to hang out, and be there for each other... So ...
So maybe telling her that, and make that she understands and tell her its not personal. as you both have the rest of your childrens lives to hang out, and be there for each other...

So hope she understands, as its nice to have a close friend to share those presious moments with..

take care
love cazza]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514045 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514045 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:13:45 -0700 Re: how to get her to understand without making her feel sorry for me Practical-Princess Anyway, I'm rambling on a bit. The sign for your door is a great idea. If your friend ignores the sign either tell her it's there for a reason or ignore her knocks on the door. Maybe sit her down & explain how you feel - explain how different it is for you & why. If she's a reasonable person, ... Anyway, I'm rambling on a bit. The sign for your door is a great idea. If your friend ignores the sign either tell her it's there for a reason or ignore her knocks on the door. Maybe sit her down & explain how you feel - explain how different it is for you & why. If she's a reasonable person, & a real friend, she will understand.

I can't see why having a c section would make things easier for her - it would be the opposite as you are in pain for a week or 2 afterwards so it's harder to do things. Too many women these days ask for c sections & the medical authorities have been warning against it! There are too many risks for both mother & child.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514042 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/514030/how-to-get-her-to-understand-without-making-her-feel-sorry-for-me//#514042 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:10:29 -0700