Minti - Recent Comments on Question "should i say something?" http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something/ Minti - Recent Comments on Question "should i say something?" Copyright 2009 Minti en-uk Re: should i say something? winja so you know the chick who lives up the street from me? lol ditch her hun shes not worth your time. so you know the chick who lives up the street from me? lol

ditch her hun shes not worth your time.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#974141 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#974141 Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:17:10 -0700 Re: should i say something? abby26 If you know that she is lying- discontinue her friendship. You don't need to have negative friends in your life! Its too draining to deal with people like this as they cant be trusted! If you know that she is lying- discontinue her friendship. You don't need to have negative friends in your life! Its too draining to deal with people like this as they cant be trusted!

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973913 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973913 Sun, 08 Mar 2009 07:27:19 -0700 Re: should i say something? erinlarsen hi! been there done that! i totally agree with the others on this! run for the hills! you know something isnt right so dont put up with it! she will slowly start to pick up pace the more you tolerate her lies! sounds like she is trying to hold you close by getting the sympathy vote dont be angry with her ... hi!

been there done that! i totally agree with the others on this! run for the hills! you know something isnt right so dont put up with it! she will slowly start to pick up pace the more you tolerate her lies! sounds like she is trying to hold you close by getting the sympathy vote dont be angry with her as this could trigger more serious behaviour just start to back off bit by bit, o.k if you love her to bits and you dont want to lose her then start putting her in her place even the little lies come down on her for it get her help! but i would bbe running! there are so many of us out there that want a good friend who would be blessed to have you!

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973700 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973700 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:24:45 -0800 Re: should i say something? Kiwioz Hi and all this information everyones giving you is just great. Thought I would add my own experience to sos you know your not alone as others have mentioned also.  I have/had a friend who has a similar problem and a bit like a hypochondriac who continually goes to the doctor people who lie basicallly have to have the attention on themselves ... Hi and all this information everyones giving you is just great. Thought I would add my own experience to sos you know your not alone as others have mentioned also.

 I have/had a friend who has a similar problem and a bit like a hypochondriac who continually goes to the doctor people who lie basicallly have to have the attention on themselves in order to 'feel important' and if its not one thing, its another and so on and so on.  I found by distancing myself from her she just found someone else to lie to.  These types of people will not usually be put off by others ignoring them as they just find someone else to get the pity/attention they need in order for them to continue lying.  And yes as someone mentioned she could be narcissistic and or a compulsive liar. Usually these are combined with depression or a persoanality disorder.

It is unfortunate but one day when she does cry wolf and no-one listens she will maybe understand why she has actually no true friends.  Its a shame really because there is no real way to find out if she is telling the truth but mark my words when one day she really is sick, no-one will come calling unless she has made by that time another so-called friend who will in due time leave her to.  She will have to hit rock bottom before she admits to having a problem in order to get help as it is treatable.  Compulsive lying is hard to deal with, not for her but for those around her, and unfortunatly alienating the people around herself is the downside to which she obviously does not care or understand about.  You may even find out later that she actually believes her own lies, only by her hitting rock bottom and getting treatment will she find out the way to recovery and why she does what she does.

Its up to you if you want to remain friends with her or back away. 

Myself I would say to my friend, I cant be bothered with anything negative and dont want to hear about your illnesses, life is short, talk positive and happy thoughts or buggar off, Im not feeling well enough to cope today.  It worked and she didnt come calling as often.  I dont see her much anymore lol.  Im not a confronational person but honestly cant deal with negative people who  drag me down.

Think of yourself and your own 'happinesss', if you can take her type of personality/lies etc then ok, if not, back away, lifes to short for negativity and think of yourself and your child.

Best of Luck darls and BE HAPPY

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973681 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973681 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:46:06 -0800 Re: should i say something? tdg1973 She sounds very narcisistic and maybe even a sociopath.  She will use you and toss you aside as often as she can.  If you are very attatched to her and want to help; call the Crisis Assesment Team (CAT) they are attatched to each council I think. Otherwise, just walk away and have nothing further to do with her She sounds very narcisistic and maybe even a sociopath.  She will use you and toss you aside as often as she can.  If you are very attatched to her and want to help; call the Crisis Assesment Team (CAT) they are attatched to each council I think. Otherwise, just walk away and have nothing further to do with her

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973674 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973674 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:07:50 -0800 Re: should i say something? renaer hi, i really think your friend has some serious problems, but i don't think you will be able to help her. she sounds a lot like my mother who has just been diagnosed with split personality and depression, only after driving me crazy for the last 16 years and having to move states to put an end to it!  you ... hi, i really think your friend has some serious problems, but i don't think you will be able to help her. she sounds a lot like my mother who has just been diagnosed with split personality and depression, only after driving me crazy for the last 16 years and having to move states to put an end to it!  you really need to walk away from her and you shouldn't feel bad doing so, she really needs to find some professional help. does she have family, are they aware of her lies?

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973655 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973655 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:04:57 -0800 Re: should i say something? blue-raven She clearly has some psychological issues and deep underlying problems, probably steming from her childhood. I had a friend who is exactly like this. I still see her around but I try not to get into a conversation with her because I know its nothing but lies. My ex friend has told alot of the lies your friend has. "I miscarried a ... She clearly has some psychological issues and deep underlying problems, probably steming from her childhood. I had a friend who is exactly like this. I still see her around but I try not to get into a conversation with her because I know its nothing but lies. My ex friend has told alot of the lies your friend has. "I miscarried a twin but the other survived" , "my kid suffers from this allergy or from autism" but shes never specific and she never knows how to treat it correctly. I couldn't take it anymore and I stop talking to her. It does wear a bit thin after awhile and seems that you've had enough. You could confront her and tell her in kind way that your tired of the lies and you want her to get professional help. ( Often they want to get caught out. They want help but don't know how to say they do.) The worst that will happen is that she'll get mad and stop talking to you. I never had the courage to confront my friend. Maybe she would've changed if I had. Otherwise you could just gradually distance yourself from her. I hope my experience helps you.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973645 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973645 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:46:38 -0800 Re: should i say something? livsmum I knew someone like this, but was like you and just accepted i because 'at least I was aware of it'.   We used to probe her in situations like this until she got uncomfortable and would eventually calm down for a while, then the lies wuld start again.  I guess it depends how smart a liar she is, ask her ... I knew someone like this, but was like you and just accepted i because 'at least I was aware of it'.   We used to probe her in situations like this until she got uncomfortable and would eventually calm down for a while, then the lies wuld start again.  I guess it depends how smart a liar she is, ask her a million questions about the disease & how it will effect her family etc.  Then tell her you are coming to the docs with her to learn how to help you through - no buts or that you think you should go with her for support at losing her babies.  She'll stop lying for a bit.  People like this though, can sometimes turn back on you so just be careful.  It depends how bad she really is I guess.  People like that are better left on the other side of the fence.  Hope that helped!

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973601 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973601 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:22:01 -0800 Re: should i say something? soozeq HI Darlin' I think she's pulling your chain, Breast cancer! what a terrible thing to lie about. I'm sure you're sympathies could be well used elsewhere and if it turns out she does have the big 'C' ie: when you see documented proof, then say you're sorry & don't  have anything more to do with her. Try this: ask her if you can have a look at ... HI Darlin'

I think she's pulling your chain, Breast cancer! what a terrible thing to lie about. I'm sure you're sympathies could be well used elsewhere and if it turns out she does have the big 'C' ie: when you see documented proof, then say you're sorry & don't  have anything more to do with her.

Try this: ask her if you can have a look at the confirmation letter from the Specialist, say you have never seen one before (that's just a little fib) & see what she says, if she gives you an excuse then you have your answer!!

There are heaps of really good friends out there for you, please take this advice from someone who knows.I'm 60 & have seen a few come & go. Like my best friend in the world, who I was closer to than my sisters. She was having it off with several men but would never have it off with my hubby because we were friends, yep, you guessed it!! She did it 'coz he had such a great body!! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!! That was many years ago & he's now onto wife No.3!!!

All the very best

Suezq

A

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973472 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973472 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 04:30:58 -0800 Re: should i say something? littlelaydee Sounds like she doesn't want to see you for whatever reason... but if these lies are to get out of a social engagement then I think she has a bit of a problem! If she has breast cancer you would soon see the symptoms of chemo or surgery, I would think? Then you would know whether she's lying or not. ... Sounds like she doesn't want to see you for whatever reason... but if these lies are to get out of a social engagement then I think she has a bit of a problem! If she has breast cancer you would soon see the symptoms of chemo or surgery, I would think? Then you would know whether she's lying or not. And if she is, I would tell her to get help and distance myself.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973457 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973457 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:51:49 -0800 Re: should i say something? josierm wow, this sounds like a high-maintenance friend (to put it nicely).  I think she sounds like way too much stress and effort to be bothered with.  If you really want to keep this friendship, obviously accusing her of lying about breast cancer isn't going to go down well, but you don't want to be taken in for a sucker either.  ... wow, this sounds like a high-maintenance friend (to put it nicely).  I think she sounds like way too much stress and effort to be bothered with.  If you really want to keep this friendship, obviously accusing her of lying about breast cancer isn't going to go down well, but you don't want to be taken in for a sucker either.  Tell her you want to support her and be there for her but you are finding it difficult because of her history with dramatic stories.  Remind her that true friends don't lie to each other and encourage her to confide the truth without being judged.  If it turns out after all this that it is a lie but she has continued to play the sick role- it might be time to terminate the friendship- whats a friendship without trust, truth and confidence?  If she is sick, you have still offered your support.  All I can say is good luck, whatever you decide, because this has the potential to not end up very pretty.


]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973442 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973442 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:29:20 -0800 Re: should i say something? mystikal I do know someone who was a pathological liar. With the right professional help, they can improve. It took 3-4 years of counselling to get to this point though and to pin-point the trigger and what caused it etc In order to even get to the counselling stage it was a very frustrating thing to go through pointing out the ... I do know someone who was a pathological liar. With the right professional help, they can improve. It took 3-4 years of counselling to get to this point though and to pin-point the trigger and what caused it etc In order to even get to the counselling stage it was a very frustrating thing to go through pointing out the lies, and backing that person in to a corner so all evidence proved they were lying and they had nothing to fall back on. I don't even know if that's the right thing to do but it worked. They had to admit that they had a lying problem before they could get help.

Personally if you don't want to go through all of this and don't think it's worth the hassle I would continue to be her friend but just take what she says with a grain of salt unless you see it with your own two eyes. Some people know that they are doing it and for others it is so habitual that they don't even realize they're doing it and sometimes believe their own lies.

If it ever puts you in uncomfortable situations or dangerous situations, then perhaps it's best to let her go. Sorry I couldn't be much more help to you.

]]> http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973441 http://www.minti.com/questions-and-answers/discussion/973430/should-i-say-something//#973441 Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:26:35 -0800