Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Teenager is scared of the dark now her father has died" http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died/ Minti - Recent Comments on Question "Teenager is scared of the dark now her father has died" Copyright 2008 Minti en-uk Re: Teenager is scared of the dark now her father has died loopylisa I am so sorry for your loss.Death at any age for a child and indeed adults can be very difficult to deal with. It seems that the last mental picture of her dad is him lying in his coffin,which can be a massive trauma for someone to deal with. It does seem a little odd to me that you let ... I am so sorry for your loss.Death at any age for a child and indeed adults can be very difficult to deal with. It seems that the last mental picture of her dad is him lying in his coffin,which can be a massive trauma for someone to deal with. It does seem a little odd to me that you let your chldren choose an open coffin to say their goodbyes.Was there a reason for this and perhaps this is connected to your daughters difficullty in accepting his passing. You need to find a way to help your daughter to focus on what he was like before she saw him in his coffin.I saw my dad in his coffin and I'm glad that I went but I do think it is too traumatic for some people to do this. Pehaps you should try and get bereavement counselling for her. Also my grandad died when I was 15. I as the apple of his eye and I loved him dearly. After he died he came to visit me to tell me some news about my nan(which consequently came true). It wasn't a frightening experience at all and it was quite comforting to me that he came to see me.It was peaceful and nothing to be afraid of.

There is also the fact that your husband passed away unexpectedly and this could also be affecting her massively.I wish you much luck and best wishes to you and your family,Lisa xx

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#712714 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#712714 Sat, 17 May 2008 09:20:11 -0700 Re: Teenager is scared of the dark now her father has died Arna I'm so sorry to hear this.  Big hugs to you and your family. It sounds to me like she hasn't really dealt with the loss of her father, though his death being only a few weeks ago it is still to be expected. Maybe you could hold a memorial service etc to help her move on.  Closure is important and being 15, ... I'm so sorry to hear this.  Big hugs to you and your family.

It sounds to me like she hasn't really dealt with the loss of her father, though his death being only a few weeks ago it is still to be expected.

Maybe you could hold a memorial service etc to help her move on.  Closure is important and being 15, it must feel as though her whole world has been torn apart.

Family counselling might also be of benefit as well as personal counselling.  You need to keep talking and reasoning through what you have lost and where you go from here as well as the fears etc you have.

How are you doing though?  Your way of dealing with this will affect how your children deal with it.  Don't hold it all in and be brave just so as to not upset your children, let it out and cry as a family, you need to and deserve to.

Thinking of you.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#711518 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#711518 Thu, 15 May 2008 23:35:12 -0700 Re: Teenager is scared of the dark now her father has died Practical-Princess First, my deepest condolences to you & your family. Your children must be devastated. Now, as for your daughter, ask her if she was afraid of her father before he died? Of course, she'd say no. So then ask her why she is afraid of him now? Assure her that, if he was to visit, there is no way it would be to harm her. ... First, my deepest condolences to you & your family. Your children must be devastated.

Now, as for your daughter, ask her if she was afraid of her father before he died? Of course, she'd say no. So then ask her why she is afraid of him now? Assure her that, if he was to visit, there is no way it would be to harm her. He is there to watch over her & protect her so there is nothing to be afraid of.

I've told all my children that my mother watches over them & I really believe that she does. I say she is their guardian angel. Some people believe in guardian angels, others don't, but I think it's a nice way for children to think of someone who has passed on. Your daughter might feel better thinking of her dad in this way - that he is now her guardian angel.

Also tell your daughter that, if her father was going to appear before her, he would not do so until she was ready. Therefore, while she is afraid of this happening, it will not. For those who believe, for those who can see, a spirit will not show themselves if they know their loved one is not ready to see them.

All the best to you & your children. xx

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#710763 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/710748/teenager-is-scared-of-the-dark-now-her-father-has-died//#710763 Wed, 14 May 2008 23:34:26 -0700